Love / hate relationship to chastity...

IMHO, I think many of us have that love/hate relationship with our devices. Yes, they pinch a little sometimes and need a little extra cleaning to stay clean. Once you're wearing a device full time and your body adjusts to it's new normal you'll find most of time you don't know you're wearing it.
If you bend or do something else that pulls on your cage, it's a reminder that you're wearing a chastity device for a reason. I for one like that part. That tug is like my loving wife letting me know she's with me 24/7/365. It's a wonderful feeling to have our manhood controlled by our wives. You said it very well in your post "commitment, bond, intimacy, connection" You should feel proud your wife loves you enough to want to lock you up and control the four reasons you stated. Intimacy will go through the roof, trust me on that. You will not be able to do enough for your wife. Your desire to want to please her, wait on her etc. You need to try it out. It takes a little time to adjust, especially sleeping but you need to power through it. Men's night time erections in a cage will test you at first. Once your body trains itself that will stop.
I hope it works for you guys. Being kept in a chastity cage is a badge of honor. Your wife is going to LOVE the new you!

Feel free to PM me if you like

 

yes, you go through days thinking "why am I doing this?" or even "I don't want to be doing this" but, if and when release comes, the drop you get clearly suggests that yes, you did want to do it. There are good days and bad days, horny days and quiet days, submissive days and brattish days. None of that's under your control, so you just have to go with it. Enjoy the ride.

Good luck

 

IMO, the real difficulty is meeting a true soulmate who's really into our fetishes.

 

I don't know if it's as strong as hate, but I feel the same. When I'm wearing it and adjusted to it I do love it. The feelings of submissiveness, devotion, subjugation, desperation, etc are what I love the most.

What I really dislike is waking up with wanna be boners tormenting me lol. I like suffering for my wife but I wish I could eliminate that.

The other part that is difficult is putting it back on after a few days off. It was harder the first few times tho so maybe that gets easier as time goes on.

Oh and feeling emotional when I see porn or something and think about the easy sex I used to have. I think chastity is worth it but man it's so conflicting sometimes. I'm not a crier but I feel like I could break down one day lol. I kind of hope I do eventually and I'm not sure if that experience would ever be topped.

Anyway, for me, chastity is super conflicting, and I'd be really surprised if anyone that does this could honestly say they don't feel similar at times.

 

I have a direct conflict of interest with chastity devices. I want to wear my device all the time, but I am also a practicing nudist who doesn't like anything like that touching my skin (jewelry, watches, clothing, etc). That and wearing a fetish device in a family nudist setting is not going to fly. It creates a real battle for me.

 

Yeah, same for me as the above. There are days you don't like it, you want it off. Your KH's been out of it for a few days ill or whatever so you're not getting teased and you're feeling forgotten.

Like anything else you ebb and flow. Honestly, nothing says you can't take a "break" from chastity every so often. I've found it tends to reinvigorate the desire to be locked up by you, or the desire FOR you to be locked up by your KH.

In fact this happened to me this January, just after the New Year, we by mutual decision let me stay free after some fun sexy time. That lasted about a week...

 

I am nuturally submissive. Therefore I like that feeling of having no control and being restricted. But I must confess that from time to time there are some days (or maybe rather minutes) when I ask the question to myself if it is what I really want. It happens usually soon after my orgasm so... I often prefer not cumming rather than falling into that dillemma. If I am horny my submissive mind makes me happy with that state and it is seldom I 'hate' my fate.

 

Well first of all, my "permanent" device is not painful, not restricting - except of erections - and not messy. There's no practical reason for removing it, except airport security (and perhaps good taste, e.g. going to a funeral).

So that leaves us with the "pure" chastity experience; chastity with no other downsides.

My wife just likes me chaste and, now all the practical irritations are gone, has no reason to release me.

As for me. I don't share your ambivalence. Contemplating how long I will remained sealed is scary but also thrilling. I have no desire to be free, but knowledge of that lack of desire is also scary, and thus even more thrilling.

