mikecb - "Always Locked"

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by mikecb, Oct 8, 2021.

Random Thread
  1. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    I'm back from the dead, and ready to party! OK, if you're old, like me, you'll recognize that tagline... ;-p

    Anyway, it's been a long time. I thought I'd start a fresh blog. My old blog started in 2008 is still kicking around in this forum.

    My wife remains uninterested in chastity play, and pretty much anything sexual at this point. We're at am age where she's filing for Social Security in a few months. I'm a few years younger, but will probably be retiring a little older, in 8-10 years. That said, my interests and libido remain reasonably high, for an old guy. My fantasies around being locked in chastity and permanent orgasm denial remain chief in my wank fodder, as they have been for most of my life. With Loctober inspiring me, I've decided to take more steps toward that fantasy.

    I posted in another thread, yesterday, a notion that I like to think of as "Always Locked". Rather than bandying around the word "permanent chastity" or "24/7/365", which I think is naive, I like the notion of being "locked" in chastity as a default state. Basically, "Always locked" means I would always wear a chastity device, unless there is some compelling reason not to. For example, Dr's appointment, chaffing, wanking, airplane travel, etc. It would essentially be 24/7, except when it isn't, but then right back in. Basically, a CB becomes as normal as wearing underwear. I would like to be "Always Locked".

    I love the sensation of being locked in a chastity device, full stop. That alone is satisfying. Orgasm denial amps the feeling up even more. Fantasizing about long term denial amps it even further, with "permanent denial" being the pinnacle wank fodder. Which, for all of us into chastity play, is the delicious irony. We masturbate to the thought of not being allowed to orgasm. Having a keyholder is obviously another important aspect. I don't have that now, as my wife is uninterested, but I do have pretty significant willpower. There are also timed or remotely controlled keysafe options, which I could pursue.

    "Always Locked" is a lot easier for me now than it was years ago. I work from home, now, due to the pandemic. My job has made the transition to at-home work permanent, so I won't be going back to an office. Since it's a 1/2 hour commute, I don't go into town to use the gym, anymore. I've bought some home equipment (which I need to use more!). There is really no day to day reason for me to remove my CB device, other than Dr appointments or discomfort, right now.

    So, on to reality, I really haven't worn any of my chastity devices in years, due to fit issues, and gym usage. I have a Lori tube which has a ring that's way too big, and a tube that's just a touch too small. I can jam into it, but it put's a bit of pressure on my PA piercing. Also, due to my vein structure, my PA is not centered on the bottom of my penis, so the I have to be installed somewhat "twisted" in the tube to line things up, which adds more pressure. I wrapped tape around the ring to reduce the diameter, and that works for now.

    Still, since my PA is VERY well healed these days, I busted out the Lori tube last night and with about an hour's effort, managed to get myself into it. Lining up the PA hole is a REAL pain in the butt For that reason alone, using the Lori is a commitment to leaving it on for a while! I've had the Lori on for about 12 hours, and it feels great. I think my longer term solution is to 3D print a device that's custom made for my PA placement and proportions. Using the Lori tube as a baseline should make that plausible. I'd rather have a steel device, and maybe I'll look into it if "Always Locked" seems to be working well for me. I feel I should try committing to this as a "lifestyle" for a while before I make a more significant investment.

    So, at least for now, I'm starting my "Always Locked" journey. I'm in my Lori tube as I type. I'm playing along with Loctober, though on the honor system, and have even implemented a point scheme which gives me penalty days and bonus deductions. I've been lax about exercise, for example, so missing a workout penalizes me that entire day of chastity. I've played games with elaborate point schemes in the past, and somehow it makes the experience more interesting, since I don't have a KH to spice up the game. The point system involves some weight loss, so Locktober is likely to string on into NOvember, DENIALcember, and no-Jack January at this pace. lol. That's what makes it fun!

    Anyway, I'm back. I'm reading these forums, along with fetlife and some porn on twitter to spice up an otherwise "always locked" existence for now. :)
     
  2. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    Slight progress update. I survived my first night jammed into the Lori tube. No real problems. My years of chastity play have my body pretty much adapted to morning wood, and calming right back down automatically. I ran some errands yesterday, and one of my testicles managed to (painfully) pop through the ring. Dangit! So, when I got home, I went through the laborious process of removing the tube. There is a security lock on the bottom of the tube to hold in the PA pin, and on the top to hold the tube to the ring. I put them on there pretty snug. For a moment, I thought I'd need pliers to get them loose. I re-oiled them when I got them off. They're kinda old, and have a little rust inside.

    I applied more tape to the right side of the ring. My right nut doesn't hang as low as the left, and it's the one that went walkabout. The tape should narrow up the diameter on that side. I cleaned everything up, and reinstalled.

    I did have a minor amount of swelling and edema, but even in the hour I had the tube off to clean and adjust, it all went away. I'll keep an eye on things.

    I spent the night in it again last night. I'm now about 36 hours into "always locked" with just an hour break to adjust the tube.

