Why do we want male chastity to be normalised...

I agree!

 

Personally, I"d take offense at being branded "queer" because of a cage. Not remotely in the same hemisphere.

As for pride and parades...fuck that.

As for "demiboy," the etymology of which is half-boy, or by inference, half-man, it's a ridiculous generalization. Putting a cage on one's genitalia does not alter one's sex or gender, make one any less of a man, or make one a boy. If one chooses to identify as something else, that's up to him or her....but chastity is not at all the same thing as being half a man or half boy, or whatever other flavor of the day might be.

Branding those who engage in chastity as "queer" is not a step forward, nor is attempting to tie chastity to "queer."

 

Even that feels like a slippery slope. Plus at least some chastity wearers like to be locked most of time but are happy to be men and pound their partner into a blissed-out jelly when unlocked.

 

It can depend on the context and definition of queer.

In NZ, "queer" can simply mean odd or bizzare when used in the right context / way, and in the context of a man locking away his penis, "queer" would actually fit nicely. Ofcourse with all the political correctness and social justice warriors out to crucify anyone who uses any form of speech that might mildly upset their delicate nasal passages, its use has greatly reduced.

I don't think I would personally take offence at being called queer for wearing a cage (and in the context that someone would hurl that as an attack, it would most likely mean gay not odd) as its simply not accurate, being denied access to my penis doesn't mean I want access to someone elses.

 

Chastity as a sexual connotation (as opposed to a secular non-sexual connotation) perhaps most closely identifies with female led, or female dominated relationships, which if anything, is more of a heterosexual (though not always, of course) power dynamic.

Chastity, of course, can be practiced by anyone, and isn't relegated to male-only, as a sex or gender, and can be and is practiced by transgender, sissification, and any number of others who might find it appropriate.

I'm sitting at a computer at the moment with a cage on my genitalia; my wife doesn't particularly care and wouldn't notice unless I'm passing through from the shower. Even then, she wouldn't say anything, or much care. I may wear the device out and about (just did), in a similar fashion to the way any other undergarment might be worn, whether it's blousers to hold a uniform shirt down, or any other non-apparent item one could wear without the public being any the wiser. Though far less of a problem for me today, a caged and organized down-under is less obtrusive, doesn't cause embarrassment at inopportune times, or catch in the underwear fly in a way that requires adjustment or that might cause an awkward bulge. Far from a kink, I may wear it simply as a private organizer. No gender implication, no sexual identity, just a device that's little different from a wrist brace or an ace bandage wrapped about the knee. Except that this one is locked on my dick.

Chastity is something different to everyone; no doubt there are as many reasons and ways to practice it as there are practitioners, given that it's personal, and subjective. For me, it's associated with deferral to my wife. Neither of us are particularly submissive in nature. She likes to micromanage, and I'm merely an asshole. We argue. We fight. We spar. It became apparent to me some time ago that if a prearrangement might be made; a decision settled in peacetime that coiuld be applied at war, we could avoid many of the arguments and live a happier life. What if someone were pre-decided to be right; each might have his or her say, but in the end, the final word has to belong to someone; why not her? Would that not be the chivalrous thing?

The concept extends; a many who defers in the interest of peace may seek to listen more closely, to avoid the conflicts early, and if he does that, might be well advised to focus on her service. The follow-on to that has many possible levels, one or many of which may include chastity as an integral component. I submit that such an arrangement is the polar opposite of kink or queer, trending as closely to "vanilla" as one might be.

In our insular and boring world, there's little adventure, little excitement, virtually no sex, and we simply live our lives, most often apart due to my commitments abroad. We do practice the chastity in varying shades that range from apathy to entertainment, to occasional, without any apparent consistency or direction. One might be forgiven for thinking us not serious, and one might at times be right. Rather than classify or quantify, I try to maintain as even a keel as I can, and simply steer the boat according to the winds and the waves. The goal isn't so much the thrill of the sea, but to minimize damage to the hull and to make the ride as bearable as possible, for all aboard.

One man's wall is another man's bulkhead; what constitutes my world may be foreign to another. That in mind, a broad classification like "queer" might apply to some who practice and embrace, but to others such as my self, wholly inappropriate.

To brand chastity as a societal fringe that constantly fights for recognition and marches to show pride, would be to paint the subject with a weighted brush.

Chastity wil have arrived at acceptability when the wife can call the boss on the phone and say, "Mr. Chevers, Bob forgot his cage this morning. When he gets in, would you kindly turn him around and send him home to put it on? Thanks so much." When the boss replies, "But, of course, Ms. Barrow. As you wish," The circle is complete.

 

To be honest, I automatically assumed that you were equating rather than labeling in your descriptions from the OP.

I guess in the modern culture of perpetual outrage, one must articulate to a degree that is almost impossible to attain.

 

"...gay lunatics..." Do you want to take that back? It sounds like homophobia to me, on a website that welcomes all. No-one is suggesting parades it's just a discussion, a sharing of ideas. @HusbandX always have to take it to the extreme don't you.

 

I do get where you're coming from, but... It doesn't have to be homophobia-based. Be glad you've never heard what some of the gays - or lesbians or other non-straights - I know IRL have to say about some pride participants. I'll grant you that this isn't a topic to *vent* those emotions and that these emotions often *are* based on... limited tolerance... but I feel there's good chance he's simply quick to use strong language.

And as Robins toy mentioned, we do live on the verge of perpetual rage culture and that's not a good thing, so maybe we should try to fight back and not go nuclear when encountering colorful language.

 

Ah, dismissal. The modern answer to everything.

The 3 d's: diminish, disparage, dismiss.

It's not a valid perspective, after all. Just outrange. Nailed all three in one shot. Well done.

