Menopause and Chastity!!! ( A Good Combination)

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Miss E’s Bitch, Jul 25, 2021.

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  1. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    look like there is a scheme here. When woman arrive to menoposis the sex drives goes low.
    Mine is in the middle of it, according to her doctor it can happen from now to next 3 years (at most) but her sex drive has fall due to the complementary of hormones prescribed.

    She still loves cuddle, some sex time to time, a few PIV but like 10x time less. And I guess/suspect that after menoposis it will nearly end.

    On the other end she help me to get feminized, gentle and in control of her needs. She is not hostile at all for men to have sex with me, I guess she is pushing my sexuality, witch is still high, into men to be sure I don't put some younger girls into my bed.
    For sure, it is hard to go on date while in lace feminine panty. She is not jaelous of men and prefer a men to pegg me than doing it herself (wich makes me a little sad).
    I have to be ready to the time it ends, locked or not. Also she told me it was not needed to be sniped as she won't have any more baby risk now.

    She looks like so vanilla, but is she really? I'm not sure at all she is even if she has not a big plan.
    But since we began, she completly win all sex decision and games. I obey she decide and she has only the sex she wanted to, not what I wanted.
     
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  2. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    Same here, my wife had to have a Hysterectomy and sent her into menopause early so it killed her sex drive. She loves being in control as much i love being controlled and not letting me have an orgasm. It was a perfect natural evolution.
     
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  3. Nmlocked123
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    Nmlocked123 New member

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    My wife has had virtually no sex drive for the last 10 years. We only have sex 4-5 times a year at most. Now she is in menopause to compound the issue. Zero interest. I put on my chastity tube (Lori 5 with piercing pin so no way to pull out) and even though she is not interested in sex or chastity she has taken the key. Last night I tried to bring it up (2 weeks so far, no release at all) and she asked me to write it down. Getting into the fantasy too much I suggested that I stay locked until her menopause symptoms end and her libido comes back enough for her to want sex. Later last night she said that for some women the symptoms of menopause can last a few years, and some ladies never want sex again.

    why did I have to write it down? I may have just put myself into a situation where I will need er be unlocked again. I thought the fantasy was hot, but now that it has a possibility of happening I am regretting it. Especially since I wrote that I would probably try to say I changed my mind and to ignore me if I said I was no longer wanting to be locked. I wrote it by hand and of my own accord, so she can say that it was my own idea.
     
  4. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    You did step one fine. Stop fretting about that.

    It's ok to write her another letter, telling her more. Don't go back on what you said; add to it. Explain how your brain doesn't quite work ... how you really wanted it to be like that, and now you're scared. Look, if she doesn't enjoy having a husband who is crazy about her, it's good to find out sooner than later ...
     
  5. Nmlocked123
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    Nmlocked123 New member

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    as for finding out sooner better than later, we have been married 28 years. I didn’t want to keep rambling on and on. She is not interested in sex, and not wanting a submissive husband. She did accept the note that said I wanted to be denied until she wants to have sex again. Considering the last time was 7 months ago, and that was before she really started menopause, it could literally be a few years until I am free. I told her I would change my mind at some point, but if I did it was just me being horny and what I really need and want is to have her refuse to let me out. For any reason. Except if she wants intercourse. The last two times were uncomfortable for her, and suspect even if she gets in the mood for an orgasm it will not require me being unlocked.

    I think I really am looking at virtually permanent chastity. She doesn’t like to be bothered about the key. There will not be any unlocking for teasing or edging. Unless there is a medical appointment I will be locked 24/7.
     
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  6. Chastity lord
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    Chastity lord chastity lord

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    Good as you should be , accept that it is the best thing that can happen in your situation, She is not interested in sex and may never be again. , A good husband is happy to be locked as long as required.
     
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  7. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    I'm pretty sure my wife hit menopause before I met her, because she has never had much of a sex drive. It's supposed to strike in her early thirties and last 17 years or more, right?
     
  8. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I think you're kidding?
     
  9. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    That's a tough one.

