ideal time between orgasms for harmonious relationship?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by sonhee, Oct 10, 2020.

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  1. sonhee
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    sonhee Long term member

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    I wonder if there is a certain unlock schedule that leads to a harmonious relationship. Like, short lockups probably don't do anything and too long ones might lead to aggression and frustration. I read on some website one male orgasm per week is ideal for a happy relationship, but somewhere else I read once per month is best.
     
  2. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    I am not sure there is a 'one size fits all' answer to this question. Once per week is not often enough for us. It only happens when there is an obstacle such as illness. I know some here never have orgasms and they seems to be thriving. I look forward to seeing the answers.
     
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  3. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    IMO, the number really depends on how dominant/submissive both parties are.
    However, a strict schedule (say, a guaranteed orgasm per 2 weeks) may lead to something much worse than frustration - a sense of entitlement on sub's part, which greatly diminishes control by the KH. The number of orgasms awarded (if any) should be decided exclusively by Dom, with no set dates or conditions under which the sub may "demand" one.
     
  4. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    1 every 1 to 2 months would be nice bit we are locked to not be in charge of that area.
     
  5. Guest 0387
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    Verified Female

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    With so many experiments(from 1-2 days to 48 days lockup) we have decided to let him orgasm by every 10-15 days. Longer period only makes him frustrated and shorter period doesn't makes any sense.
     
  6. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    In our case it's as long as Mrs Chaste decides! It works very well for us! She gets all the orgasms she wants and I get all the orgasms she allows, (one so far this year)! She says that orgasms aren't good for me, and it's certainly not for me to doubt her!
     
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  7. Alana
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    Alana Long term member

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    Maybe you could allow regular "milkings" while not giving in to the idea of setting an expectation for regular Orgasms. ...Personally I think I would be more than happy with that arrangement.
     
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  8. madams-sissysub
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    My madams unlock schedule is as little as possible! As I can orgasm from anal stimulation and this has no drop in my submission, madam doesn’t see any reason I need to be unlocked.
     
  9. amareine
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    amareine Long term member

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    my urologist (one of the best in France) says
    no matter
    if your prostat needs somethinf
    it will empty alone during the night, cage or not cage
     
  10. Ienieminie
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    Ienieminie Active member

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    For me ideal is every day, but that's why I am in chastity.
    I'm not asked
    My Mrs. Is in charge, so it can be 10-15 days of even a month or more.
    Frustrated after a longer time, yes. But the whip or carpet beater will help me understand that it is the way it is. I'm happy when she is.
     
  11. subcuckold
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    subcuckold Active member

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    i guess there isn't a time good for all, everyone have to find the right time.
    In our experience we increased time between released over time, we reach now one every 3 month, but we are now move to anal stimulation, no so more release will be necessary
     
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  12. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    this is entirely subjective and depends on the dynamic in any given relationship
     
  13. Nosaint
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    I agree, it is different for each couple, but age also plays a role. What is possible now (60+) would have been intolerable 20 years ago. Currently, we're on an every 3+ month schedule. She says every lock up period will be a new record. The current record is 15 weeks. Given my stubborn streak, it takes me about 2 months for denial to have a noticeable effect on my attitude.
     
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  14. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    She has experimented with longer and longer stretches. She says that, while I start changing immediately, it takes at least 6 weeks before my defenses really start to crumble (i.e. where she wants me). And then, of course, she wants to enjoy the new me for some time. This was NOT AT ALL what I had planned, so I would get frustrated. Not to be topped from any direction she calmly soldiers on and experiments with more frequent ruineds, anal and other stimulus to keep me where she wants me (and she literally gets off on this every time).

    Me? I would prefer to have an O at least monthly (now that I am 60) but she adjusts my attitude and lets mr service her so often that I can't complain.

    Sorry to go on. My point wasnt to brag at all, rather to say it all depends on your age, libido, and what your KH wants and both of you work toward. Whether its 1 day or 1 year just be sure to enjoy.
     