 

My kh/wife and I both are enjoying me being locked up. Like others have mentioned, its the unknown that keeps me going. Yes there are days where I just want to cut it off and go to town. But I calm down and reflect on the pleasure that I am providing to my wife. For my wife, she loves to tease and torment me to the extent of her needs and not mine. But my kh/wife is also learning self control keeping her sexual urges under control. The other morning I had a ball slip out and yes it did hurt like a son of a bitch. I asked her to unlock my cage so I can put it back on properly. So she did and before I could get it back on, her impulses took over. We started to play then she suddenly stopped, got up from the bed and demanded that I lock myself back up. I haven't seen this side of her in awhile. With her standing there I did what I was told to do. Once done she left the room. We always take time to communicate with each other in the safe zone. For us it is the back deck. Later on the day, she took me out side and explained to me that her sexual urges were running so fast and hard that she had to stop. I told her that it was her choice to do what she wanted to do with me. Her response was "what is the point of you being in a chasity cage and she doesn't want to go backwards". With a confused look on my face, asked her what she meant by going backwards. She explained before we started chastity she was loosing her sex appeal and started to push away. She was also afraid that I would seek out another woman for my needs especially when I am gone most of the week and she didn't want that to happen. But when we agreed to try the chastity lifestyle and saw that I was fully committed to her and her needs. It lit up a bomb fire in her with new emotions, feeling and thoughts on our lives.
In the long run you and your kh will always have ups and downs ( no pun intended), with emotions going crazy, sexual urges going haywire with anticipation but communicate with each other in safe, calm and open minded to each other's feelings, emotions, thoughts and needs.

You and your kh will relax and enjoy each other.

 

My GF loves sex as I do with her, and loves my cock, we have a fairly healthy sex life I think. We don't live together but we do spend extended times together, from several days to several weeks living together.

The longest I have experienced with no orgasms/sex is 24 days (five mins out per week for wash/inspection) and it was my GF who finally gave in (love her to bits, and she is serious hot haha).

I got to the stage where I accepted it. I sat myself down and had a good word with myself about it.

I genuinely want to experience zero ejaculations (maybe even boners) for at least 90 days, I want to know what is on the other side of that. But us getting there is proving difficult. No rush though.

Oh boy, I really want her to tie me and edge me, and then surprise me with the cage and tell me it's not coming off for at least a month, probably 2, more likely 3 haha. I might go crazy.

I might only want to do it for that long once ha!

She hasn't realised the power she has.

I love the thought of being caged all the time except when my love wants sex, which might be every day or might be once a week or once a month - but, the important thing to me is that it's her choice.

I love knowing that she has the keys and so she can be confident that I am not masturbating or chasing other women.

I love it because it massively increases my sex drive and my desire for my beautiful and sex GF.

I love it because I have laser like focus on her, but I worry about overwhelming her and so I think it would be healthy if I could turn some of that attention to work problems.

I love commiting every erection and ejaculation to her (caged or not), and I love her saying "no", it's hot. In fact I love that it is a sign of my commitment to her, and I think that is quite important.

I dislike it because sometimes I can't think straight as my mind is marinated in horny brain chemicals. This demonstrates a lack of acceptance in my view.

I dislike denying love-making to her and I want her to be happy.

I dislike how I turn into a one subject man, all I want to talk about is sex and how horny I am haha. I suspect after a month of total denial that might change as I settle into a new flow, and I think that is important - we haven't really found a flow with it yet, no consistency so to speak.

I dlslike painful nighttime boners but they do dissipate after a while.

I dislike chaffing and sore ballsack.

I dislike bending over to tie my shoes and a testicle being in the wrong place haha, ugh, feel sick just thinking about it.

 

love this post - submission, subjugation and desperation - All these words apply to me ,I'd add power exchange, humiliation and obedience.

When I'm in my cage for days at a time, Mistress and I really do communicate about the set up between us.

I love the feeling of powerlessness, the humiliation of not being able to orgasm together with an intense desire to fulfill Mistresses desires a) to have the cage temporarily removed b) to provide lip service to Mistress in/out if the cage knowing that PIV will never happen to me.

When I talk to Mistress about chastity and my submission she likes a) power trip /exchange, my subjugation , my humiliation at having to do everything she asks b) my inability to orgasm c) the fact that I've no real option but to do what she wants , whenever she wants , allied to her power over me.

We have a real symbiotic relationship with her always able to ultimately call all the shots.