    I'm sure there will be issues and frustrating times ahead where I have to remove the tube to heal, etc. That's part of the process I'll have to deal with. I imagine part of the solution will be to start stocking multiple devices. I'd love something with a waistband. I may have to build something as my "PA resting" belt. I'm crafty enough that I can't bear to spend another $1000 on a manufactured belt. That, and we bought an new-to-us old house that's taking up all our money. I'll build, if I want something. But that's for the future, for now.
     
    Rectrix likes this.
  3. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    A bit of a setback last night, but not at all surprising. After 48 hours in the Lori tube, I removed it due to a bit of a twinge on the PA, swelling and a bruise on the top of my penis. It's off for a day or so to recover. It'll take some toughening, no doubt. In the meantime, in honor or locktober, I'm behaving myself.

    I've got to finish a bed leveling on my 3D printer, and then I should be able to start printing a tube to address some of the fit and comfort issues with the Lori. I can use the Lori as a model, and just try to adjust from the dimensions and shape that already work 90% of the way. More on that as I go. I need to dust off my Fusion360 skills.
     
  4. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    Swelling went down in the last 36 hours and other than a bit of try skin on my testicles, I felt like everything else was back to normal, so this afternoon, I put myself back into the Lori. I really don't think it's a long term solution, but if I use a captive ball solution, I need to toughen that skin up a bit anyway. Also, the PA needs to get toughed up, so this isn't wasted effort.

    I'm trying to keep forward momentum on several fronts. I've been thinking about criteria:
    - Self locking - my wife isn't interested, but doesn't care if I do.
    - Multiple devices to switch among for healing / convenience purposes, both tubes and full belt ideally.
    - Build my own to the extent possible. I'm handy with tools, and fabrication, and also have a 3D printer.
    - Keysafe / timer - when I can go for days/weeks without removing a device, I want to restrict access to keys. I'll build this, and also integrate remote access, and games of chance, etc.
    - Safety key issue - Safe Deposit box in a bank a block away. I'm not interested in giving a key to my wife. The last time we tried, she just stuck it on our key hook by the door. That's really a mood buster. Other options?

    I've made a "todo" list of other things that I need to make forward progress on. I need to prioritize to getting a device that I can wear for a few days at a time. That said, I geeked out on some of the tech issues with the keysafe and building a device, and spent some time on those projects in the last day or so.
     
  5. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    As I look into various longer term options, I've been trying to wedge myself into the Lori tube. That's really a fail. It's just not proportioned right for me. I get edema really quickly. So, I busted out my old modified CB-3k. I had shortened the tube and re-glued it a long time ago. I also built a security cable so I could pass my PA's CBR through the slot at the end, and feed through a cable that's locked back to the A-ring posts. It's inescapable but looks like shit, between the clear plastic (which I detest) and the glue marks where the tube was shortened. Still, it's the more comfortable among my options at the moment, so I'll use it as I can, while I think about design for the next generation of tube. I like a trapped ball device for the minimalism, so I want to toughen up my scrotum a bit for longer term wear. Ultimately, I think I'd like a trapped-ball device for most use, and a full belt to give my sack a rest when it inevitably gets chaffed.
    cb3k mod.JPG
     
    JackStrap likes this.
  6. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    12,249
    Likes Received:
    6,633
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Local Time:
    8:10 PM
    A great looking device!
     
  7. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    I sort of hate it, but it's what I have functional at the moment.

    On the plus side, I had to downsize my PA last year after it was out for a few months due to surgery and recovery. I couldn't get my 4ga or 6ga jewelry back in, so I had to downsize to 8ga. Well, this chastity play has helped stretch that back out, After a week of puttering with the Lori tube and CB3000, I tried my 6ga jewelry, and it slipped right in. The 4ga still wouldn't go, however. Well, this morning, I gave the 4ga another whirl. After just a little poking and pushing, I'm back to my 4ga jewelry. I'm pleased that's back to "normal". Now, I have to decide if I want to go to 2ga or not. I like the idea of having a 2ga piercing, but It may or may not have impact on what CB's are viable moving forward.
     
  8. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    So, I couldn't resist the temptation. I ordered up a 2ga (6.5mm) CBR for my PA. It's been VERY comfortable with my 4ga (5mm) jewelry. It's as if it hadn't been downsized for nearly a year! Since it'll need to stretch to 6.5mm for the 2ga, I installed my 6ga (4mm) plus an 8ga (3mm). That's not a perfect circle, but it definitely feels like a stretch, especially since the two rings interact and cause a bit of tugging off and on. I'll leave that for a few days, and then maybe swap in my 4ga again with 10ga, which I suspect will be a lot tighter. Then I can either try 4ga + 8ga, if the 2ga doesn't yet fit.

