Here we go I guess.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by TinyGatsby, Oct 26, 2021.

  1. TinyGatsby
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    TinyGatsby Member

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    I don't know how to start this, so I'll begin with I'm in a very committed marriage with a woman I love dearly. There have been ups and downs of course but overall I'm not sure there is much I would really change if given the opportunity and things lately have been as good as they've ever been. Recently said wife was out of town and I found myself wondering and I've kinda always wanted to fully submit to a dominant woman and I've dropped hints through the years on how I'd like to spice things up a bit, but things never really took and at times my wife flat out rejected the idea, which was obviously her choice. I don't know how long I've been considering male chastity, but I have really wanted to fully submit to this woman whom I adore. So while she was gone I sent her a text saying how I couldn't wait for her to grind her vagina into my face, which obviously resulted in a very excited response from my wife.

    Now, I've mentioned that our marriage is in as good a place as it's been and our sex life recently has almost been what it was like when we were dating, things really have been great, but despite this my wife has been struggling with things that I won't get into here, but I encouraged her to go on a girl's trip to reset because things have sucked the last nearly 20 months for obvious reasons and she should absolutely treat herself because she has more than earned it by keeping our family together through all of this and she absolutely deserves the opportunity to be a little selfish.

    So after she responded with a very eager message from my explicit text I just dropped the bomb that we should try male chastity while she is on her trip... Things then got awkward, I started having some of the most anxiety I've ever had and then she got home the next day, and she brought her aunt Flo which complicated things, I'm not saying this because my wife's cycle is to blame for anything but she typically gets very hands off during this time. I made worse, mainly due to the fact I'm a dumb male who can't fully put into words the feelings and desires I was having, my wife was noticeable perturbed by this revelation and rightfully so, I didn't do myself any favors, oh and I had already bought a cage while she was gone and surprised her with it that evening which was a real doofus move, because now she was of the opinion that I had already made the decision to do this despite me trying to explain things and likely doing myself no favors. So I tell her I'll send her some of the things I've been reading to better describe the feelings I was having and what I was trying to do. I send her the mainstays, Chastity Perkins, Elise Sutton, some other random articles I found. And we talk about it a little, by now I'm having tremendous anxiety issues and feeling more vulnerable than I've ever been. My wife doesn't understand why I want to change things up, I don't understand why she hadn't read any of the material. This all began on a Thursday when I sent the text message, she came home on Friday. I took the cage off Saturday morning because my wife asked for various very reasonable reasons. One of them being the lock being to "click clacky" all the time (I have a CB6000s which is wildly oversized for me, congrats to those who it isn't, because of this I also ordered a nub cage to downsize). I fixed the lock issue by fitting a rubber hose over it to dampen the sound. So I decide to wear it again Sunday again without permission I just wore it for lots of reasons, to be honest I was curious if this was even something I really wanted. On Sunday I also tell my wife I fear I have caused irreversible damage to our marriage, she assures me that I have not.. I took the cage off Sunday evening because it was just too big for me it really doesn't have much point.

    Monday morning I'm now having levels of anxiety that are starting to scare me, I go to work as if everything was okay, but things most certainly were not and there was just an air of awkwardness. And to be fair, my wife was unbelievable in how she treated me while being so vulnerable, I really can't overstate how concerned and thoughtful she was during this time, I told her wanting to try male chastity is the hardest thing I've ever told someone and that obviously this only works on her terms and that she should go at her pace. Well I come home for lunch on Monday and I'm visually shaking, clearly in a bad place. I'm trying my damndest to let my wife know that this is something I have to deal with and she shouldn't feel guilty about going at her own pace, but I do tell her my feelings were a little hurt that she still hadn't read any of the things I sent her, and she said she would that day. An hour and a half later I receive a text that says she is interested in being seduced and having her dominance drawn out. I immediately have a sense of euphoria that I can't even begin to explain. I'm on cloud nine for the remainder of my work day, my wife gives me some simple tasks to accomplish before I get home, of course I do them. I haven't been this excited to see my wife since we started dating in a long term relationship. In hindsight I can't imagine what a long term relationship is like in chastity. We discuss things more that evening, my wife isn't really sure she wants to control my penis 24/7 she tells me I am free to masturbate while not being caged. I then tell her I worry that the system really only works when someone is truly at the mercy of the keyholder while being caged, but again I tell her I'll go at any pace she wants to go. Also, that day the nub replacement cage came in and I ask my wife if I can try it on... well it hasn't come off, this damn thing still isn't going to work for me, it's way too easy to get out of, I'm just too much of a grower and overweight for a non urethral cage to work.

