Why do we want male chastity to be normalised...

People have a religion, and want to promote the religion.

People have sports team, and wear the colors and wave the flag and wear the gear.

People buy a car, and want everyone to know that their investment is the best.

People choose a side in politics, and promote it.

People have a lifestyle, and seem to want everyone to know it.

We live in the age of look-at-me. Regurgitating one's life second by second on youtube and facebook and every other form of online spectacle. This is me, leaving the gas station. This is me, arriving at the grocery store. This is me, feeding the cat. Look everyone! I opened a can of catfood. Oh, and here's another selfie, because, well, me! Me, me, me. Look at me.

It's said that chastity devices are the second most sold sex toy; the majority, perhaps, cheap chinese ones, many for play and not with intent of much more, and likely most, toys...but things don't sell, regardless of the intended use, without a market. People are buying them.

A lot of men, far more than women, we can safely conclude, would like their desire to be taken seriously by a woman. They crave the recognition, the validation, the humiliation, the control, the submission, the fantasy, the security, or any number of other possibilities...and the more mainstream chastity becomes, and the more women buy into it, the more may be inclined to participate. Normalization may lead to more widespread use, greater acceptance, both by women, and by men who don't see chastity as an aberration or anomaly.

Perhaps keys on necklaces are the chastity pride flag, subtly swaying in the breeze to the gait of the holder, and perhaps when others see it they smile and nod, knowing full well, what it means.

 

I want to see a different society, one which is not male-dominated and testosterone driven. That's what I want to see become mainstream.

 

If it became mainstream, it would become vanilla. Nobody (on here) surely wants vanilla?

 

I agree completely.
Why on earth would we want any kink to become mainstream and commonplace?

Takes all the fun out it. Makes it "normal".

Once accepted it's no longer kinky.

 

On one level, I wish male chastity was more normalised. I would like to be able to meet potential partners and be comfortable raising chastity fairly early on in a relationship, that (if it was normalised) they had already heard of it, and thought it sounded fun and ideally it turned them on too. The risk is they run straight for the hills!

However, I think it depends what is meant by 'male chastity'. As I hope I've interpreted fairly from the OP's question, my first reaction is also one that puts male chastity into the realms of kink and BDSM, and where the cage (and all it implies) is an integral part of the experience. Yes there is FLR in a much wider sense that goes beyond activities in the bedroom, but the cage - literally and metaphorically - remains a key factor and/or incentive.

But thinking further, I'm not so sure it's necessarily just about the sexual kink of physical restraining devices, orgasm denial, power exchange and dominance/submission. I have been struck by members on CM who report they don't wear devices at all and for them chastity is almost non-sexual (even non-kinky) and relates to feeling a deeper bond of love and commitment with a partner.

So if chastity was more about one partner promising to another they won't have sexual relationships with anyone else, and moreover they won't have their own orgasms unless it is as part of a shared experience with their partner - isn't that form of chastity already more normalised? It's probably how my grandparents lived!

 

Many religious and spiritual movements employ chastity and have done for a long time. It doesn't appear to have made anything better.

What societal problems would be solved or reduced if men and women openly talked about male chasity and more men were chaste?

Do you mean enforced male chastity? If so then the same question applies.

 

I disagree completely, and agree with Giles_English. The fact that any activity, and this one in particular, is considered kink and not mainstream, has nothing to do with my interest in it. In fact, I think female dominant male chastity would be more exciting if it were widespread.

 

The fantasy of it is great. I have read a few fantasy stories ragarding mainstream male chastity and I think they are fabulous. Certainly way better than the dungeon based stuff, possibly because it's more conceivable perhaps, at least for me.

 

I see where you’re coming from and maybe this point a divide in the community. For me its never been about being a kink or being unusual. Actually it being obscure / weird is more of a bad thing. Related to OP’s point about declining privacy, as it stands now, if my involvement with male chastity was “exposed” to family, friends, etc it could be damaging to many of the relationships (I know people who would consider it notably weird or “disgusting”) or at the very least extremely embarrassing. And there have been numerous threads discussing public exposure, specifically in places where one already expects to be nude, like locker rooms or clothing optional beaches. Many have brought up the point that even you just wearing your a device there could be viewed as “forcing your kink” on someone else.

Alternatively, it would be great if there really wasn’t a concern about being “exposed”. If someone found out I was locked the reaction would just be a “meh” or “yeah so what?”. I’m not saying every couple needs to practice it, but it would be good if it wasn’t something that we had to hide. And I agree with the other advantages this could lead to (e.g more and better devices, though that has come a long way in the past few years) that OP pointed to.

