Female keyholder looking for someone to chat privately with me& my sub-husband

My advice is to have you both write down what you each would like from an FLR.

Then talk about what each of you wrote.

See if you are on the same page with somethings and at the other end of the spectrum on other things.

Then decide which of the expectations you both agree on (FLR is still a relationship).

Then begin to decide how you will both implement it.

Take it slow. Do not do too much too fast. That is a recipe for disaster. Small steps equal small accomplishments. Your accomplishments will make you feel better about moving forward towards your goal.

Check in with each other daily about what is going on. Do not hold back your feelings on this. Open communication is vital to any new relationship working.

Finally their really is no end. Everyone's relationships are constantly evolving and changing. You were not the same couple today that you were when you first started dating. As such, you will not be the same couple after doing this for a month, 6 months, a year....you get the idea.

Their is no set rule book to follow. You need to make it work for you how you want it too.

Finally, have I mentioned communication? It is as essential as breathing.

I hope that helps.

Iso.

 

www.evolvingyourman.com is a great resource for beginners.

 

Hehe ... this is a good place to start. Here's the thing with men: You won't know what works until you try pushing some buttons. So you want to get him in a situation in which you can push him just a wee bit outside of his comfort zone, and see how he responds.

Why? Because it's like mining (digging for gold, etc.): When you find a vein, you follow it. Let me make up an imaginary situation:

* He agrees to let you lock him up for 1 day. At the end of that time, you don't unlock him and you don't say anything about it. Does he ask? If you respond "is it already time to unlock you? I was hoping you'd want to spend another day in that", how does he respond? Does he get angry (could be a bad sign)? Flustered (likely a good sign)? Happy?

Different men respond to different things. The best case scenario is to get his head into the space where he's willing to open up and give you a peek at what drives him. Once you figure out how to get him to open up a little, you just repeat that, over and over, as you get to know his inner workings.

That's probably been the biggest change in our marriage from chastity & denial (note: she'd never call it that): She's gottten me to open up and be more vulnerable and truly honest about myself. And it's scary at first for the man. Men aren't normally open and honest about their feelings. Stupid, yes, but we're apparently wired that way for a reason.

And if my experience is anything to go by (who knows? I could be normal? I could be a freak?), a man who is "coaxed open" by his wife will be hooked and addicted to her beyond imagination.

So the cage is just a tool in your toolbox. Your real challenge is open up the mechanism of his brain, and figure out what makes that mechanism tick.

Have fun!

 

The cage is a reward not a punishment.

 

Been in chastity 24/7 for over 5 years. I would be glad to chat with you.

 

As a sissy slave I would be honored to chat with both of you here.

 

Sure I’d like to help

 

Well said

 

Why not just lock him up make sure he is locked take the key hide it so he will never find it in a secure place. Demand obedient that he need to do chores etc to prove he is worthy to get out. Only unlock him when you want him. You need to be in control that’s what most guys get turned on by. Just remind him sometimes who is in control.

 

Feel free to ask anything, if you want private, use chat or PM

 

I find that a good way to start is to have a blind bullet point listing session together.
Columns of -
Definitely not
Could grow into it
OK with
Definitely want


If you both make a list you can compare then discuss an initial set of rules based on the OK with and definitely want matches.

You can also be a bit more targeted by making a list, or borrowing one from online against which to mark your references.
Example
Chastity cage -
For punishment only ok
At home only. Definitely want
For set periods. Definitely want
24/7 /365. Definitely not

This kind of exercise can help you form a starting place together. Areas where there are differences in desires can be weighted where the Dominant definitely wants.