    But anyway, having said that the emotions I'm having and the non-stop thoughts of devotion to my wife that I'm already having are overwhelming. Oh and the fear, my wife was very adamant about me being sure I want to do this because she can have a mean streak and a part of me is terrified to see how far she could take this if she really gets into this the way I think she will. I'm sure there are going to be times that I will absolutely regret doing this. I'm sure at times I will question if it's worth it, but here I sit this morning caged at work obsessing over my wife while getting an uncomfortable chubby while writing this.

    TL;DR in 6 days I've gone from freaking my wife out to being caged and I couldn't be more excited to see where this goes.
     
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  2. sissy veronique
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    sissy veronique Long term member

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    Hello and welcome to Chastity Mansion enjoy your stay here.
     
  3. Drews
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    Drews Long term member

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    Interesting story but be extra careful at the pace. You are excited but it could become overwhelming for her. Slow down and let her make decisions. My wife had also said she did not mind me masturbating. When she got used to how I was when I did not masturbate she totally changed her mind. She now keeps me locked 24/7 unless she wants sex. Over four years without being able to masturbate.
     
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  4. TinyGatsby
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    TinyGatsby Member

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    I've asked if I'm being to pushy, and she says that I haven't been. I have no idea how far we'll go with this. She definitely hasn't unleashed dominance yet. She so far has been way more concerned about my needs than hers up to this point.
     
  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Hope it works out for you both. Welcome
     
  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    elcome to our community. I hope you find it useful and entertaining.
     
  7. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
  8. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Best luck to both of you, just communicate and be honest.
     
  9. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    My wife completely dislikes the device.
    But...she hates me masturbating (daily), far outweighing her dislike.
    And she's as stubborn as they come.

    My wife requires full vaginal sex about 3 to 4 times a year.

    So my cumming is down by x100.

    Good luck to you two.
     
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  10. TinyGatsby
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    TinyGatsby Member

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    My wife has surprised me in some ways, still by no means being dominant. She even remarked last night that she might be too silly a person to really be able to run with this. We've been pretty active the last week, she enjoys the added attention and after the shortest PIV of my life last night as I released disappointingly fast she got off and said "I hope you liked that because that's the last time you are cumming for 2 weeks." I have no idea if she's serious... I don't think she is. She flat out told me she thinks it's wrong how much attention I've been giving her without reciprocation.
     
  11. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    Welcome here :)
     
  12. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Welcome. Hopefully you both find that chastity works as an enhancement. Enjoy
     
  13. Drews
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    Drews Long term member

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    Tell her you are getting attention and excitement in a whole different way and you are loving. Ask her to enjoy the attention and there is certainly no reason for her to feel guilty about enjoying the attention. This was one of my wives biggest hang ups. One day she finally said you are really not going to let me have this much control and attention. My response was I would really like it that way and somehow everything changed.
     
  14. TinyGatsby
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    Whelp, we're taking a temporary pause. My wife is still very much open to taking the next step, but I think she is a little overwhelmed., more than partially because I can't stop bringing it up. So basically I've been directed to not talk about it for the rest of the weekend... the bummer of it, is my new cage came today and the chain she ordered to keep the keys also arrived today. In the just over 7 years of being together I've never seen her wear a necklace. So we're taking baby steps but I love her to death for even entertaining the idea of indulging me in these desires. I'll continue rubbing her shoulders and asking her what she wants to do this weekend. She has also promised me to read some things I've sent her. All things considered we are moving forward even if it's not at the pace I'd like.
     
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  15. Drews
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    Drews Long term member

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    Your wife becoming overwhelmed and wanting a break is pretty typical. If you look back at my reply on October 26, I mentioned that this could happen. You are lucky she did not totally say she is finished. Be extra careful when you start up again. She basically told you what she is not liking about locking you up.
     
