The Ease of Orgasm

My wife has never had more than one in a session, and can’t orgasm by PIV, which I believe is quite normal. All hers are by my tongue (usually twice a week). Whenever I’ve offered her more she’s declined, happy with the one. Think all is very normal for you in regard to orgasms @MrsBR_Saiph !

 

My wife rarely had an orgasm from PIV, it was normally my fingers or tongue that worked. She like some of the other women I have made love to would usually stop me after 2 or at the most 3 orgasms, it seemed to me that they did not need/want any more orgasms at that time.

 

My wife orgasms really easily from PIV. I counted 7 once. Typically it’s. 2-3 before I orgasm though. When she is really worked up I have to take a break when giving her oral. If not, she will orgasm really fast and not get the pleasure of me orally serving her for very long. She is one and done for clitoral stimulation. I’ve always considered myself lucky she cums so easily.

 

@MrsBR_Saiph, I've never been tempted to write fantasy; I'm here to work through my real and sometimes difficult journey with others. But I could understand how reports I give about my wife's orgasms might sound like fantasy. I'm often scratching my head in bemusement too.

One things seems very clear -- and unsurprising to me when I think about it. Anatomy varies a *lot*. Just look at external body types -- hard to believe we're all the same species sometimes! And the brain - a bundle of nerves - differs so much from one to another. Likewise internal anatomy, including the clit (another bundle of nerves) and how it's wired up in the brain.

When we first got together, 29 years ago, I, trying to be a young, sensitive guy, aware of the wisdom that women don't always orgasm easily or at all, told her that it was ok if she didn't come every one, she shouldn't feel performance pressure. She looked at me like I was insane, and said "what, and you get to come every time?" (Ahem...that was back then ...things have changed quite a bit!)

She reached orgasm without too much time and in a variety of ways, and reliably. But she thought she was single orgasmic. Back then (and still today to a greater extent than I like admitting) I was performance focused: on delivering her orgasm (always subbie). Didn't take long for her to learn she was multi-orgasmic. Though she might stop after one or two when we have a quickie (which she's more fond of than I am), in a typical session she'll come 4-5 times. Tongue, vibrate, fingers. She generally comes from PIV or fingers inside, alone, though she usually enjoys it more (and comes more intensely) with her wand at the same time.

In the past few years, as she has moved squarely into middle age and menopause, she has become *more* orgasmic, and especially dramatic, with a quicker trigger. This is her -- I'm not claiming any special talent. In fact, if it were up to me, I wish I could slow her down. For her nightly before sleep "good night kiss", she normally comes in less than a minute, sometimes in something like 30 seconds. And for that ritual, she usually only wants only you one or two Os to relax her before sleep. I wish it would last longer!

The other thing I find fascinating about the anatomy -- and this is likely a key way in which it varies -- is how close to the surface, or maybe it's the size, of the clit. Since i've learned in recent years about the full extent and shape of the internal clit, especially the arms down the sides of her labia, I give different areas attention. She is just as remarkably responsive to licking -- with some pressure -- along the outside of her outer labia as to licking on the exposed head of the clit. What I used to think of as foreplay to warm her up, now brings her to orgasm also in less than a minute, without my even getting to the head of the clit. It's partly that I use my tongue differently there now there's an arm of the clit re beneath the surface, but it's mostly that she's getting more sensitive and responsive. I don't know why (tho I wonder if in part it's in the head, and that having me in chastity so that she knows it's all about her and can feel free to lose herself in her own pleasure maybe part of it, perhaps along with the gradually more dominant role she is inhabiting).

As for frequency, we're not aware of an upper limit. She rarely wants more than 5 or 6, but she not infrequently goes over 10, and she's never found that she can't have another is she wishes.

Long story short: this isn't bragging, it's not about me. It's about her and that every woman has a different physiology and different headspace, and just as some men ejaculate before even entering the vagina, and others can last an hour, there's a lot of variety if female orgasmic speed and frequency. (Indeed, not only has my wife herself changed a lot over the years, but my first wife was quite different.)

 

My wife does take a bit to orgasm and She is only able to have a single orgasm during our love making.

When we make love, I try to ensure that She not only cums first but cums the loudest as well.

When we start I need to sync up with Her mind. I need to be able to read Her mood, Her mentality and Her energy.

Then I work on reading Her body. I need to know what feels good, what I need to stop doing and what I need to start doing. I usually will ask for some feedback along the way. (I know, a Man who actually asks for directions, how rare!)

Once I am able to be in sync with Her mind, body and spirit the real fun begins. I look for the signs of when She is approaching the point of no return. I then stop, let her calm down a bit, caress and kiss her for a minute or two then start back up again. After three or four of these I let her go and she will usually have amazing orgasm.