    I hope you can find some ways to rekindle the sexual aspect of your relationship, even if that doesn't mean "sex" in the way that you used to have. It is an important aspect of a relationship, and I don't know how I'd respond if I were in your shoes.

    Good luck with your situation.
     
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  10. diapered_sub
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    diapered_sub sissy slut of my wife

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    It's really funny. Your story reminds me of ours on many points...:+1: But in the same time it's a so nice experience...
     
  11. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    My wife is 60 years old and I am 45 years old. My wife had her uterus removed a good 20 years ago, but not her ovaries.

    Inherently, of course, bleeding stops, but the hormones remain in the body and the function of sexuality is preserved. She has definitely "degraded" a little in the last 4 years but still she comes over at least 1 time a week to be satisfied.

    This, however, without coercion and without that I would address it, it is simply so with her that you want to have sex and in our condition this means toys of every kind, tongue and fisting, which she loves divinely to this day and is the kind of sex in which she almost guaranteed to cum.

    Before it was more, partly every day that I had to "take care" *smiles* but it is clear that the older you get, the less desire for sex is present.

    Yes and chastity is helpful, otherwise I would probably spend every day using my hand.
     
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  12. Hkeye
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    Hkeye Active member

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    My wife has pretty much lost interest in sex due to her menopause. I'm quite small & cum very quickly and although she gets very little (no pun intended) from PIV sex 'lets' me do it occassionaly. We have played with a couple of chastity cages over the past few years and although she seemed to enjoy me not pestering her for sex and sometimes let me lick her to orgasm or use her toys on her. She's not really that interested in being my KH. She chucks it in her bedside draw. I initiated another lock period on 1/1/2022 after giving her a sensual massage and bringing her off with my fingers. on 31/12/2021. She then let me have PIV sex but I came immediately I slid into her wet pussy. I will now stay locked until she asks me to take it off and will not try to not mention it or draw attention to my cage at all. I hope we can enjoy closeness and affection without any pressure on her to allow PIV sex and will be very happy if she wishes to have orgasms from my tongoue or her toys.
     
  13. Uprightinreno
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    Uprightinreno Member

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    My wife had a hysterectomy about 20 years and we maybe had sex a few times after. It’s been at least 15-18 years since we had sex. Maybe a few hand jobs but those stopped at least 15 years ago. Very little intimacy.
    Over the years some cuckold tendencies started to arise which seemed to make me more submissive. Am now into sissygasms and looking into self locking.
     
  14. CagedandhisQueen
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    We’re new here and it was great to find this thread. Our experience for what it is worth…
    We’ve been together just over 5 years, we met in later life and she was 45 and I was 49. She was in her own words a ‘raving nympho’ and to be fair she didn’t exaggerate! Then 3 years ago during a routine check a small lump was located in her breast and yep it was the Big C, thank God it was found very early and her surgeon was an absolute magician and dressed you couldn’t even tell she has has breast surgery. But the ensuing Chemo automatically pushed her into the menopause and then once the genetic work was done it was advised she had a full hysterectomy. Tough times but she came through it.
    It has pretty much wiped out her libido, we battled for about a year or so, I couldn’t make her feel or orgasm like she used to, she experienced some dryness and well she was just no longer a ‘raving nympho’. Around the time this was happening I opened up about my cuckold fantasies, another story altogether and primarily she started telling me all about her (extensive!) sexual past. About 2 years ago I simply proposed the idea of a cage and she was straight ok, I like that idea! We have reinvented our sex life and it has worked, we have intimacy that works for us, she has discovered her dominant side and embraced it and here we are, honestly I’ve never been happier and it has become a major part of the glue that keeps us together and strong. She took one other step, on her own which I respect her for very much…she is now more glamorous, sexy and attractive to me than ever. She dresses sexier, she visits the Salon every week, nails…etc, always kept immaculate. She knows I love it and appreciate it but she then told me she did it as much for her as me. She said, I can’t control what happened to me, I can’t control my hormones, but this I can control and there is no way I’m becoming some invisible woman!! It also gave her more power to control me too.
    Now, reading through the comments on here you could just think I’m a lucky bastard and yeah, I am. But the one thing this always hinged on was communication…honest and sometimes painful communication. Don’t give up, if you still love your partner or wife, gently persist, be frank, always avoid being whiney and let me know how it feels and how you feel towards them.
     