 

I've learned to understand "that guy" who lives in my head and who doesn't care for being submissive and subservient. Whenever he comes out, I humor him for a day or two until he is inevitably overwhelmed by whatever hormones are raging in our body, but I'm careful to never let him get his way. (He's caused a lot of trouble in the past, and it's best to treat him with a long, heavy dose of sub space.) He eventually settles down peacefully, in chains, and generally doesn't make an appearance until an orgasm frees him to resume his naughtiness.

 

Pfft, get a hacksaw or dremel and leave her with the remains of the cage. See where the power is then.

 

I'm sure, if he hated the situation, he'd do exactly that.

I'm fairly certain that he, like many others here, enjoy the situation.

 

Yeah there are days when its on that Id like access to the cock to rub the pulse out of it.
But I am, magically, an attentive loving husband.

When its off I am, overall, an asshole with my wife, I am sad to say.

 

That would depend on how serious you were about putting her in charge when setting up your FLR. For example when you leave her with the remains of the broken chastity, she might retrieve the Quit Claim for your Harley Davidson, Corvette, Boat etc., from her safety deposit box and sell them on Craigslist. Her next move could be more significant. It all depends on what you setup, when you consented.

 

Ah, but then the kink is likely to go away. What would you choose? No kink or too much of it?

 

The choice is mine. I locked it up. Not her. I don't think she cares much. She did agree to hold the key, reluctantly.

I don't like it. It's just that sometimes I need it. She humors me.

 

As a frigheningly horny man with his dick in a plastic prison I choose kink, of course

 

For me I enjoy being caged and having my kh/wife in control of it. It has become one less decision that I have to make whether to play or not and also trying to see if she is in the mood for sex or not.
Even though I have given her the control if I don't care for something that she wants to do to me then the answer will be no. If she doesn't like it well then there's a problem and that will be the end of chastity life. It will be ended by me not her. That's why communication is important. At the end of the day as much we all say the kh has full control, we have the final decision on continuing to wear the cage or not. It's still our bodies.

 

And that is as it should be! I know Mrs Chaste wants to keep me locked for the rest of my days and would definitely try to convince me to stay locked if I wanted to end it. But in truth she wouldn't (couldn't) stop me! Although it is a "lifestyle" for us at the end of the day it is still a game! By the way I have no intention of giving it all up!

 

I wear a full belt most of the time (although I’m currently out and have been out for the last 10 days at her direction. I never really struggle with wearing my belt once it’s on and am happy to be in it and it helps make/ keep me submissive. I’ve gotten so used to it it’s not really restrictive for any of the activities I like to do. Although sometimes it can be a pain the overall benefits and feelings we both get from me being in chastity far exceed any minor issues with wearing a chastity cage full time. In a month we’ll be past the 6 year mark, although there has been a lot of break it time with my belt since we purchased it almost two years ago, once I got it figured out it’s probably been the most comfortable in terms of long term wear. With my old steel ball trap style cage, after about 2 weeks locked the weight of the cage on my testicles would make them sore on my right side. I thought it was just blue balls but as soon as I switched to the belt and went well past the 2 week mark I never had that pain again. The cages can be expensive so it’s hard to want to spend a lot of money on something you’re not sure is going to work for you. But if you’re planning on chastity long term the more expensive devices are worth the money as long as you know that style of device will work for you. I bought cheap steel cages off of eBay as well as my first belt to see if I’d like that style. If I hadn’t bought the cheap be any belt and liked it so much I’m not sure that I ever would’ve pulled the trigger on my Behind Barz belt.

The idea behind chastity is that the choice is hers in regards to when she wants to use you or allow you to touch yourself. However if your cage is painful and doesn’t feel like you’re breaking into it you should talk to your KH and maybe try some other cages or style devices. Otherwise, being in chastity takes the body a little while to get used to. You will find different techniques and tips for cleanliness as well as being locked up for extended periods.

 

This is spot on ! Very well put!

 

Absolutely, it is often a big pain and encumberment. In my case I did not have any particular interest in chastity: it was my girlfriend’s idea and she absolutely loves seeing me like that and keeping me that way by default. But the fact she wants and likes it so much, and that I ensure it because she wants me to, makes it hugely appealing to me.