My only issue (asside from not making love as often as I would like) is my own stamina. The longer I am denied, the more sensitive I am. Any denial period longer than a week, and I am lucky to last more than two minutes. I have tried Zen breathing, thinking of something else, stopping and allowing myself to calm down... nothing works. The only thing that works is if I am allowed to masterbate up to three days before we make love. Then I am able to hold off long enough to satisfy Her. But masterbating like that, kind of defeats the purpose of my Chasitiy.

If you are having trouble reaching orgasm, have you thought of finding a sex coach? If I am over stepping my bounds I do apologize. It's just that you and your husband are really good and caring people and on more than one occasion you both have helped me. I guess I just do not want nice people like the both of you to have any issues. In a way I look up to you and your husband and the solid relationship you two share. If you were having problems, well...that just would not be right. It would not be fair.

Iso.

 

That's a ratio of roughly 30:1 or 300:1 for full O's. Sounds about right

 

This has been a fascinating topic to watch. I think the sexual differences between men and women can make it difficult for men to comprehend that many women can enjoy sex as much as their male partner without necessarily having an orgasm. I can't speak for every woman out there, but my wife once put in a way that I think makes a lot of sense: an orgasm is like a cherry on top of a big sundae; I enjoy every bite up to that cherry, but am already satisfied by the time I get to it and would not be disappointed if there were no cherry at all.

I know that I I haven't had an orgasm while making love in over 3 years. It hasn't bothered me in the slightest. Because of my battles with gender dysphoria, I decided three years ago that I would never use my "plumbing" for sex ever again, and once I had achieved a female hormone balance it was never an issue. I actually enjoy intimacy more now than I did before. About once a month I might have a really strong urge for an orgasm, and I take care of it through masturbation (which is a little different when you don't get erections anymore). But otherwise, I am completely satisfied during our lovemaking to be touched in certain places, kissed, caressed, and doing the same to my wife. Having an orgasm really isn't on my radar during those times. Occasionally I can tell I get close, but I don't feel disappointed when it doesn't happen. It feels good and is fun just getting that close.

Back before HRT, when I was hormonally male, this would have been a challenge. Sure, I was using chastity devices, but going without an orgasm was challenging. And if I happened to be unlocked and free to orgasm, but for some reason didn't get to have one, I would have felt disappointed. And there was always a feeling of urgency to get to "the finish line".

 

Since your surgery have you had any urges for an orgasm

 

Once. That hasn't really changed. My testosterone level actually increased slightly after my orchiectomy. Overall, not a big change in hormone levels. I was on a pretty high dose of androgen blocker, and that kept my testosterone level in the undetectable range for about 1.5 years. A few weeks after surgery, my testosterone level measured 11 ng/dL. And that puts me right in the female range for testosterone. We had lowered my estradiol dosage, anticipating that it wouldn't take as much since my body no longer had testicles, but that caused my estradiol level to drop to 134 pg/mL, it should be around 200. So, I went back up to close to what I had been taking before and we'll test it again soon and see if I am close to 200 again.

But, no, sex drive or any feeling of need for orgasm didn't change. Other than being free of the little poison factories, I don't feel any different than before.

 

My madam usually only achieves compleate orgasm from serious stimulation also. She always laughs when we would watch porn and the woman was orgasming is seconds!

 

Miss A is also capable of multiple orgasms from a variety of types of stimulation.

 

Me neither. Yet I have experienced the phenomenon quite intimately, as it was my face receiving the squirt Delightful experience.

But what comes to amount of female orgasms ... My experiences confirm that there is a huge variability: My KH has typically 10+ if we have a short session of PIV and 20+ if longer, whereas my one lover gets typically one or two, and another is very happy if she gets one. We are quite open about all things sex and she has told me that it is the same thing even with her hubby, and other men she has had sex with.

 

My wife almost always has one orgasm when we "have sex" (I lick her and work the dildo). If she doesn't have an orgasm, or if it takes longer than usual for her to achieve orgasm, I may be punished for not serving her properly.

Her orgasms are pretty intense, and when she has a proper orgasm it is amazing to behold. I have often cum in my cage and panties even though I receive absolutely no physical stimulation during 'sex.' To answer your question, there is no chance she is faking it, and no reason at all for her to do so.

As I said, that's one orgasm per session. Very rarely she may have more than one orgasm, as when I serve her orally to her satisfaction and then she is ready to take the dildo. But the main reason it's so rare is that after one orgasm she is usually tired and enjoying her natural high, and she just wants to lay down and relax at that point.

 

Speaking only of partners I've had in long term relationships, their ability to achieve orgasm has been all over the board. One, a six year stint, we tried everything, read books on the subject, etc...and she had zero orgasms. My current Keyholder, is the opposite. I can have her cumming in minutes. Once she's there, multiple orgasms come in waves. I found what one lover would enjoy, another would find annoying. So, I'd have to agree that we are made different and enjoy different things. We just need the right person in our lives to be patient with us until we find that hot spot that sends us over the edge.