 

For me at least I think a benefit to it becoming mainstream would be that because chastity is one of the furthest extensions of male submission and/or FLR, that would become more normalized. I honestly think one of the only things holding it back is the fact that 99% of femdom sexual content caters to men rather than women, and it gives FLR the image that its only to be monetized or practiced with a prodomme instead of with your partner. I think if there was greater emphasis as to how this lifestyle benefits and empowers women rather than appealing to a laundry list of porn induced fantasies, we'd see a surge in interest.

 

I may be a bit basic in my thinking but I'd love it to be more mainstream because it would make it so much easier to talk to our partners about . I certainly wouldn't want to discuss it with our friends down the pub as it will always be an intensely personal and private matter . A wider knowledge of chastity and it benefits can only be a good thing . I might feel a little less embarrassed talking to my wife about it and be more comfortable discussing it . We have been together for 27 years but I still feel uncomfortable about it as does my wife , neither one of us wants me to be seen as less manly . I'd like it to be seen as a positive. More exposure of the subject in a non kinky way can only be a good thing .

 

The simple act of saving yourself for when your wife needs you. That's what I want to see go mainstream. The mechanism that couples use to achieve this is the private part. Whether chastity or self-control are used is irrelevant.

Imagine a world, not of chastity, but one where men are brought up to know that too much masturbation, in a marriage is wrong. And that putting their ladies sexual needs above their own is more satisfying than any wank. To trust the nurturing qualities of their S/O to lead their relationship. Not in any domme/sub kind of way but leading a team/partnership/family.

 

I will try to address the original topic.

I'm not so much an advocate for chastity being main stream, but rather for it being accepted. In our relationship, my Wife and I understand that me being locked up has positive benefits for each of us individually and for our marriage. It's not for everyone. It's not right for a majority of couples. But for some couples, it's a very positive life habit.

I would like to be able to discuss those benefits and even suggest it to others in a honest and frank way, and that's not remotely possible when discussing device-enforced chastity.

What I certainly would like to see become mainstream is an acceptance of Wife Led marriage. It's tough on my Dominant Wife and it's tough on me. Women tend to be catty and don't like her, and men look at me as a weak-kneed wimp who probably wears a skirt at home (ok, I do sometimes, and I do have shaved legs, so maybe not a great metaphor lmao).

Anyway back on topic. WLM can be had without chastity devices or physical punishments of any form of femdom or BDSM, and these relationships can be healthy and amazing and full of love. And THAT should be mainstream.

 

It's about taking away any stigma relating to how, in female/male relationship, it is often better if the husband follows at home, and more significantly how it actually takes a strong (personalitywise) man to accept leadership from others in certain aspects of life.

Choosing chastity makes me feel more powerful than lesser men (the unchaste).

They will never experience the joys of, what feels like at the end of 2 weeks of foreplay, that makes Sting seem like a premature ejaculator.

I feel sorry for them. They are the weak ones, pissed at "the wife", "her indoors" for not putting out enough. Pulling their dicks daily, till sex feels dulled by over-masturbation. Knowing deep down that they dishonour themselves and the lady who probably still loves them anyway. Feeling guilty about their feelings and don't know what to do about it.

Hell! I'm speaking from experience here guys. It was me. It is me. Chastaholics Anonymous please help save me from myself!

If the benefits had been known to me years ago, I can't help wondering if I would have been a better father, and my boys be more respectful of their mother sometimes. I could've been a better example over the years.

So I guess I wish that chastity wasn't seen as a kink. Because the device, in itself isn't kinky. It is the play you have with your partner that makes it naughty, but not necessarily kinky.

 

It's a very good point. I don't condone the pro market, but it is not where it would benefit families and society most. The normalising of too much masturbation in marriage being seen to be unhelpful, would be the catalyst for the increase in cage use. Then because of the weaknesses of men and their obsession with their own cocks, cage use would naturally become the norm. Maybe.

 

I think it reinforces the false idea that female domination is a specialized skill, and that male domination over women is and should still be the norm. it removes women unlocking (ha ha) their potential dominant side out of the equation because so much of femdom/chastity still largely caters to exclusively men. which also largely defeats the purpose of this lifestyle. if we were to orient this type of relationship into a way that is more open and attractive to women's needs and sensibilities rather than just a man's, i think many people would be surprised with how many women would like to be dominant for themselves.

 

I don't want to give my wife the impression that I am expecting her to become some leather clad dominatrix with our own dungeon. The overwhelming stuff you might find with a Google search isn't helpful. It took a while to find the right kind of stuff for her to read. She's just a normal girl with a wild, in need of control, husband she loves very much. And she's helping us both get the best out of each other.

 

Don't worry. Giver her some time and she won't be relying on your guidance for what to read

Once her confidence starts to bloom, it's game over for you.

Trust me.

 

Thank you for this one, indisputable, admission.

I'm sure that pompous would have fit nicely as well.

But it's not always polite to brag aboutone'sattributes, so I understand why you left that one out!

Bravo!

 

Ah. I see you're an asshole, too.

 

I honestly find your writings quite interesting, and sometimes insightful. It is such a pity that you seem to polarise the topic so often. We've all got a lot going on, I just hope you can find a way to chill out a bit, and not take things so seriously. I think there is a nice bloke in there somewhere, I'd rather meet him. We're not all so different, you know. You love and respect your wife, just like most of the rest of us, love your family, get pissed at the world around us.

 

I have honestly wanted to stay out of this because of what this thread turned into. A large part because of Mr. X. And several other topics here for that matter. Interesting and insightful can be very nice. Though the rest, can be quite exhausting.

To the topic at hand, I’d like to see it a bit more mainstream just so it isn’t such a chore at times. Hiding in the woods to pee while hiking/biking can be quite a pain! If it was more acceptable, or at least known, I may not feel as inclined to hide it. And the work that goes with hiding it at times.