Are there disadvantages/cons to chastity

Maybe not a con but most of the time it’s the male who starts chastity. Remember you are bring your partner into YOUR Fantasy. It may take a while for them to truly get involved.

 

Just a couple of thoughts.
1. Long term wear without having a good fitting cage and meticulous hygiene is bad for many reasons. And trying to go long term with the wrong cage can easily cause health issues.
2. Quite frankly it takes a change in mind-set of the KH to be a good one. And it takes effort, and quite frequent effort on their part to keep the man interested in continuing to play. "Locked and forgot" can be devastating to a relationship if their is uneven expectations on involvement. Men have frequently had the fantasy playing out in their minds for years, and that's a lot to put upon a partner that's just finding out about it.

 

Cost - Especially if it takes a while and number of tries to find the right device . And even then sizes and shape seem to change over time.

yep @Wishful Husband, agree it can put an extra pressure on relationships - especially getting through all the 'fantasy' part. However, if you get it right, and can build in a way that both parties and work and deal with I think can be over come. It's also that bit of working out the balance between 'locked and forgot' and it not being a 24/7 admin overhead .

Not looking forward to winter and the cold that may be... challenging.

 

In many cases, reality not equaling fantasy.

I know when I first started exploring chastity, I had visions that my wife would suddenly become this sex craved vixen, demanding oral or toys constantly while teasing / edging me to the point of frustration. Reality was that whilst there were a few times this occured, for the most part it was just life as normal.

Not having access to your penis -

Again, the fantasy of your cock being locked up is alluring, but the reality is that (from time to time) the device is uncomfortable, it pinches at skin, ring burn is a thing and whilst you learn about hygiene and cleanliness, it can smell a little funky too (nothing will put off a keyholders desire to tease you faster than a smelly scrotum). There is also something instinctual about being able to feel yourself, not necessarily full on masturbation, but that feeling of holding your penis while you pee, or feeling your erection in your hand, all that is gone when you lock up.

A sense of loss from our KH -

Does your KH like your penis? Is locking it up actually depriving them of something they enjoy?
One of Mrs Sens dislikes of chastity is that she likes my penis, she likes feeling it, playing with it, sucking it and fucking it. Granted, its on her time schedule, but nonetheless, when its caged she feels like its been taken away. Of course a KH is well within their rights to unlock and use the penis anytime they wish, but there is a sense of obligation (part of chastity play) to entertain the lockup to maintain the hornyness of the man which conflicts with her desires.

A sense of isolation -

This is something I feel from time to time, not necessarily from Mrs Sen, but when I am in a group of other men in a social setting. Knowing your penis is locked away and "no longer yours" gives me a different mind set when with other men, almost like I'm less than them. This isn't constant but does occur and something I need to be mindful of.

My 2c worth
Sen

 

One thing I have never been a fan of is trying to get my skin adjusted to wearing them. Whenever I think I have it down perfect, another problem always pops up, lol.

 

Curiously, I would log this in the 'pros' column.

 

Masturbation is fun and orgasms feel good.

I sort of miss them.

Can it be counted as a negative thing?

Too bad one cannot both eat the cake and save it.

 

Cons: Unable to orgasm; losing one's mind from same.

 

Oh goodness yes.

Negatives...

1. Loss of control over erections and orgasms.
   
2. Loss of productivity for the first <however many weeks>
3. Irritability from being horny.
4. Flatlining and depression.
   
5. Hygiene issues.
   
6. Being a whiney attention seeking man.
7. Waking up 17 times with throbbing caged erections.
8. Lack of sleep for the first <however many days/weeks>
   
9. Crouching down to pick something up and a testicle getting squished in the wrong way...makes me feel sick thinking about it.
10. Total loss of sex drive after a while.
11. Sex drive coming back with a venegence at unexpected times.
12. Lack of erection for weeks/months leading to negative feelings towards oneself.
13. Can't pee behind a tree like you used to.
14. Being unable to slide your hard cock into her warm and wet pussy, and to share that gasp with her.
15. No blowjobs
    
16. Feeling like the colour and taste from the world has been sucked out of it.
17. Feeling like you might orgasm at any time is often inconvenient.
18. Being out and having a tiny fraction of a sexual thought which results in throbbing in the cage and then having to pretend like you are still listening while trying to Zen your erection attempt away ... Ommmmmmm.
    
19. Tight trousers are too tight.

None of the above seems to last too long, thank goodness.

Before anyone jumps in and says it's all sad blah blah I hasten to add that not everyone will experience the above, and none of the above negates the positives (for us at least, so far).

 

How curious. I think some of these downsides are known to all chaste guys to some extent and one might argue they are part of the game. However for me personally, they are managable and can be fun in a way. What is not always managable is the energy and attention it takes to deal with the ups and downs.

I'm in my mid 30ies and building a carrer, working on my relationship, fitness, mindset. Additionally I have some interests I want to persue outside of the bedroom. Not even children yet. Especially when stuff gets complicates in my job, I need all my power and attention to keep things afloat. If I can't sleep for 3 nights straight because I'm horny and my dick is locked, I'm unable to get my job done.