 

My experience on this is that different girls have different twirls.

One used my cock like a dildo to get off non stop.

A bi-partner told me outright that she only came by herself.

But mostly one well-earned climax has always been good for most partners.

Its like catching fish, you got those who net in multiple shrimpy ones, or those that go deep sea for the Big One.

My Madame Vanilla always goes deep sea, sometimes makes a catch.

 

@MrsBR_Saiph My wife always used to be a one orgasm lady and it took good clitoral stimulation to bring her to orgasm and never really used to be multi orgasmic.
Fast forward to present, she is very multi orgasmic and can have earth shattering orgasms merely from good poundings from her bulls or from me and my tongue and fingers.
Both not sure how that happened going from a one orgasm lady to having sometimes as many as around 8 with her one bull many months back.
Post menopause she began hrt biodenticals which helped libido greatly. We don't know if that played a role or not but she's not overthinking it ha.
When we play it's me with my fingers. We discovered one evening while she had me slowly finger and massage her, I slowly and gently massaged her cervix and barely tapped it and she orgasmed so hard she was shaking. That was a first for U/us and the beginning of her having many o's that way. Followed by gspot orgasms that had her squirting (again, never had she squirted) followed by several clitoral orgasms.
Then while watching her and her bull, she would orgasm many times just from her bull giving it hard and fast as she wanted.
So in conclusion... Speaking only for U/us, no delusion here Ma'am. W/we can't explain why she went from not being multi orgasmic to being very multi orgasmic and merely cumming hard from penetration without clitoral stimulation.
Strange phenomenon but she's' definitely not complaining.

 

With great respect to MrsBR Saiph, Miss Amanda can achieve any number of orgasms, even without being touched. But I agree that this is not my experience with many women.

 

Mrs Sen is probably also in a minority where she doesn't orgasm just from clitoral stimulation, for her, she needs internal stimulation to get there. She gets pleasure from oral but has never orgasmed from oral alone. Only twice has she orgasmed from just a wand on the outside, but both time she also had a butt plug in, so she still had internal stimulation of sorts. We have tried various vibrating toys, a rabbit and a few suction toys like satisfyers but these don't really get her there either.

Once she has orgasmed, her clit becomes hyper sensitive and stimulation is too intense, this lasts 1-2 minutes. Almost all her orgasms are delivered by a wand (either Mantric rechargeable or Doxy mains powered) in combination with a dildo. Once she has cum I remove the toys and proceed with gentle oral, let her settle down then back to toys, rinse and repeat. Usually 3 is her number after which she is content and body is tired.

 

Almost, every women I've ever slept with said that they experience a variety of orgasms. My wife says that she often gets a series of little orgasms. The strength and type depends on how and where she's stimulated. I didn't really understand that until I started exploring prostate play. I suspect that's what most people are describing, or they're being nice to their husbands/partners.

I can only give her what I consider "true"( leg shaking) orgasms if I'm thrusting hard into her g-spot (at a very particular angle) along with clitoral stimulation. It's not easy in the slightest. Even when I could fuck all night, and into the next day, she would only achieve those types of orgasms 3-4 times per hour.

I mentioned "almost" because the majority of my partners were multi-orgasmic. That's very, very, uncommon. Most women cannot orgasm from penetrative sex , and typically require clitoral stimulation at a minimum. I've dated women for whom achieving an orgasm was neigh impossible. One could only cum if she used a hitachi on her g-spot and clit simultaneously, another could only cum from oral + anal anal stimulation. One of my frequent hookups in college needed to restrain my arms and legs, grinding/sliding her clit and labia (hard) against my penis. Those women never experienced the "little" orgasms that my mutli-orgasmic partners did.

Oral has been the most reliable method for all of my partners but even that has been challenging at times.

I expect that the orgasm count here is a bit skewed for a variety of factors including; the women are more assertive about their needs/the men more accommodating, heavy use of sex toys, and much, much more oral than is typical. Finally, people who can achieve tons of orgasms are way more vocal about it.

Your experience is far more in line with most relationships. and I'm glad that you started this conversation.

 

Does this mean that ALL women are normal?

 

Once sometimes twice and very rare 3 times. She rarely confirms her climaxes and never has. But body language can indicate it.

She dies not like me to inquire about her status in fact often will upset her. I just monitor her breathing and motions combined with her moisture level.

 

Yes I have found that I can achieve an orgasm through thought alone. They might not be the body explosion type but I don’t always want those. I haven’t always been able to experience this. My mind needs to be in a ‘happy state’

 

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