Chastity and will power?

My key is really available to me most all the time. I do not unlock.

This is voluntary and I asked for this. Why would I cheat?

That being said, there is a degree of thrill and submission to being unable to remove the cage vs unwilling to, and in acknowledge that.

 

I believe I could pull out the back of my cage, not sure I could stuff it back in though. I can also get relief from using a wand on my cage. I don’t cheat during a lockup because I am having fun with this and asked my Wife to play this way and she decides what happens.
Now if she said I’m locked for months at a time, I don’t know, I’d probably have to look at getting a PA piercing or have a spiked anti pullout made for my MCN cage, and the wand locked up. As I can’t imagine keeping my horniness under control beyond a month lol

 

I have access to the key all the time and could get the cage off by other means if I desired to. We also practiced orgasm control before we had a cage and I was also compliant with that. I gave my cock and my key to my KH and aim to live true to my promises. An orgasm isn't worth the guilt of letting down my KH and devaluing my promise to her.

 

The submission you feel when you are completely powerless is different that when you theoretically *could* get out whenever you wanted.

I'm pierced in a steel cage with a tamper proof metal serial numbered clam shell running through my lock. So even if I could get the key, I wouldn't be able to use it without cutting the tamper proof clam shell. There's no pulling out, no tampering with the lock. I literally don't get out unless she let's me out.

And... the key is locked in an electric numbered safe in one of my wife's drawers.

It's not about letting my keyholder down, it's about giving up complete control to her will.

 

I don’t have any access to the keys, I wear a custom 3D printed device that has a double lock, and my tube is fully spiked, if I try to pull out my cock would be shredded. But that being said it is only plastic, so 5 mins in the tool ahead and I could have the device off, but my relationship with madam would be over, it’s not so much admiring helpless to a device, but being helpless to your key holder/wife/owner.

 

I clearly struggle with some degree of self-control when unlocked. (I'm currently out of the device to let a spot on my scrotum heal, and I was disobedient last night). I don't think I've been locked long enough when I am in the cage to have gone for the back-up key. Having said that, I think it is a little situational. Right now I am working from home full-time and the wife isn't. If I were in the office full time again I'd had much less opportunities to let the mind wander during the day and get focused on trying to get out. (And no access to the key when at work.).

In a previous career I was a practicing physician. (In IT now). Most health problems are ones of lifestyle. How hard is it to not go for the key? I don't know. How hard is it to lose weight and exercise when you know that's the best thing for you? I can tell you from fairly broad experience, it's *very* hard! I suspect this forum (due to its nature) has a higher percentage of people that have beaten the fairly steep odds at being good. Asking this group as opposed to asking a general sample would give vastly different answers. It would be like going to the gym to ask how hard is it to exercise regularly as opposed to asking random people on the street.

 

When I'm unlocked I masturbate. A lot more than I should. I've tried not to, and I can pull a streak of a day or two off, but usually not longer than that. My will power to keep my hands off my dick are not great (and probably worse since I'm usually caged ... so uncaged times are rare and special ).

When I'm locked up, I theoretically have access to my "emergency" keys, but they're in a small wooden box that's been hot-glued shut - as in I can smash the box in an emergency, but at the cost of destroying it. Doing this unnecessarily will likely irritate my wife.

I do know that it's almost impossible to pull out of this custom 3D cage, I've tried a few times and the closest I got was still not *quite* there, but maybe under certain circumstances I could do it with some (or a lot of) patience. I doubt I could go back in the cage afterwards, though.

I've cum while in the cage by using a vibrator on it. But I'm not fond of cumming that way - it's uncomfortable, unsatisfying and pretty messy to clean up. And I'm usually still pretty horny afterwards so it doesn't help there either.

But these things I don't do anymore ... I think I'm at an equilibrium, where my will power is sufficient to prevent me from actively thwarting the cage, mostly because the ways to thwart it are kind of difficult or pointless. That equilibrium point is going to be different for everyone, I'm sure.

 

Of course the cage is a symbol, and little more. It's the theater of the fantasy.

If one truly desired to be chaste, one would be chaste. No need for the trappings of a cage.

The cage enhances the notion that one can't help one's self. One must be caged. The control, the humiliation, the desire, the tease, so near, yet so far, controlled by a woman who believes one's dirty habits are too terrible to be left without intervention. It's ego. It's self-importance. I'm such a problem, I must be locked up. I matter.