For couples for whom the fact that it is weird / different is in itself the attraction all the more power to you, but I guess we just differ in that regard.

That's an interesting point I hadn't considered. I think with the device bringing a physical enforcement aspect adds a certain power dynamic that perhaps makes it less acceptable then the "classic" chastity you outlined.

 

The more something is exposed to the general population, the less fear there is that those who use it to have if they are "found out".

Where once sex toys were confined to seedy stores down an alley or small adverts in the back of dirty magazines, now they are far more open and vibrant and (for women at least) sex toy use is far more normalised. I still think there is an "ick" factor around male sex toys and their use remains somewhat a dirty secret.

I don't think for a second though, that normalising sex toys has diminished the view of them from those that use them, if anything, it has allowed things to expand and somewhat given permission for their use in day to day life.

 

Counterpoint: I'm turned on, partially, by the taboo nature of entrusting my manhood to another person. If it was normalized, then the taboo would be dampened.

 

We started with chastity as a kink, but we're 24/7 now because it suits us. Vanilla or kinky wouldn't change that (I'd be locked regardless), but I must admit it's fun having a kinky secret to share with my KH.

Having said that, it would be nice if it were more socially acceptable so I could share my experiences and discuss the benefits of chastity with more people...

 

As always @Giles_English a thought provoking topic! I’m in the camp of I don’t mind either way, it’s still something we will do whether it’s mainstream, vanilla or taboo. I’m still fascinated by the idea that chastity devices are the second most sold sex toy, that’s pretty damn mainstream!

 

My idea is more that FLR would become a more common idea. Chastity is just one of the elements to it. I don't see chastity in the mainstream often, but Amazon is selling a shit ton of devices specific to male chastity.

 

My wife does. Lol

 

But is your wife on here?

 

As a long-term cannabis smoker, normalisation has been a topic of conversation for nearly 35 years amongst my peers. Would it be better, or worse? I don't know. Would it be easier to get? Undoubtedly, but then I might become more expensive. It would be taxed! Excellent. I would like the industry to contribute to the NHS.
I can quite honestly say that I have longed for it for so long. OK. Most people are accepting of it, but I'm still doing something that I need to keep hidden to a certain degree, that harms noone else. That some will judge to be wrong.

I own some books on the subject,.and these don't come cheap, as they are low print numbers due to the nicheness of it. Considering the low cost of the paraphernalia of chastity devices,.and comparing it to some of the books I bought (£25-30 for a paperback), could the cost of paraphernalia be one of the most important criteria in seeing if we are into mainstream kink or niche?

 

Because I’m tired of seeing women needlessly suffering in bad relationships and I know how much happiness that enforced male chastity can bring to their lives.

 

Taboo implies contrary to societal norms. Socially unacceptable. Behind closed doors. Yet how many here throw a cage on their genitalia, then head out the door for a jog with nothing but a set of tenny runners and a hat? Nobody? Radio silence?

Why, of course not. Nobody does that. Chastity does happen behind closed doors. If one appears as a naked male amid a sea of clothed women, it's because in that environment, in that microculture, it is acceptable, and not taboo.

If you do chastity because it's a thrill, and you're not an exhibitionist to those who might find it offensive or distasteful, then it's not really about a taboo; there isn't any chastity taboo. Let's face it, it's not really a kink, either. Religious priests, catholic in particular, take vows of chastity all over the world, and that's not considered kinky, nor taboo. If anything, those men are meant to be more godly, more spiritual. More "safe." (scores of pedophiles masquerading as holy men excepted, of course).

Chastity becoming "mainstream" doesn't alter the "thrill" factor, nor make it more or less "taboo." A politician who is found to be wearing a chastity device won't be the center of a scandal, because while it might cause a minor stir, most wouldn't care less. It's not taboo. It's not sex with a sister or a donkey. It's absence of intercourse. It's refraining from having sex. Not taboo.

I own a lot of firearms. An LOT. I carry them, use them, shoot them, on occasion make a living doing all of the above. I don't show them off. Most of the time when I'm carrying, you wouldn't know I'm carrying, because I don't advertise it. If you see my firearm, it's probably because circumstances have gone very badly for you, and you've made some unfortunate life choices. Or end of life choices.

