Not sure what to think

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Crystal'sPup, Nov 8, 2021.

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  1. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    Hi everyone!

    My wife @HisQueen82 has traditionally locked me for no more than 2 days for punishment, but currently she is approaching 4 days. I know this pales in comparison to what I have seen others endure but after almost 4 days it makes me wonder if my wife has unleashed her inner goddess. I am so unsure what is going through her head, and I know better than to ask, especially how long I will be caged for. The infringement this time was forgetting my wedding ring when we went out, she was with me.

    I am confident that she is enjoying this because she knows I am left not knowing what is going on and the focus of every action is on her, which I try to do even when not caged, the cage is not my reason for doting over her. Does she know how long? Does she not? Is she plotting something else? Those questions cannot be asked because that is her choice, not mine. She is still being affectionate and is allowing me to sleep in our bed, so I am getting lots of mixed signals, is this all part of it? To keep me wondering?

    I am posting this because I am curious about others that have been in this situation and I only tagged my wife because she should know that I posted this so she is not surprised. My wife and I do play (for lack of a better word) often, but I am wondering this time if a switch was flipped that is making things different. I mentioned in my status update that for punishments, the majority of the time, she goes for the metal spike cage, but this time, not spikes, just the bars which gives me an indication that she is doing this long-term. So now I wonder, is this going to be another day, week, month? I want to make it clear that I am not trying to provoke a response from my wife to answer that, it is just my own curiosity. Should I stop thinking about it and just accept that she has the final say in this?

    Thanks everyone.. I will look forward to hearing about your experiences.
     
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  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Just communicate and be honest. This stuff is no fun if someone is upset or confused.
     
  3. JuneChas
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    JuneChas Active member

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    Hey Pup!

    So, there are different ways to look at this. As king hippo said, communicate and be honest, however, in your situation I think you are less confused but more adapting to a change you are not used to. I do not see anything wrong with what your wife @HisQueen82 is doing. This is enforcing her will, she is not causing harm, therefore there is a bit of psychological control when it comes to punishing or correcting behavior. I read your post as more of you wanting to make sure you are complying with her desires and expectations which seems to have some uncertainty, but that is NOT a bad thing.

    I have had a conversation on here with your wife, and while I will not disclose everything out of respect for her, I do know that 4 days is outside of the norm for both of you which you have mentioned yourself. My suggestion is to embrace the change and not question why she still has you locked up, you should stop thinking about it and accept her direction and be grateful that you have such a loving wife.

    As for your "unlocking her inner goddess" comment, that is not unheard of that a woman all of a sudden wants to take things to the next level, trust me, I have been there. You should not worry about how long, or what comes next, enjoy it, embrace it, and be thankful for her attention towards you.

    Can't wait to hear more, sounds like the both of you are growing in your journey!

    Ms. June
     
  4. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    At some point we created a caption for our blog where we gave the following warning:

    "The danger is not that she doesn't love it, but that she loves it very much".

    With my wife, the love for keeping me chaste has also developed slowly. But faster than with me!

    But if she goes for it, is strict and follows through, you will soon be allowed to shine too, with times locked in the cage beyond weeks and months!
     
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  5. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Well, we've all started with a few hours in chastity, then a day, then a weekend.
    When my wife and I decided that we enjoyed and wanted to explore male chastity more, I set up a "training schedule" which she took to like a fish to water.
    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?gallery/photos/chastity-training-program.14678/


    The natural progression was four days, a week, two weeks, a month, two months, three months, six months. We had a 'life gets in the way' break a couple of times, but the general rule has been that once a new milestone is reached, that then becomes the 'normal' lock up period.
    Over the last couple of years I've been on three to six months at a time, and once a current 'life gets in the way' thing is resolved, I fully expect her to make me go for a whole year.
     
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  6. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    Thank you for the reply Turma, best of luck in your progress with your wife. As for me, everything is unknown and I have no problems with that at all as long as my wife is contempt; I will shine at her pace.

    I love that warning by the way...
     
  7. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    If a milestone is reached, is that considered the new minimum or are there times when it is less? Three to six months, wow, even after 4 days things get challenging. Can I ask you a question about long term? One thing that always reminds you of the cage is the squeezing of the glans ridge, it is like a constant reminder. Does that diminish over time or does it remain constant?
     
