The calendar is an unsatisfying Key Holder

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by LockedTower, Oct 29, 2021.

Random Thread
  1. LockedTower
    Offline

    LockedTower Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2021
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    344
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Corporate Stooge
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Minnesota, USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
    This is my first Locktober. My wife / Mistress / KH and I have been playing with chastity a full year now, beginning after I received my first well-fitting cage around the end of October 2020. I have been fantasizing about Locktober for the entire year. My longest lockup until now was 14 days which I have achieved twice in that time period along with a few additional 10+ day lockups, and I wore my cage for a vast majority of the year so I thought I was ready. We really enjoyed ourselves and I really appreciated this new level of control from my KH.

    My KH did not really know anything about Locktober until this September when I started hinting about it and explained it to her. She had no problem with committing to a longer term lockup and agreed to direct that I stayed locked for the entire month. My KH was kind and provided me release in the last days of September and I was instructed to lock up for the entire month beginning on the morning of October 1. I was so happy to get to live out my fantasy.

    However, as time started clicking by I really started to notice that no matter how much I pleased my KH or even displeased her, that in my mind the outcome would be the same and that I would remain locked. I started to feel like my KH was less in charge and that the calendar was now really in control. I couldn't stop thinking that matter how good or bad I behaved that I would still remained locked because it was still Locktober. These thoughts even led to a couple instances of gross misbehavior on my part that displeased my Mistress so much that I received correction. I felt like I was losing my mind and in some ways losing my drive to please my KH because her control over me had been passed to the calendar... to the month of October.

    It is now late on October 28th and I can't wait until November 1st. I have discussed all this with my KH and she has clarified to me that she was always in control and that I should have no expectation of release on November 1st either. While I do believe her, all I can say is that I am extremely ready for Locktober to end and for that day to arrive no matter the outcome. I am eager for my service to once again be fully directed to my Mistress and to look only to her desire for the decision and opportunity for my sweet release.

    If there is anything this experience has taught me it is that I am extremely fortunate to have a KH who loves me and cares for me and provides me the control and direction I desire. The calendar is an unsatisfying KH and I do not plan to mention Locktober ever again. My KH may remember and direct it again at her discretion, but I will not ask about it and instead just move forward with wonder about what she has planned for me and continue to do my best to please her with everything I have to give in hopes of earning her reward.
     
  2. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,076
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
    Loctober is a state of mind and commitment for her to actively participate, more than it is a time frame.

    I have read posts where the kh has actively teased, denied, teased, unlocked, locked, etc etc. All the while not giving in to his pleading or bargaining. That’s what I think loctober represents. An excuse for her to actively tease and give hope but ultimately deny. Maybe hinting at release, etc etc. I would hope it’s not a sentence to be carried out like a misdemeanor stay in jail. It’s supposed to be fun, exciting, unpredictable, and wicked showmanship of control.

    Relax on the rules, there are none. I myself go many months, so a designated month of lockup is redundant. It’s not a real thing so I wouldn’t let a calendar get the best of either of you. My wife has never been a fan of term limits, schedules, or anything mandatory. Her view is, she’s not holding my keys for me, she’s holding her keys for her…and she’ll use em when she feels like it.
     
    lockedbySue likes this.
  3. JaySaysYes
    Offline

    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2020
    Messages:
    2,898
    Likes Received:
    5,278
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    12:45 PM
    If you read about the nofap movement (abstaining from porn, masturbation, and orgasm) you'll see it's quite common to flatline, almost to the state of depression.

    It's normal. It will pass.

    I feel it around 4 weeks without being unlocked.

    There is also a point of calm acceptance.

    It's interesting to observe how our minds behave when our favourite toys are taken away.
     
    SubSnuggler and Giles_English like this.
  4. Cecilia B
    Offline

    Cecilia B Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2015
    Messages:
    691
    Likes Received:
    2,578
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Hotel Assistant Manager
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    If November follows Locktober, then you have no expectation of release.

    I don't do either one with husband. I'd be climbing the walls if I couldn't have him for a month. Since this is all about me, I decide when to have him. Besides, we couldn't do November. Our annual holiday hiatus is approaching (about a week before TG to about a week after V-day). We do this by agreement. I can't lock him up or discipline him for that period. He will still dress up for me, though.
     