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  15. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Beautiful story, and wonderful that you feel so fortunate. You and your wife went through hell and back ... so glad you both came through smiling.
     
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  16. CagedandhisQueen
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    Thanks, we did come through it smiling and in the process we both finally found our true natures too…
     
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  17. Tarknassus
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    Tarknassus Wordy chastity nerdery.

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    My wife underwent a total hysterectomy 14 years ago, just before we married... Once we'd been through the surgical menopausal hell that is sorting out the right levels of HRT, trialling testosterone treatments, etc, things have stabilised. I went through a huge and bad depressive period which saw me on some powerful antidepressants that killed my emotions/libido everything. I'm now off them, and we're picking up the pieces of our love life.

    She's still got some sexual interest and desire - in part I'd say it's enhanced by chastity play - with tease/denial, keeping things hot outside the bedroom, etc. So we're working on that. It's unlikely I'll have PIV sex again, although she's prepared to give it a go at some point.

    It definitely changed the dynamics of our relationship, and our expectations of what we can do shifted as well. Compounded by having a major organ removed, the physicality of things change.

    At least she's still got the desire there - even if the libido is waning, she seems to think it's more down to our inaction of recent years and that building things up slowly (which we're doing) will help fuel that further. Just going to take time...

    She's definitely become more dominant and possessive since the beginning of chastity play, and it's helped her come out of the shell of sexual expectation (raised a hardline 'fire and brimstone' family, and was simply expected to fulfil the desires of her husband with no regard to her own - something I am the opposite ;)). Last time we were doing this, it was at the stage of her 'owning' my cock in it's entirety which for me is hot as heck.

    I'm not rushing back into it with her - we're at a stage of just rediscovering everything and I'm aware we need to keep things light and fun rather than what we've done before. We're both very optimistic for some form of intimate future now we understand our physical limitations and expectations. Plus she's looking forward to KH'ing again.
     
  18. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    #68 gingers_sub, Mar 30, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2022
    Question..

    How do you deal with a woman going through menopause?
    My wife was always so wonderful but over the last two years she can be bat shit crazy.
    She will fly off the handle and start a huge fight with Zero reason, right out of the blue.
    Im never right. No words that come out of my mouth are ever correct. Treats me like a child.
    Ive become very depressed. As soon as i think things are turning around she makes me feel so horrible.

    Its not always like this but i dont see any improvement on the horizon.
     
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  19. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Patience and timing and luck are all required.

    First, you need patience to wait for the appropriate times to discuss, and to survive the duration of however long it takes to get through this. And of course you need patience to be gracious throughout the course of this.

    Second, you need timing to get the necessary conversation happening when it is both appropriate and welcome. At some point, unless this magically fixes itself, you are going to need to work through these issues with your wife. But don't do it when she is obviously struggling with whatever it is; wait for the good times when she is open to constructive conversation, and then make sure you are supportive and constructive.

    Third, you need a bit of luck. Sometimes problems don't magically fix themselves, and they may resist all attempts for fixing them -- even if everyone involved agrees on the need to fix them!

    So good luck ... the other two are up to you.
     
  20. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    This is going to be a long story but it does have a pretty good ending.

    My wife (who is no longer my wife) didnt need menopause to be a bitch, but thinking back it was probably menopause that tiped us over. She asked for a divorce and I simply said...OK. Ironically as this became closer to becoming a reality she changed her mind and sudenly wanted sex. It was too late, the horse had bolted. One thing I dont understand was her want to have sex was real because she was wet, I used my mouth to get her off, i refused to give her my dick, if I had of no doubt i would have become addicted to her again and I wouldn’t have escaped. The part I dont understand was that for yeas she would refuse me sex saying she just did not feel like it, so it wasnt just hormones something clicked in her head. We did play with chastity earlier on in he marriage but it didn’t really help us other than to make me want her even more.

