New Keyholder Advice/Tips?

It should help her to get verified on here with L-U-C-Y. Then she can chat with the other key holders herseo

 

Time, for starters is the best teacher. You are obviously into it, but getting her to a point that it has value, of some degree takes time and experience.

I havent read the book, due mostly to being someone as a submissive who feels that knowing what it contains is not of any real benefit. I think we can safely say that as subs, we all prefer to not know in advance as to what will happen to us. So, in your case, I would advise not pre-reading it for her.

No offense to the fine folks at CM, but as a first step, bringing her here and worrying about verifying her is only likely to add confusion. There isnt a ton a great resources here for KHs, there is a ton of material written by subs.

Start by engaging her in smaller amounts of time with it. Have fun, let her make some of the decisions, turn over the key, and be honest with her. Over time, with enough positive experiences, she will come around. The important part is for you to discover in it, what buttons she wants pushed as a result, and that's just not a cut and dried answer.

The book is a great idea, if she is willing. It's a start, and can help her see into the male psyche. Again, I havent read it, but females arent like men. They dont just devour this stuff. She needs a starting point, and a place without you hovering over her, to explore it.

Good luck.

M.

 

if she doesn’t want to chat, just get her to have a read through here for a bit.

 

My advice / tip would be ...
Make it all about her. Too many start off by making it all about them.
What's in it for her? If she's getting benefit, amusement, help around the house, not being continually pestered, ..., then she'll enjoy it, and she'll grow to love it.

That illustrates my point exactly. It's not down to a book, or to her, it's down to you to make her life more fun, she shouldn't have to think about it, you do!

A male chastity cage does little for a woman. What it does is help a man change his attention towards her. Until that happens, it's not working.

 

absolutley spot on . My wife has known of my interest in fem dom since we met and aware of my chastity desires for probably 15 yrs . Recently away on holiday we retired early for the evening and she saw my cage and asked how long I'd been wearing it for . This time round about 2 months , I explained that it keeps me from masturbating so as it doesn't reduce my libido . She hasn't embraced my chastity yet but she seems to enjoy how horny it makes me and now knows I wear it pretty much 24/7 ( as I have done for 2 years) . We both know it's only my kink but I think she can now see the benefits.

when it's all you can think about it's easy to forget that your partner doesn't get it and the temptation to selfishly rush her is all too great . Any partner introduced to this will need to see the benefits before they start showing an interest.

 

Personally, I’d stay away from some of the popular books… they are a bit too full-on and I think put my wife off quite a bit…

these are a good read:
https://denyingthumper.com/2015/07/15/why-in-the-hell/


https://denyingthumper.com/2015/08/05/keyholding-101/

https://lockedinlust.com/what-is-male-chastity/

 

Just communicate and be honest.

 

https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/tips.htm

 

That's a great link .

 

This is a great link, I am gonna save it for later!

 

That is so damn gold content! I am a newbie in chastity and oh boy...it just describes everything so simply but completely.

 

My KH/partner found this one inspiring

I'm trying to convice her to open a profile here and get verified.

 

I know this is off topic in the thread, but I would just show her the forums. Don't try to convince her!

 

You are right, not pushing for anything but we have regular conversations about all this now, this fits nicely into them

I'm so glad She is not only willing but genuinely interested to become a more active KH!

 

Thank you, this is a very fine page.

 

I bought one for my wife (I don’t know if it was this one but they are all pretty much the same) and I don’t think she ever read it. It is true in my case that I was a lot more enthused with all the reading stuff than her ( same for a lot of men) but it leads to expectation followed by frustration.

I would offer the KH two advices (my wife would but I doubt she would be happy on this (or any) site.

First she needs to demonstrate interest in the fact you are wearing the cage for her. This can be touching, talking just acknowledging on a regular basis. In our case she would ask to see it when I came down in morning, touch and feel it through my trousers when coming home, or sometimes ask me to sit with my pants off when watching TV ( and if I was lucky fondle it with her feet). When I had those midnight aches due to expansion she would silently just squeeze my hand as if to say it is okay. It doesn’t have to be all the tease and denial stuff, just acknowledgement so that you don’t get forgotten about and frustrated.

The second advice is that she decides when you are released and that is final. She needs to make it clear to you that you don’t ask, you don’t beg, you don’t whine - and if you do then you will be locked up even longer. Sometimes this means some (exciting) risks. I went to doctors, flew on airplanes, and went to swimming pool all caged when I thought I shouldn’t have been. Also very important after a release ( usually for sex in my case) the cage is put back on straight afterwards - clean up , ice up and lock up before going to sleep. This is the part of her being in control and this is what will change your behavior towards her in a positive way.