  8. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    Ms. June,

    Thank you for taking the time to reply so thoughtfully! My wife was gleaming earlier because she replied to a convo with you before reading this post, and after reading it she saw how our perspectives aligned so well. We always talk about how connected we are, this is just another piece of proof. I agree with you that it is her will, she is not causing harm, and it is something we are adapting to. As Hippo had said, communicate and be honest, which we do, however, in this case I think that the uncertainty is a part of the punishment and “uncertainty” and “bad” are not synonymous for us. I posted this originally because I enjoy seeing what different people have to say and what their experiences are.

    I have embraced the change and I know better than to ask my wife how much longer this will be, no way I will ask her, in my opinion it diminishes what she is doing by me asking. I am grateful for having such a loving wife, and even the word grateful barely touches what I feel for her, it is so much deeper. So almost 5 days in, we have more than doubled our past time and everything is in my wife’s hands. One thing we were also talking about is that a 24/7 FLR can result in boredom over time. I agree with my wife on that because when something happens, instead of knowing you are going to get punished, it makes you wonder. Especially if it is not immediate like my recent neglectful act of forgetting my wedding ring, it was almost 12 hours later when she reacted with a text message of a lock, that was it and I knew what it was for, what it meant, and what to do.

    Thank you…

    Pup

    Devoted husband of @HisQueen82
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    that’s all down to your key holder! And no it does not diminish over time!
     
  10. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    The times when it is shorter there is usually a reason for it, such as a session with the doctors, or travelling by air. We're sort of 'permanent' in that unless there's a reason for me to be unlocked, my default state now is locked up, but we're also pragmatic in that it's not a competition, more a way of life, and if there's a reason to need to be unlocked, then so be it. My wife really doesn't want anyone else to know, especially the medical profession who she has a work connection with, so that want of privacy overrides everything else.

    I've not had a problem with my glans at all, mainly because I'm uncut and a grower with a more than generous foreskin so have an excess when flaccid. I have the other problem - protruding foreskin getting pinched.
     
  11. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    Yow, that is something to think about if that is not something that is adjusted to over time! It is like an intermittent twitch that never stops...
     
  12. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    I can understand what you mean about your doctor, especially when there is a work connection, could make things awkward for her which I am sure you do not want! Thank you for sharing, that is exactly what I was looking for!
     
  13. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    This is totally up to you and your wife, how you define "minimums" or how often you get free. If you're trying to keep "score" its how you define what the score is. From my experience, my wife and I usually average 2-3 weeks between cums, but she's taken me as long as 3 months (for a special 'birthday' event) and as little as 3 days cause she was horny and wanted sex.


    My cage design (see profile pic) specifically is designed to rest just behind the coronal ridge. I feel it frequently - not constantly, but depending on the underwear/what pants I'm wearing, the top will rub a little bit or the front of the cage squeezes slightly. It's a small reminder of my state.


    Quite like @bondinchas, I'm pretty much always in the cage unless I'm not. And when I'm not it's for specific reasons like a doctors appointment, air travel, or fun times with the wife.
     
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  14. Crystal'sPup
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    Crystal'sPup Active member

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    As it should be, up to her! This is not anything we keep score of, it was just a change from the norm so it got me thinking a bit more than it usually does, more of a wondering about the unknown because I am not allowed to ask how long I am locked up for, but when normally it is 2 days or less, when we hit 4, I was less worried, but more curious what was going on in her mind. That is an interesting cage, is that a 3D printed one? What was weird, is that when she took it off, it still felt like it was on for almost another day.
     
  15. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    Yeah, it's an "evotion wearables" Orion model. Fortunately its super comfy and lightweight, so wearing it for long periods of time are fine. Unfortunately it's super comfy and lightweight so my wife has no problem making me wear it for long periods of time between unlocks!

    I've also had the "phantom cage" syndrome. When I'm unlocked for longer than fun times (say to hit the doc's or for some other specific reason), I'm still in the "caged" mindset and don't adjust quickly to freedom!
     
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  16. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    For me all of my releases and shaving/cleaning intervals were defined in our chastity contract. My cage is removed weekly for deep cleaning, shaving and wellness check. I have no predetermined set release days, so i never know just how long i will be locked for. She has full control and all say so over her penis. My deeds and behavior can impact my lock up time. I am at 149 days currently for unauthorized activity. I do not have a clue at all when i will be released again.
     
  17. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Good luck to you both
     
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