What's it like to go from ‘just as a kink’ to full-on lifestyle / relationship tool?

Slightly different point of view. You enjoy this as a kink and at least in the short term as a lifestyle progression. Ask your self if it is something you can be happy with for the rest of your life. Based on your story I can see that if you change your mind it is going to be difficult to change since historically people never want to give up power and she had some expectations about your relationship going forward. In the GF stage its easy to have this discussion, if your married the potential to get locked in without good recourse goes up ( ie possibility of divorce if one of you can't live with the situation). As a man you will get hosed. Think about the difference between short term and long term happiness and make the best decision for you. A little self reflection on why a FLR works for you can give you some insight as well. If you choose to "follow her lead" always ask yourself is this still going in a direction I am happy with and am I getting my needs addressed. Never "accept" anything unless it works for you.

 

Thanks for sharing. It sounds that you both are on a good start already done a lot to get in.

I wish you happiness and frustrating fun!

 

Sounds awesome and balanced. Some of the relationships you read about on this site "appear" to be less well balanced. Could be because they are or it could be because most of the posts are a " slice of life" and don't portray the full relationship dynamic. I know my posts don't.

 

there are as many stories as there are members on the forum.

certainly some are out of the ordinary. others are romanticized and others are just a bunch of fantasy.

I think that we must pass judgment on the whole and not on the exception.

I love both sides, sometimes too ordinary is boring.

 

True. but then, don't we give up power when agreeing to be chastised?

 

Not necessarily. Many use chastity to increase intimacy or add spice to their love life. And giving up power doesn’t even enter the equation. My wife and I have been involved with chastity for over a year and it doesn’t have anything to do with giving up power.

 

To my humble opinion,

The most important thing is that @keptcherry is giving in and is happy about that.

 

Hopefully he isn't "giving in" but instead carefully developing a mutual relationship that provided pleasure etc for both. The person who can say NO always has the power in a consenting relationship and can quit or leave at any time. Anything you give up you can always get back. Its your choice. It may come with a price but it is always your choice. It would be a shame if he found that she took the relationship in a direction he isn't comfortable with and had to kick her to the curb.

 

That’s great you’ve been able to build up such steady stamina, and I get what you mean about soreness from the cage helping with you’re being able to last for PIV. In most recent years I’ve done all honor system chastity and in that situation it’s especially tough as you’re always hanging free/out, getting erect/semi-erect, rubbing around loosely in your clothes and just edging all the time. So when the moment comes for sex (and my wife always rides on top too), I am so much more worked up that it can often be real tough to last for her.

I am interested in getting a Cherry Keeper, mostly for the apparent extreme light weight. My steel Chinese knockoff (that gets little use) is so heavy it’s not practical. I do like the look and idea of getting full touchstop, though there’d be some anxiety not being able to see my member in the cage to make sure all is well. Also I don’t know if not being able to get a q-tip in there to straighten the head out now and again would prove difficult? I do want the Headlock feature and maybe that would solve that issue anyway...

It seems like you got a very good fit first time - did you pick the standard size cage? I was looking at the small, mostly to help ensure discreetness under clothes.

 

Very interesting discussion. Game v. Lifestyle, I will say that chastity can fit into any sort of relationship. In my case, although I'm locked full time and do not ask for or initiate sex, our relationship is otherwise pretty vanilla. Though having a KH who ties me up and teases the bejesus out of me from time to time isn't exactly vanilla, but outside of that....

So the FLR components are not baked into a chastity relationship. They are completely separate and as such can and perhaps should be negotiated separately.

Likewise, your trialing of the device should be a model for your trialing of an FLR. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to have chastity in your life, and no matter what books you read, or that your GF read, there is no, "approved" FLR.

Any serious long term intimate relationship, kinky or otherwise is a collaboration and if it stops working for one person, it is abusive of the other person to say, "it works for me, and I don't care that it's not working for you."

So go ahead and experiment with it, but treat it as an experiment that is part of the ongoing experiment of your long term relationship, and know that any and every part of that is always subject to change.