Before your current Domme/Master

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by ChasteBr, Jul 16, 2010.

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  1. ChasteBr
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    ChasteBr Chaste Married Male

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    As my wife and I try to grow into this day by day, I was wondering what was your life like before you found your dominant counterpart.

    I mean how many of these things did you explore on your own, prior to finding someone to share it with, or sharing it with someone.

    As for myself, I certainly fantasized and explored and ready anything I could. I even bought a toy or two (or three or four but who is counting). I think the fact that I did some of this is a bit of a turn off for her, because I am ahead of her, and at a minimum it was impolite to leave her behind.

    Yes I freely admit I should have shared this with her 10 years ago when we first met, but I didn't and I am more than happy to spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

    Anyway, what were your experiences like before you found your Domme/Master, and have your past experiences contributed to any difficulties in your current relationships?

    ChasteBr
     
  2. asonx355
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    asonx355 Hey there, how are you?

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    A lot of stupid things! I have a similar story as yourself. Looking back on it now, I pushed a little to hard. I have known since high school that I identified as a submissive/slave, and like all bois I wanted everything right then and there. Leaving me to explore the fantasy via the Internet. Which was stupid, stupid, stupid and almost resulted in the end of our relationship.

    So we started communitcating and began the journey into a female led relationship and D/s with chastity. It hasn't been easy, especially when overcoming taboos.

    We are still working, exploring ourselves, and learning more as each day passes.
     
  3. Kali
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    Kali No access to my Member

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    I was a well-known alpha dom in the community (still am, for that matter).

    My relationship with Madam lets me explore things I otherwise wouldn't have the trust and confidence to examine with another person.

    Bet that really confuses the issue for you ;)
     
  4. ChasteBr
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    ChasteBr Chaste Married Male

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    No confusion at all. I just wonder how some people make the different transitions.

    Moving in and out of any relationship is difficult. Moving in and out of a D/s style relationship probably requires even more work.
     
  5. Sissy_Aline
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    Sissy_Aline Senior Member

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    i think that many of us can write a book on this subject. Truly it's been more of a spiritual journey for me - like going through the swamps to find Yoda - enlightenment. my experiences have all been build up to the current relationship and the past is the past - learn from it.

    i serve a Lady in full who is a powerful business owner, accomplished author and someone who is naturally dominant to begin with and has learned Her own way. She decides and controls all sexual decisions. i have to respect Her decision making which affects all of Her well-being.

    The journey that we all take to this point is almost laughable when you go back and look - ah, the mistakes, the fun, the joy, the heartbreak. Learn and enjoy where you are and if it is process currently that is happening, do things to make the process something to learn and grow from. Do them within your own sphere of what is correct and what is acceptable to you. If in relationship, for you and Yours.

    Blessed to be where i am however it does require work and communication as in any relationship. Take NOTHING for granted or it will become that - nothing!


    :D
     
  6. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Hindsight is a wonderful thing to possess! Wish i'd of had some 15 years ago, i did come clean that i occasionally dressed but didn't really understand why i wanted to be under strict control of a dominant woman. I suppose the feelings i was having were much more sporadic back then, where as now there is almost a constant urge to be submissive towards my Mistress.

    Our relationship in the early stages was fun fun fun, hardly any serious thoughts to settling down & having a morgage, kids etc... Once they all came our social life became pretty dull. There were a few other fairly deep seated ruts we had gotten ourselves into but we still managed to stick around & enjoy the odd time together.

    Since beginning our journey life has given us a huge kick up the arse! We are now a couple with a much happier & brighter future & we both love it!!

    Sissyfrills x
     
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