  16. TinyGatsby
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    I don't think I've gotten to the point of closing her off forever on the subject. We've had really good conversations on the subject. And I totally get why she is taking it slower than me, it's something I think about all the time where as she only thinks about it when I bring it up. She did tell me that she likes the few times she has told me to do something without worrying about my feelings. I've flossed every day for 2 weeks and I fucking hate flossing.
     
  17. The decorator
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    The decorator Long term member

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    Wait till you’ve waited over 2 months lol
     
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  18. Aspire02
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    Aspire02 Long term member

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    Welcome to the Mansion
     
  19. Drews
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    From my experience, it is best if you almost never bring it up. My wife really does not like to discuss but she has moved to the place that she always wants me locked unless she wants sex. She has told me she knows it is there and we do not have to discuss. She said she feels it when we cuddle in bed and that is all she needs. I know it can be hard not to discuss because you are all horned but I think it is self defeating. Let her find what she likes on her own and go along with it. You will likely find yourself locked more than you ever thought or intended.
     
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  20. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    Do not keep bringing it up! Don't attempt to tell Her how to dominate you as this is what is called "topping from the bottom" and can ruin a good FLR. Slow down, try to think of other things and wait for Her instructions, which are now bound to come! Please post often to let us follow your journey.
     
  21. TinyGatsby
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    Well, I haven't been bringing it up often, I have however been hounding her a bit to read some articles written by people other than me. I asked her last night if she had read them and she said that she just keep forgetting. So I asked her if repeatedly asking her to read the article would be nagging, she said no, I then asked when would be the best time to ask her to read the articles, she said she didn't know.

    Today, after I put our daughter down for a nap I went to do some errands, and asked her if now would be a good time to ask her to read those articles, she said yes, so I then formally asked her if she would read them, she laughed. I go out and about, do some grocery shopping and pick her up some wine and literally as I was pulling into the driveway when I got home I got a text, checked it and she said she had read most of the Chastity Perkins articles but she needed a break from them. When I got inside, I asked her what her thoughts were and she said "You really should have led with this" and I laughed and told her I hadn't read it before bringing it up the first time. She told me that a lot of it makes more sense now, so I told her I would stop bugging her about it and would wait for her to bring it up.

    She really has been excellent about this.
     
  22. TinyGatsby
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    Life has a way of complicating things, I have been locking myself up from time to time, but my wife doesn't really care if I do. She'll hold the keys if I ask her, but she doesn't really take any ownership, she also doesnt really claim to care. If i masturbate. Recently though my wife has been offered a new job so we will be packing up the family and moving halfway across the state. So needless to say things are stressful for a multitude of reasons. When I'm locked up I get suuuuper needy, alarmingly fast. It's the one thing that really makes me question if this is a thing I really want to pursue as it makes me nervous for my brain to take a 180 so fast and so absolute in such a short time. But I do think this is something I desire.

    Having said all of this, I've agreed to not lock up and to not really bug my wife about dominating me for the time being. My wife can be very stubborn, so the last thing I want to do is push her past a point of no return. She is leaving for a girl's trip in a couple weeks and I was really hoping to be locked up during that whole time, but that is very unlikely.

    But what I have been doing is trying to slowly cultivate her inner domme, we both think she has it. My wife really likes the idea of being more decisive and assertive so I'm gonna do whatever I can to do that. I've started showering her with affection and telling her how her pleasure and desires should come before all else, I've begun giving nightly foot massages that can go as long as an hour or even more. Last night while rubbing her feet, I asked her "Do you think you'll get to a point where the nightly foot massage is expected and not doing so would be unacceptable" she responded with the single word of "yes". So the seed is planted.

    She still says that it doesn't feel right for her to orgasm as much as she wants and for me to be at the mercy of her. She has said she doesn't want the responsibility of having absolute control over my penis. And when she has held my key she has shown nearly zero interest in any kind of tease and denial.

    I believe we are getting there though, albeit incredibly slowly. There is almost nothing i wouldn't do for her, so I really hope we can continue to bring out her inner domme.
     
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