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  15. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Like others have said, personal desires and the needs of the relationship are different between different people. I was used to frequent climaxes, although only by masturbation, certainly multiple times per week. When i got into chastity it began to vary, but not a lot, as i lacked any personal discipline. Then i was approached and eventually owned online by @MistressS . Initially i didn't see much change in frequency, only releases were dependent on Her approval rather than my whims. As our relationship has gone on longer, the frequency dropped, with more tasks required for approval, and longer times between releases. At times, even completion of tasks didn't insure a release. Now i find myself totally willing to let Her determine when or even if i can cum. My desires have little to do with my releases and i've begun to focus more on being what She wants. So you should find what works best for you, and mold him to your needs. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  16. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    I have been denied for coming up on 7 weeks, and @Artemistress has told me not to expect an orgasm for a long time, if ever. She views them as an obstacle to my being fully devoted to Her pleasure.

    Knowing that I am not to expect a release allows me to put aside my own feelings and focus on allowing myself to be trained and bettered by her guidance.
     
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  17. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    I think a once a week schedule is good and if it stretches to two weeks it's even better. This way it`s not expected and leaves a little room for my wife to decide. I actually prefer the two week span more because I get much more focused on pleasing her.
    It seems to be different for each relationship and requires a little experimentation to find what works best.
     
  18. Staylocked
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    Staylocked Active member

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    I depends on the people involved for sure, but time will change things too. I remember when one week was a long time. I have been reassuring my wife that I dont care how long it is, whether its once per year or one a week. She can see when I am in the state where our relationship works the best better than I can and I want us to be in that sweet spot as often as possible. I've reassured her that I am perfectly happy without sexual reciprocation and that she should never feel guilty about denying me, because its what we both want.
    About 50 days is our longest between full orgasms and we first hit that about 1 year in. I'm competitive, so I encourage her to let us try to break records!
     
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  19. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Mrs Edge has decided that 0 sounds like a good number for me. o_O

    Hope that doesn't throw off your average.
     
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  20. JustAnotherGuyHere
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    Well, I would say every third to tenth orgasm of her is the moment for his orgasm.
    By this rule the young and the old couoples have their adaption ...
     
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  21. inchastity4her
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    inchastity4her Active member

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    I can tell you that for me the more I orgasm the more I want to orgasm again and again. It's terrible. She could let me have a release Friday night, yet Sat and Sunday I wake up throbbing and want to cum again by any means possible. However, once I make it to day 5-7 that desire goes way down. I focus on work, play, her needs and that recent recollection of a full orgasm fades away.

    So there have been times where she's asked me if I wanted to have ruined or full orgasm and I declined because I know how hard it is to get back to the "normal" pacified state. I opted to stay locked just cause it was easier at that time. I would say our average is 2 weeks- 100 days between orgasms and everything in between. Prior to April it was much closer to 60-100 days before she let me cum and last year was the worst, dealing with issues related to menopause.
     
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  22. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    Not caged but for us there is a sweet spot. Unlike most here, If we are having sex on a regular basis she gets the most benefit. If we get past the sweet spot my body and head just say to hell with it and I go my own way and tend to be combative and ignore her. Kinda like if she can't keep me happy then why should I make an effort. Obviously an over simplification of something as complex as a relationship and there have been times when deployed where we haven't seen each other for a year at a time. I guess you could say we have actually had government enforced chastity but based on that and the fact that you never know what crap life is going to throw at you ........
     
  23. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    For the ideal time between orgasms for a harmonious relationship I asked my lady for her thoughts on this

    She said to me its been what... nearly 4 years and I have never let you cum once well I'll let you now when I figure it out for myself. If I ever do.

    So no point in asking me that question
     
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  24. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    My love just says when she feels the time is right us as the ones locked up have no say in the matter
     
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  25. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Long term member

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    We try to go at least every Saturday Night (7 days) unless we extend to 14 days. In between she does milk me to help relieve the mind, Every year we observe Lent and Locktober, so those are longer periods and it depends on her mood during those extended times. We did complete a 122 day lockup without and unlocking, but she did give me several caged orgasms with her wand.
     
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