    In the meantime, my scrotum has been sore and a bit itchy from being stretched out while in a tube on and off for a week, so I've been giving it a few days to recover, before I get back into something. My nuts just need to learn the "new normal". hehe

    Finally, I've also been tooling up my Fusion 360 skills to design a custom tube. This is just a rough draft to build skills, but it's at least a start at trying to design something to fit my own needs. After I got this far, I started messing with designing the keyway for the lock. More to come on this project.

    upload_2021-10-26_16-2-28.png
     
  9. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    The PA is SUCH an easy piercing to stretch. I think the fact that I was at 4ga for years really makes it "ready" for bigger things. In order to open it up a bit in preparation for my 2ga jewelry, I removed the 4ga and stuck in a 6ga + 8ga. That felt like a minor stretch over the 4ga by itself. Well, I tried a few other combinations today, and managed to stuff in the 6ga + 8ga + 10ga jewelry. It feels a bit snug and pinchy right now, which tells me I'm getting a better stretch. My 2ga jewelry should be in in a few days. I may leave the 3 rings in for a week or so before I try, just to give things a bit of time to adapt. It was a challenge to get that third ring in there, so I don't want to lose the headway by removing them too soon.

    In the meantime, even without a CB on right now, the snug feeling is pleasant. Also, with 3 rings sticking out of my urethra, there's no way I can stand to pee, so that reinforces the "Always Locked" feeling for the time being.
     
  10. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    Well, that was so easy it was almost boring. My 2ga jewelry arrived for my PA today. I had been wearing 3 smaller rings jammed into my PA to stretch it up to about the right size. I fully assumed I'd need to do more stretching, but when the ring arrived, I couldn't resist. Even though I'd only been stretching for about 36 hours, I removed the 3 rings, and tried the 2ga ring. It slid right in with no effort whatsoever. The hardest part was getting the ball on. I had generously lubed the rings coming out, and the ring going in, so everything was slippery as hell! lol.

    Measuring, my 4ga jewelry was 5mm on the dot. I googled 2ga, and was expecting 6.5mm, but it was actually just 6mm. So, I was definitely stretching harder than I needed to. That said, looking at the 2ga, it already seems like it could be bigger! lol. My compulsive side kicks in. I should really look for a 1ga, as a 2ga ->0ga switch goes from 6mm to 8mm, which is quite a jump.

    Life has been busy, so I haven't had time to get back to the 3D design work. I expect to spend some time on it over the weekend.
     
  11. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    Well, I've been doing orgasm denial since the beginning of locktober, with intermittent CB wear between my old CB-6000 and Lori tube - just trying to get my balls used to being captured again. It's been extremely satisfying. I've reached a point in my life where I have a very strong pull to just get a working device, lock up, and declare myself "orgasm free" for the remainder of my life. Given that I just got hard (well as hard as one can) in my Lori tube as I typed that gives me some verification of the fantasy. I think I could be very content if I was locked and kept myself horny and denied. My Wife is really out of the picture, sexually, She wouldn't care, and probably wouldn't even notice for months.

    So, I continue to work in that "always locked" direction, with the added "no more orgasms" thought in mind. I've been a bit busy, but I've been studying CB tubes and designs, and boning up, so to speak, on Fusion 360 to design better tubes. I've got some cylinder locks in hand, and can design a tube around them. The present plan is to build a 3D design that is fairly open and wearable for weeks to months without removal.

    At present, the risk to being orgasm-free is that it's totally dependent upon my willpower during weak moments. So, when I have a working tube that I can wear for weeks to months at a time, I'll design an insert that I can put in place of the lock that will snap in, or perhaps just be krazy-glued in. The idea being that I can lock the device on, and it will require cutting to remove. Since it's a 3D print that I designed, that's not a huge problem or expense. However, it will block my ability to "just take it off and wank" during times of low willpower.

    The long term plan is to have a device that I can "snap" on which will need destruction for removal, which will happen a few times per year for necessary doctor visits, but in general, it won't be possible to just casually grab the key and in a fit of hormones, rub one out.

    Anyway, that's my thinking at the moment. I'll continue working in that direction, unless desires change. However, since chastity has been my principal wank fodder for 40 years, it seems unlikely that I'd ever lose the urge to do this.
     
  12. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    4:10 PM
    I've been busy, but made a tiny bit of progress on a 3D printed cylinder. It works with the lock/key combo I picked up on amazon. It's just a cylinder that isn't attached to a tube or anything, but it's a prototype that I can now use as I design a 3D tube. I've also spent more time training-up on Fusion 360, though not much. I'm fairly confident I can use the tool to design the tube, now, but I'm still watching some youtubes on design of "assemblies" so that I do it in the most flexible way. It will inevitably need adjustments, and if I make it easy to tweak, I'll be better off in the long run.

    Meanwhile, I've more or less punted on my plastic CB-3000 device. Though it's the better fitting, it really chaffs me, and I get skin irritation with it. So, I've been ramming myself into the slightly-too-small Lori tube every few days. I can wear it about 24 hours at a time, with a day or so of break. The real problem is the placement of the PA insert. It's just in the wrong place, so I have to stick my penis in a little twisted to line things up. If I "untwist" and try to straighten out in the tube, I get some pinching around the PA opening. Fortunately, I haven't had any edema or anything, but it's limiting me to about 24 hours at a time. Still, it's good training to get my body used to tube-wearing again. I've worn it about 1/3 of the time this week, which is much better than I assumed i could ever get with the Lori. I've worn it overnight about 4 times, now. This morning was the first time I woke up not feeling "pinched", so I've left it on for now. We'll see how long it remains comfortable.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice