Contracts

Where do I sign

 

I like it. The only thing missing imho is the agreement about a safeword and frankly, although it is an exciting perspective, point 11 is debatable, subs should always be free to go but if they do the consequence is that they may not be able to enter in a contract again, so it's a high price to pay for leaving too easily.

The punishment section could be a bit more detailed with limits but you may already have negotiated that with the D/top.

I hope all is good for you
P.

 

This is just my opinion and I know it isn't for everyone, but this is my experience.

A lot of people on the site push me to the idea of having a contract with my wife for chastity, and she said sure let's do it... but I overall it wasn't needed & started to become a second thought. I don't think you need one, but it is an easy way of talking out your expectation with one another if communication is a struggle.

Wish you the best of luck with everything.

 

From what I have seen you do not need a written contract. Your love and devotion to your wife are your contract. Unlike a written contract, love allows for flexibility. As her needs change, your devotion to her and your awareness of her will make certain that everything you do is aimed at pleasing her and letting her lead you both to the best possible relationship.
Just my two cents worth.

 

Probably due to her researching, she was the one that brought up a contract. She didn’t like the word d contract and called it her “commandments”.

As someone stated above, it’s more of a tool for getting expectations across, I don’t think I’ve looked at ours in years, and frankly it changes.

The stuff she picked out were I think a nice mix of what she wanted, and what she thought I wanted.

1. stay locked unless given permission
2. No cumming without permission
3. Address her as Amante or mistress unless around others
4. Keep groomed, clean, and let her know if it hurts before injury occurs
5. Keep her informed of my headspace and desires
6. Lick her pussy and bottom either in the morning or that night
7. Take or follow instructions on pleasing her
8. Say good night and good morning (I didn’t always stay there then)
9. She may punish me for bad behavior or just because
10. She may tease, deny, humiliate me, dress a certain way, or anything she wants if she feels that my submissiveness needs a boost.

I think I got the order wrong but it is very close. We’ve added and taken away quite a bit. It’s now not really a contract but our own relationship standards which hardly needs writing down . It is fun though, mostly because it lets her be actively involved, wanting this, and removes doubt about doing certain activities.

 

My Wife and I have done contracts; two in fact. The reality is that total acceptance of her dominance and submission to her desires is the overriding thing. It’s not your fantasy and never will be. Oh, she will tolerate some of your fetishes and you will share mutual fantasies,,, but at the end of the day her will and desires are all that matters.

it’s never submission until you totally let go. I know for some men this is a bridge too far but the above is the central foundation of what makes our FLR work. The trick is that for someone to completely and utterly submit, you must completely and with no reservation trust that your Dominant will not abuse you and will always love and protect you. It’s a high bar.

 

Contracts are only useful when things go bad, contracts only keep honest people honest.

1) Please take my keys and deny me until I am a blubbering begging wreak and let me out for an erection no more than once every calendar month. Also, use me in sexual ways and probably chores or something (not sure about that last part) but aside that I promise to try not to whine too much if you can say something cute like "How's my locked cock doing?" every day

When a mans' cock is locked he might overthink things

 

If it works for you and your wife, then nothing is missing! We all have our own ideas of what should be on there, but what works for one, may not fit with another’s ideas. Try not to over think it all, and if you want a contact then get one!
It doesn’t matter If others are saying don’t bother, it’s not worth it, it what works for you.
I wrote up a contract between my madam and I for our bdsm flr before she discovered male chastity. I presented it to her printed out in very high grade paper and in a wooden box I had sourced to hold the documents rolled up, and she adored it!
Did we amend it 2 years later when she discovered male chastity, when she had me order a device and locked me in to it, no.
Does she still have it in the box, in her wardrobe on the top shelf behind her favourite ( and first ) pair of stilettos I bought for her? Yes!
So in short, it’s what is best for you. Congratulations on your lock up, and good luck on your journey!

 

I think it looks ok. In our case, my Goddess and I went quite in depth with ours, and it is specific to our FLR, sex, financials, responsibilities, and in my case, a feminization program.

I would mention, that out of respect for what my Goddess and I have, I would _never_ post it here or anywhere else. I understand you are in the planning stage, but would be really careful with sharing the finished, very intimate document or its contents with anyone else. It seems flippant and trying to cater to showing others how amazing it is, rather than honoring her, and the bond it creates. (imo)

Good luck. We perused the internet and both found things we liked from others to build the foundation for ours.

 

We have a saying in project management - "The plan isn't important. The exercise of planning is absolutely critical"

I take the same view about these contracts - "The contract isn't important. The exercise of agreeing the contract is absolutely critical"

 

If you need or want a contract, you are not in an FLR. This sounds like you are into a D/s chastity game.

 

I think taking the time to create one, helps you both focus on what you want, need or expect. As others have said, going forward you may or may not reference it much. But i think knowing it's there will help. Good luck and enjoy.

 

Has Mrs Jah had any input to this?

One subject I might suggest adding is Communication. What are each of your expectations for each other?

You may also want to consider defining your expectaions for her a bit, to give it the feel of a bilateral contract. Consider: would you REALLY be happy if she locked you and ignored you for months on end? Indeed this would be the part (her commitmrnts) I would ask her for input on the most. Not to make it restrictive on her at all, but rather for her to truly see it as a mutual contract. Just my $0.02 since you asked.

You could also go into hard limits, but doesnt sound necessary here.

 

My Wife/ KH and I have a contract. It took a little over 2 weeks of negotiating and restructuring before we were both in agreement. I printed out 2 copies and presented them to Her. She re read and said that it was what She wanted.

Both copies are in Her desk drawer, unsigned.

In the end, it wasn't about the contract for us. It was about forcing ourselves to have a realistic and in depth conversation with each other about what we both wanted in our relationship, how we could each improve it and what we wanted from each other. It also forced us to be more aware of the other's feelings and desires.

It wasn't the contract that was needed, in our relationship. It was the conversation.

 

If you do go ahead with a contract, remember it's a living document. Our first one included some stuff about maintenance spankings etc but She had no interest in that at the time. She never showed any interest in spanking me.

Several years later She's discovered a full blown sadist side and I get tied down (She says I 'move around too much') and spanked, cropped, flogged, paddled, spanked, bitten, humbled, and covered in hot wax. And She just ordered a cattle prod. Things change, lol.