Likewise, if I'm wearing a chastity cage (seems more often, as time goes on), I'm not advertising it. You won't see it. You won't know it. I don't feel a need to advertise it. It doesn't matter to me that you are unaware, which is to say, it doesn't take anything away from my decision to wear it, your not knowing. Whether you know or not has no impact on my wearing it, and whether anyone considers it acceptable, desirable, scandalous, erotic, sensual, tempestuous, derranged, desirable, weird, or kinky is entirely irrelevant to me. Make it mainstream and that won't change.

The only possible change I can see is that rather than explaining to my wife why I should be denied sexual relief, were it mainstream, she'd probably expect it.

As she should.

Because I'm a male, I'm an ape, and I need to be locked up.

 

@HusbandX if it's not taboo, then you have no problem telling your parents and siblings about it? All good suggesting it to a coworker or vanilla friend who you think might benefit from it in some way? Mention it on your Facebook (where it would probably be censored)? All good showering at the gym in front of strangers, and don't try to hide it?

At least some of those things would turn heads at minimum or cause a commotion. Of course it's taboo. Putting your manhood under lock and key is taboo. Maybe not on the level of sex with donkeys, but certainly more than having a vibrator discovered in your luggage.

If it's not taboo, then why is there so much discussion here about whether or not being seen in a cage at a nude beach is infringing your kink on innocent people who didn't ask to be included in your sex games?

You talk about priests... But you don't hear them talking about how they use cages. Most people would be scandalized to find out that their priest wore a piece of hardware to help them remain chaste. And if a prominent politician was discovered to be caged with their wife holding the key, it would get a lot of press. Shit, people couldn't stop talking about Dennis Kucinich because his wife had a pierced tongue. A chastity cage is measurably more kinky than a pierced tongue, which countless 14 year old girls have. It's silly to suggest that there is no kink or taboo associated with a cock cage.

 

So there's been a lot of other debate about normalising chastity recently, which got me thinking about the old Christinity/ chastity post.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/chastity-cages-and-christianity.41711/

Have any of you Christian guys ever gone to an anonymous forum, such as this, and debated with others that share your beliefs and the same scriptures, as to whether wearing a chastity device (which in itself is not kinky in my opinion) fits with the teachings of The Bible? Or proper kinky stuff, as long as it's with your wife?

Would be an interesting conversation to bring up.

 

What I tell my parents or siblings is irrelevant, and has nothing to do with "taboo." There is no societal disapproval or shame associated with wearing a cage.

I do not tell my siblings what sex positions I prefer. Nor do I describe my habits when attending the toilet, or the shower, or how I clip my toe nails, or whether or how I might choose to masturbate. Things everyone does, but not things we talk about; these are private. This does not make them taboo. Nearly every male chooses to masturbate, but describing it is frowned upon. This does not make masturbation taboo, because it IS a societal norm. Just not one that's a topic of open conversation. I don't discuss how I break wind, or my techniques for wiping or washing my ass, either. You get the point.

Priests don't talk about using cages; perhaps most or all don't. Irrelevant. A cage is not chastity. Abstinance is mainstream; entire groups find it trendy, appropriate, acceptable to take oaths of chastity and abstinance. Most churches of most denominations and religious sects teach abstinance outside of marriage and what goes on inside...well, that's nearly always left to the couple.

I've never heard of "Dennis Kucinich," but apparently he or she means something to you. Never heard of his or her wife or life partner, either. Was this person significant or newsworthy in some way?

I don't shower at the gym, in front of anyone, with, or without a cage.

Is using discretion to not include others in one's private proclivities, somehow indicative of being "taboo?" No, isn't. There are numerous acts, facts, and elements of our lives which are kept private. I don't take a shit in public, either. I don't choose to hop on a bus or take an airline flight without pants, regardless of the presence of a cage.

Everyone wants to think they're special, and if you want to pretend that you're living in forbidden territory that would horrify society, that you're the ultimate rebel and a sexual adventurer that's on the cutting edge of no-no land, by wearing a cock cage, or by not having an orgasm, then knock yourself out. You can go the next 50 years without a single sexual release, and I guarantee, the world will still spin at the same speed, society will still barter and sell the same, and the planet will neither know, nor care. If you choose to tell the world, same thing. It's a big thing in your head. Not anyone else's. But hey, if you get off on that imaginary world, it's not hurting anything. Let it be as naughty and taboo as fucking donkey's on the whitehouse lawn with a sparkler in each hand while wearing a beanie with a propeller on top, if you like. It's your world.

But in the real world, wearing a chastity device, abstaining from sex, or agreeing or volunteering to go without orgasm, isn't that sensational, forbidden, or "taboo."

 

It's amusing to think that the acts themselves are not taboo, but discussing them publicly *is*.