So for me the biggest downside is that it takes a lot of attention and energy. Especially if you are not retired and your body and mind only gets used to not getting it's dick used very slowly. I'd love to play around with it more, but for me it is always a balancing act between having this kind of fun and getting hard work done. No time for being tired or day dreaming about my girls butt.

Am I alone with this? To me this is the most obvious downside.

 

Not much to add, except to agree with vanilla chaste 2. Staying focused while at work when I'm a horny leaking mess, is very difficult. Which results in worry and anxiety about losing my performance based job. I suppose part of the process is learning to refocus those thoughts. Not an easy task with my hardwired male brain that thinks about sex constantly.
Also, the transition from being dominant to being submissive is a process. The control in our marriage was pretty even, except in the bedroom. I was dominant there. If I wanted sex, I got it however I wanted it. Her job requires her to be in charge all day long. Coming home and letting me take control was a relief to her. When that dynamic flipped, it was totally new to us. Unenjoyable at times, amazing at times. It's been a learning experience for both of us. It's taken some time, but she's the boss at work, now the boss at home and we are enjoying every minute of it.

 

We live in a subjective reality and my good and bad are unrelated to yours, and indeed next week/month/year the good of today is the bad of then, and vice versa.

So the answer to your 100 points question is always "Yes, no, and maybe."

 

Yep this sums it up very well, and the ball squishing bit..... Is an absolute twat on a motorbike

 

well i think that the thingy that a man wont like first is that he cant make his willy go big and hard no more cos the cage stop that. and as well he cant make him spurt cos lots of men like do that. all he can do is little dribble. and if he wanting more he has ask the person who has got the key. but he must have let the person lock him up so its his fault anyways.

 

Along the lines of what JaySaysYes wrote, you're liable to get 10 different answers to this, if you ask 10 different people. Or even just ask 1 person, at 10 different times.

You ask me two days ago, I'd say the benefits outweigh the cost. You ask me 2 hours ago, I'd say it's not close and I hate it, and I'm over it. Right now, I'm feeling better so it's not so bad again.

Which leads me to another potential con: Possible ridiculous mood swings like being a damn teenager again. lol. It can be an interesting rollercoaster.

 

Spot on. I forget the duality of it.

"So horny, I hope she adds on another month" and then five mins later "So horny, I want this shit over and when she gets here this cage is coming off".

It's not so much a test of will over the horny, it's a test will over the thoughts. It's a wide awake, walking talking, meditation exercise. Staying focused while the world around is on fire is a handy skill to master.

 

I'm in charge on a building site. I Don't feel less than other men, I feel superior to them. I have a secret to a happy life, that they could only dream of. And we are nearly totally vanilla. Sucks to be them. Stuck in their stale relationships, pissed off when the missus isn't putting out. When my wife isn't putting out, I thank her, and try to make her more content. Really sucks to be them. I haven't come in over a week, and I thank my wife for it. They are the weak ones as far as I'm concerned. I am her Knight and she is my Queen. Other wives would be so jealous of Mrs Jah. If only they knew!

 

definitely agree with this! The ball squishing is the worst aspect! I am now in the habit of getting down on my knees to do tasks at a lower hight rather than bending over. However my madam says me being on my knees more is a good thing!

 

Great question and I agree with many of the responses.

I definitely identify with the mood swings issue.

Whilst I've found it unbelievably hot to be denied for weeks on end, I sometimes think my mental health benefits from an occasional orgasm - both to calm me down and relieve the pressure. I've been locked for most of 2021 but had a few weeks out of the cage around early September. I quickly went back to regular orgasms and damned that felt good, and I found it helped relieve the stresses of daily life. Of course, part of the thrill of being locked is that constant arousal, but I can actually find it draining at times.

Personally, I'm coming to the conclusion that around three to four weeks locked, and then a break for a week or two, is the best of both worlds - and balances the pros and cons. But each of us will be different.

 

You can still masturbate (of a sort) and orgasm while caged. It's just different.

 

One downside for me is that we were not meant to have a rigid body encasing our genitals, so it kind of hurts when you sit down or something and everything gets pressed against your soft tissue. Long drives are a good example of this. I squirm to get comfortable, and not in the fun sexual tension sort of way, but just the damnable pain of the ring digging against my thighs.

 

I agree with the "bending down" can sometimes be uncomfortable, you have to be aware of what you're about to do and be careful.

I'll also say that it can sometimes be tiring to be locked up, mentally. In that there are situations where I'm not necessarily worried per se of people finding out, but where I need to be a little extra careful. Crowded rooms, parties, when swimming, with my young nieces and nephews who could do something unexpected. It can be a bit of a drain.

And omg yes the mood swings. On top of them just happening, there's also something about getting rejected by my wife that's just worse than it used to be. Especially if we were planning some sexy fun time and get interrupted or she gets extra tired or isn't feeling well and it doesn't happen. Those times are more devastating now I think then they were pre-chastity.

 

Have you ever seen that graph of the tangent function in math, where it's headed straight for positive infinity, and then suddenly there's a dotted line and it shows up near negative infinity and rising?

It's kind of like that. Day one, neutral. Start of day two, ok, but fading. End of day two, hard. Day three, really bad. At some point it flips and pops out the other side, and all is good in the universe. The cage helps it to flip faster, so it's a good thing. Waiting for it to flip? Not so good.

Still learning.