  5. SubSnuggler
    Offline

    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

    Joined:
    May 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,374
    Likes Received:
    3,886
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
    I get what you are saying but you can disobey or ignore a calendar...but you can't do that to a Mistress. She certainly WAS and IS in control or otherwise you'd have unlocked.

    All of us have struggles with enforced chastity sometimes. It's not always rainbows and unicorns, but you are among friends and we understand. For me, it's about 3 weeks in. I swear I would rub a bedpost with my device if I thought it would give me relief. But we deal with it because that's what we signed up for to serve our Dominants. Good luck.
     
  6. Disciplined Boyfriend
    Offline

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NE Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    12:45 PM
    In some ways I agree. If you think the calendar is keeping you locked, then I think it's wrong and depends on your definition of being locked for a month is. Some guys thinks it's getting organs and then back in the cage, others think that it's 31 days straight in the cage.

    Either way, without your keyholder you wouldn't have been locked period. But what it does send to have done is strengthed her resolve now she's knows you can go much longer.

    Embrace it and behave otherwise it might be in for a lot longer.

    A
     
  7. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    2,292
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    FWIW - I totally appreciate your POV. Loctober would be fun if she were driving it. I can't imagine it being fun at all if it were my idea.
     
  8. Thomas Gangman
    Offline

    Thomas Gangman Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,020
    Likes Received:
    3,280
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    IT Consultant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern New Jersey USA
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    For the last several years, our calendar has focused on October and Lent. We use the 31 days of Loctober and the 40 days of Lent as key periods of Chastity. In previous years, our party was on Halloween and I was let out on the first for my fun and pleasure. The same for Lent, Easter Sunday was an afternoon of fun and pleasures. Last year my Locktober started the last day in September and I was no let out for 122 days. Lent was also extended to 60 days, but my wife did keep the end of both of those periods interesting.

    This year she has her Halloween Party scheduled for the 31st with 3 other like minded couples. Last year was various contests and the winner was let out the other 3 had to wait a month for the next game. Sadly, I was the loser and ended up being locked the longest. This year the ladies have new contests planned and there are even a few toys for this years winner and loser.

    The bottom line is this, it doesn't matter what the calendar says, its my wife's decision when I get released. To be honest, I am lucky because she like to play, keep things interesting, and all I have to day is stop and I will be let out. Unfortunately, that will result in a significant reduction in chastity play and we both do enjoy it.
     
    Jail Bird likes this.
  9. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    12,244
    Likes Received:
    6,630
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Local Time:
    12:45 PM
    It doesn’t matter what the calendar says, you can do it any time! And if you enjoy it being locktober then why not just do it every month!
     
    Jail Bird likes this.
  10. Jail Bird
    Online

    Jail Bird Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2018
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Mitten State
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    Lent is a big one for us as well. She's very strict about not giving me any attention during that time.
     
  11. Guest 6019
    Offline

    Guest 6019 Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2020
    Messages:
    1,717
    Likes Received:
    2,380
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    12:45 PM
    If she doesn't let you out on the 1st. then there was no calendar. I'm in a similar situation and get what you're saying. Had a few lower moments too, but my wife is teasing about November, so I guess we'll see after the Halloween party.
     
    LockedTower likes this.
  12. MissyB
    Offline

    MissyB Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2019
    Messages:
    7,868
    Likes Received:
    11,320
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Occupation:
    maid, (I wish)
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Tennessee hills
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    At least a calendar is set and can't change it's mind after you've made it through. A KH can do what they want, no mater what you thought would happen.
     
  13. Disciplined Boyfriend
    Offline

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NE Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    12:45 PM
    sorry to go topic briefly, but are these traditional Halloween games like pin something in the ass and find the hanging wet and sticky thing?
     
  14. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    2,292
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    8:45 AM
    Don't forget the blindfolded "bobbing for apples" game ... "hey, that's not an apple!"
     
    Disciplined Boyfriend likes this.
  15. LockedTower
    Offline

    LockedTower Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2021
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    344
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Corporate Stooge
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Minnesota, USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
    The calendar has no mind to change,
     
  16. LockedTower
    Offline

    LockedTower Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2021
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    344
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Corporate Stooge
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Minnesota, USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
     
  17. LockedTower
    Offline

    LockedTower Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2021
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    344
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Corporate Stooge
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Minnesota, USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 AM
    I appreciate how your wife is defining your experience for you. I will be following as close to that path as I am able.
     

Users found this page by searching for:

  1. keyholder not letting me out for a month chastity

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice