Almost desperate

Sit down and have a long and loving talk. Make sure that he knows that at this talk (or talks) there is a safe place for him to say exactly what he needs to say without any punishment after. Ask him how he have it most of the time - and not in his fantasy world, but in the real world. Is it too hard on him? He can wish a really hard dominatrix but in reality not be ready to live it and so on.. Do he have any ideas that would make it easier for him? Sometimes it is necessary to take a step backward before going two steps forward. Hopefully, it is not a sprint you guys are doing but a marathon that you can keep on doing without burning out in it. Well I could keep going, but I think and hope you get my point.

 

I do not claim to have any advice to give. your sub is one of the very rare ones to share a relationship with a dominant woman. I would go with certain comments that it is necessary to have a safe ground where your dominated can express himself. but he must be considered very lucky and sometimes he has to refocus and correction is necessary. I agree with some comments about the challenge that controlled male chastity brings. it could become a source of anxiety. maybe your submissive needs a tease or a release?

personally, the pressure to come becomes strong in several circumstances: temporary manipulation and need for attention, desired and poorly communicated fantasy, stress, etc. for my part, if my kh punished me with too heavy sentences, I would become discouraged. as long as I get the attention, the bonding, the affection, and the goals that I am capable of achieving, I become much stronger and perseverant. take care of you.

 

Usually when I'm having trouble, my Mistress can tell that something is wrong. We then sit down and have a convo about what is bothering me and it usually turns out that it's something selfish that I'm feeling, example: I should be able to cum like other men.

After we have gotten it all out, she always gets us back to our place of remembering that we are in a FLM and that I have agreed that she is in control.

She then gives me a maintenance spanking that lasts a long time to help me get back to my happy place.

Maybe all he needs is for you to discipline him.

 

It's all about good communication.

We suspect the Dominant female doesn't have English as a first language.

We also can't assume that "breakdown" means full metal jacket "mental breakdown" whereby the male sub needs hospitalisation and medicinal care.

When I read it first, I saw blubbering male in front of his Mistress not fully realising what he'd gotten into. Equally with good communication they could work things out.

What I still can't work out is if hubby can't respond here is this an act of abuse or is he unable to communicate properly.

Not sure we've enough information to make any calls except to say if it's a real breakdown then external help is needed quickly.

 

Mistress Victoria, to answer you question, No it is not strange at all for you to deny your husband an orgasm when he asks or begs for one. As his keyholder it is of course at your discretion when or if he is allowed to cum.

I also wanted to thank you for sharing your posts about your lifestyle. I have re-read all your posts. I think the language barrier may cause some misinterpretation of your meaning.

In looking at your posts, it seems to me that you are quit strict with your husband's chastity as well as his access to other pleasures such as allowing him to pleasure you orally. I know there are many ladies who view chastity much as you: the husband is denied most or all releases and with very limited to sexual access to you, and they are cuckolds as their wives have taken other lovers due to his chastity. In that, I do hope you give your husband some type of sexual enjoyment or relief such as teasing or milking. You state often that you want to remain strict with his chastity but make it as easy as possible, you obviously care very much for him. You state that your current lifestyle is a result of things progressing from a game initially to where you are now, having him very restricted in his chastity. I think this is also very common here. Some ladies are just much stricter in their desires for their chaste husbands than others.

I can only imagine how hard his chastity must be as he is only 37 and restricted to 2 orgasms a year. If you follow through with your punishment for trying to cum, he will only have 1 orgasm this year and be pussy free forever! I am much older than him and I cannot imagine this for myself.

I am curious what choice he made with your collar and handcuffs? Did he take your offer to be released from his cage for a short time while cuffed? This arrangement would be an ideal opportunity for you to tease or edge him without an orgasm, pushing his horniness even higher. But he would have no choice but to return to his tiny cage when you decided it was time!

I hope you will continue to share you thoughts about you and your husbands journey.

 

Clearly he likes it otherwise he would be down he DIY store and getting the cage off.

 

I think barring a true mental breakdown you made the correct decision. No person is forced to stay with a mate . If someone is unhappy with their relationship they can simply leave. If this is a lifestyle someone truly wants then both parties need to agree on the parameters that are set and accept the rules and consequences. In my personal FLR we have clear defined roles. My wife is in charge and the Alpha. I am submissive and the Beta. I no longer have control over the penis connected to my body, other than to urinate. It belongs to her and she chooses if and when she plays with it or it ejaculates. This is my own personal view and experience.
Good luck.

 

I agree!

 

I agree with the kh here. Why is she being demonized for doing her part? I think they are lucky to have each other.

 

I was wondering what happened with the lady who started this thread. I have not seen any other posts from her in some months. I am hoping she returns and posts more about their relationship and life!

 

Sorry, but I don’t agree that ongoing “enthusiastic” consent is a requirement for a non-abusive relationship for everyone. I have given a completely Risk Aware blanket consent to my wife years ago that is not revocable. She remains responsible that no permanent harm should befall me, but changing my mind is not an option. That doesn’t invalidate your concern for this individual. But I reject that one cannot when fully informed give up the right to withdraw consent. Some choices in life are a one way trip.

 

What you choose to do with your wife is entirely up to you and her, but whatever your agreement with her is, it has no legal standing in any country in the world (as far as I am aware). You are able to change you mind at any point and end the agreement with her or end the relationship. You are free to choose and you choose to keep to your agreement.

I reject your rejection.

 

...and I figure you would.

Of course, you can leave the relationship anytime you want.

However, you may be underestimating the level of seriousness that some couples have gone to imitate “real slavery”, for which there are very real consequences for leaving.

For those slaves:

The question is what do you have when you leave? That depends on how serious you were about putting her in charge. Did you “quitclaim” the deed to your house? Did you set up an LLC in her name to receive payment for you to live in the house, maintain the car or cars that you don’t hold title to etc, that always totals up to your income. Did you helpfully create a "short term" gambling addiction as a cover for going to the Lawyer to giver her power of attorney in all financial matters for the good of the family. Does she have an advanced directive granting her Power of Attorney over your affairs should you have a “emotional breakdown” over your situation.

These are just a few of steps couples have taken to simulate “real slavery”.

These slaves can always leave the relationship with no money, no property and with a ruined credit score small employment prospects.

Is any of the above legally enforceable after the dissolution of a marriage? Hell no, just like an unfair prenup isn’t. But, can the slave afford to sue to recover his losses? Maybe maybe not, (few lawyers are going to take this on contingency, few maybe zero). Since it’s a Civil matter are the police interested? Hell no, they have real crimes to deal with.

Does all of the above fall under abuse? Not in my opinion if Risk Aware Fully Informed adults have entered into the situation.

Is it ill advised to do? Probably, so is sky diving (by the way that’s irrevocable consent until you reach the ground), stepping into a boxing ring, self bondage (ever try safe wording your timing mechanism).

The fact that this type of slavery isn't legal in any country anywhere doesn't mean it's not happening and that slaves described don't have a "real" problem if they choose to leave.

 

What you describe is closer to the type of thing that goes on in a religious sect rather than a loving relationship. Perhaps elements of Stockholm Syndrome are relevant too.

Basically, we're discussing whether this amounts to a loving relationship or an abusive one.

Once the relationship has been ended and consent is withdrawn, by either party, one party being forced to continue, because there is no option, makes it abuse in my opinion.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, I think.

 

Next week, on "Meet my on psycho partner", we'll meet a guy who's wife wants to cut his cock off foir her sexual kinks, a guy who agrees to be feminized but doesn't want to, and a real fucking idiot who signs all of his stuff over to his psycho partner.

So yeah, tune in next week for more of this fantasy lunacy.

 

Before you follow your tendency to declare everything as "fantasy", because it's way outside your (and to be fair mostly everyone's) comfort zone, you should do a little home work.

Maybe start with googling male null surgery and actually read about people who've chosen to do it that are NOT Transgender. Better yet register for free on

https://www.bme.com/media/all/extreme/nullo_male

Then you can see the surgical pictures for yourself.

Is everything you label in your reply "lunacy"? That's a subjective statement so, sure have it your way. But, is it only "fantasy"? That would be an objective statement.

Do your homework.

 

Hey, I have no doubt you have a psycho partner, and that psycho partners exist. Heck, I am sure some of them are in the government.

Did you have a point, or were you just wanting to confess that you have a psycho partner?

 

You know nothing about my partner and if you read my original response in this thread you would know my point.

So Troll on…

 

While there is no way I could cope with someone that strict, I do agree with the above quote, a good paddle goes a long way to curbing the need to cum feeling.

My partner/Mistress can also detect the most micro of sulks and it always pertains to lack of for want of a better work "action", this usually ends up with my butt being really sore.

In fact I expect that may well happen tonight when she comes over, or I might be lucky

 

Is anyone having fun in this play.

 

Not at all. This is the type of abuse that keeps this as a behind the shadows kink...