But not to everyone.

To others, It's something entirely different. And yet to others, even something else again. Perhaps a thousand different reasons, or more.

Can a man control himself? Of course. Does he want to? Perhaps it's a reminder. Perhaps the cage is a tease, a turn-on, a tactile reminder. Perhaps he doesn't get the sex he'd like, and the cage is the substitute...if I'm not getting sex, then I'll go a different route and lock it up. Perhaps it's a token between two people, an offering, or a power play . Perhaps a toy. Perhaps its her toy, or perhaps he's her toy. Perhaps she wants him to wear it, or perhaps the cage is merely a vehicle for two people to play a game. Perhaps it's a life long commitment by him, or her, or them. Perhaps it's the next step, an evolution of something else, perhaps a means of expressing submission. Hard to say. Many motives, many means.

I can control myself. I don't know if I want to. I can when I want to. But, as a girlfriend many years ago observed, everyone likes a little help. There's a very different dynamic between masturbation, and sex with a partner. The impact and meaning of locking one's self up, or simply saying, "no," is not at all the same as being locked up and told, "no."

My wife couldn't care less if I masturbate. She coiuldn't care less if I'm chaste. Our sex is infrequent, and most of the time, I don't think she could care much if we have sex. As she tend to remind me, "it's more important to you, than to me." Such is life. If she participates, whether it's by tolerating, or by wearing a key as she has on occasion, it's a kindness on her part. She's patronizing me for my benefit, not hers, and she knows it. I know it, too. I can control myself. I'm not sure if I want to. She can control me. She doesn't really want to.

But that's not really the point. I'd like her to. Should she do so, it's not for her. It's her gift, to me.

 

There are almost as many different types of chastity guys as there are foot fetishists, so think kink means different things for different people. Some are into total loss of control; they ideally have a Prince Albert to make pullout impossible. Some see it as a means of emasculation/ sissification. For other, like me, it is just a tool to give up control voluntarily. Yes, I have my key, but it would be cheating myself if I used it.

 

This is my wife and me 100%. You've done a good job of stating something I've not been able to describe nearly as well. Thank you for that.

 

Yep!

Nope!

Anything longer than a week or two is usually against my will.

 

It is a rare man that has felt the "call to action" and not done something about it. I'm not saying it happens every time or even most times but it does happen.

Whether it is self-pleasure or cheating on a spouse/girlfriend the sexual drive is strong and worst of all very persistent. Sure I can control myself but there are times when I'm in the mood, my wife isn't there or isn't available and masturbation is just easier. Check the box.

Do I want to create an entire sexual world that doesn't include my wife? Well, no. When I was traveling 3-5 days a week and in hotel rooms more nights than I was in our bed, I built up a lot of little masturbatory fantasies because I was alone, horny and there was no check on that desire other than to satisfy it.

I eventually changed jobs but with kids, tired Mom and busy schedules it was still easier to scratch my own itch and a lot of people here can guess what happens over time. We were more in line with being parents than lovers and while sex drive falls as you age, it doesn't fall as fast in men as it does in women... she was fine, maybe another night.

Chastity was another of my fantasies until I started reading about it and what happens in the real world with real people. When the man is re-focused on the woman it materially changes the relationship for the better. The downside for her is that I'm a pest at times, the upside for us is that I really want to be with her, touch her, bask in her presence and generally resist my own desires.

Back to the original question... can I (me) do this without being imprisoned in a stainless steel cage? No, not very well. The last time she allowed me out of the cage, she wasn't insistent about locking me back up and it took me two days to rub one out alone. It felt wonderful, I had a true feeling of ecstasy and it was an opportunity to get another O. It was also disappointing because that was not what she signed up for, I wasn't what I agreed to and after feeling weak for another two days, I locked up again.

Could I cheat and put a vibrator to the cage - sure but I haven't done that. Could I pull out the back? Maybe but this cage is tight and I don't want to try. The cage is a civilizing influence for me regardless of what it is for other people. I'm sure it is a fetish, I'm sure I could do better if I was more disciplined, I'm sure if life were simple and hormones didn't surge I'd be fine.

Let's just go with... it works for me.

 

I self lock, so control is a large part of making chastity work for me. It is usually easy to stay that way, but i do think if i had a KH it would help. For reference i've only cum 7 times this year. Which seems low to me, but the way it is working so far.