Much to Learn

New here. Came to chastity due to wanting to masturbate less. Most of what is written on male chastity seems to revolve around kink, femdom, tease and denial etc. Which. . . . I think is great and imagine aspiring to one day. However, I just wanted to decrease masturbation. Not stop. I think an orgasm from time to time is healthy and if I go more than a month I get a bit testy. Wife and I have not had sex in years. She seems uninterested and I finally concluded, maybe it's me. Maybe my masturbation habit saps me of the sexual strength I should be focusing on her. But I really LOVE to masturbate! So I bought a cage. A plastic one which fit well and I found it very comfortable. Within 2 weeks I was able to wear it round the clock. But what to do with the keys and what to do if wife noticed it? I bought a lock box with a timer and that is working well. I know my vulnerable times and if hours before those times. . . when will still strong, I set the lock box for hours AFTER the vulnerable times then the urge usually passes. I went four weeks recently 24/7 except for hygiene. So what if wife notices it? Well so far she seems to be enjoying the extra attention I am giving her and I noticed recently that she had bought some lube (I noticed it in her bathroom closet). So if she notices it. . . . what the hell, I'm going to come clean and tell her this whole story. What do I have to lose.
Anyway, I like the man that chastity is making me and recently ordered a custom Mature Metal Jailbird. That was three weeks ago and they can take up to eight weeks for delivery so. . . .more waiting.
There is some REALLY good stuff on this site and also stuff that. . . well, not for me. But I hope to be able to ask questions and get advice from those more experienced. So four weeks is my record. Today makes 24 hours after a masturbation session yesterday. What a HUGE volume of cum after no orgasm in a month!!

 

Porn certainly makes chastity more difficult and I’m of two minds regarding it. On one hand, if my goal is to reduce masturbation, why do anything to make that more difficult? On the other hand, I do really enjoy porn. If I can stay locked and overcome urges while still viewing porn then isn’t that stronger? Answer seems clear. . . . probably should avoid porn. Why make things more difficult. It does however feel like I am denying myself something else that I enjoy.

It seems though that the kink side of chastity largely uses this sort of challenge. Edging followed by locking up or ruined orgasms, etc. The keyholder orchestrating the whole tease and denial thing. That sounds exciting but seems to me like something that would ONLY work if I had a sentient keyholder. I don’t think it’s something I could do alone because, in the final analysis, I still have access to the key. I can make it more difficult to get the key, but ultimately I still have it and so ultimately when the urge becomes too strong I will fail.

So. . . . does that mean for chastity to REALLY work. . . . aside from using it as a tool or just a game. . . . but to REALLY work. . . . I must have a keyholder? Because that gets tricky. I mentioned earlier that my wife does not know about my foray into chastity and knowing her as I do. . . I very much doubt that she would be interested in being a chastity keyholder.

More introspection to follow. Still can’t wait for my custom Mature Metal Cage. Five more weeks!