    My current partner went into menopause about a year after we met. And things we went through a very hard time, we nearly split up, having no children together and not being married and not living together means well why would someone put up with that shit. Love sucks sometimes, the things you will put up with just for love. We still had sex and played with Chasity, but it was no longer fun for her, and we had sex I think really just to stay together...and the frequency fell to sometimes 3 months. But really it was the mood swings that was worse. In some respects, chastity made things worse because when i couldn’t masturbate I just got horny and then i would become a pest, then when she behaved badly I would resent her even more if i was in chastity. Eventually I would sometimes cheat, the cage I had then it was possible to shake to a reasonable orgasm, and in some ways this outlet made the dynamic bearable, I always felt terrible after and I would end up telling her(some of the time) but I sort of felt it was something i had to do. The device I have now it too small to shake and its impossible to cheat except using her wand which when I get that really horny feeling ill lock it in a kitchen timer timed to unlock only when she is here.

    We took a very long break from chastity and the lifestyle.

    Eventually she started HRT and that helped enormously with the hot flushes and mood swings, and her sex drive while very low, she would have sex more regularly mainly I think to keep us close together. I am lucky my partner understands that sexual intimacy is as important as love itself in a relationship. I have always said to her as long as she makes an effort then I am ok, its when I am taken for granted and forgotten that ill get itchy feet.

    We did do chastity off and on but found it still didn’t really work for us if I am honest. But I never stopped thinking about it.

    More recently about 7 months ago she started using testosterone cream called androfeme after I read findings that while HRT addresses the female hormones none of the HRT therapies address the drop in testosterone. That in replacing the testosterone, not only does it help to restore sex drive but also helps with the feeling of wellness and drive, also offsets decalcification of the bones. I am VERY lucky that my partner will consider such things. My ex wife would NEVER even consider HRT, she was flat out taking paracetamol let alone a male hormone even if the dose is the dose for women.

    We have found this has helped a LOT, but not so much with sex drive but it has certainly without a doubt helped. Now we have sex about once every 7-10 days, and she no longer sees it as a chore which is awesum. We started with chastity again about 3 months ago, and we are talking a lot more about evil things she would like to do to me. I get paddled a lot more often now at least 2 times per week, which my being recognises as sexual attention. Very shortly for the first time in years I will be giving my partner a orgasm while I will have none. My previous record for denial has been 3 weeks some 5 years ago. More recently 2 but the end came traditional sex.

    We are now talking about new records, and I believe I can do this as long as we keep the intimacy alive and I get to give her pleasure, she is fine with me using a strap on over the top of my cage.

    Our aim is to hit 3 months which should cure my addiction to orgasms and hopefully I can then be the partner I have always wanted to be for her and focus on her happiness for real instead of that inner monster demanding a release for myself. I would ultimately consider permanent denial just not sure if i could do it.

    The moral is if you love your partner, talk it through and if you can do that you can work things out especially if you both want to.
     
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  21. nevio
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    nevio New member

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    I joined this forum a little over a year ago. I introduced myself as a man who doesn't have sex with his wife. The wife is not interested in sex, is going through menopause and is taking antidepressants. We are both 47 years old. But last year, we went back to the idea of male chastity. We haven't practiced this in a very long time. However, my joy was short-lived, because after a few months the subject died a natural death again. My chastity cage is no longer important to my wife. She had lost interest in it, which was barely smoldering anyway. We began to be tormented by the problems of everyday life. There were misunderstandings and blaming each other for everything wrong with our marriage. My disappointment with the relationship was enormous. The quarrels escalated until we decided to divorce. I went abroad for a few weeks. When I got home, my wife offered me PIV. I was very surprised, because I hadn't experienced PIV with her in a very long time. She told me that she was turned on by the knowledge that we were breaking up and that I had suddenly become sexually attractive to her. It was one of the best PIVs I've ever had. However, I'm afraid it was a one-off. We promised each other that we would get back together and there would be no divorce. The topic of male chastity has not yet returned.
     
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