Hi Everyone, This will be my first post of a hopefully very active blog. After being a single man toying with chastity on and off for several years I recently met a lady that I really liked. Well, some months went by and hanging out turned into dating, Fast forward another couple months and as in most new relationships it seems there is a period of figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. I took the opportunity to plant the seed that I like to be controlled, and as conversation and experiences progressed over the next few weeks and we were looking at toys online one night and she glanced over the chastity device section and said “wouldn’t it be funny if i made you wear one of those”. What the heck do i say to that ran through my mind. I quickly calculated and envisioned how a million different answers would be recieved. Everything from order it now to there is no F’ing way. Well I eventually, after a moments pause that didn’t go unnoticed, decided on saying “It might be fun, we would have to see” At which point we continued browsing. Now what i took away from this scenario was two things. 1. She doesn’t find the idea repulsive. 2. I still have an angle to introduce this into the relationship. Another week went by and we were taking turns being the dominant one to see how we liked it, even though i already knew I did not, and she said I don’t want you masturbating any time i don’t tell you its okay. My brain heard that and saw a door swing wide open to introducing chastity. So what I did is I masturbated without telling her, and I made certain she would know i had done it. i told her I don’t have the willpower not to (I’m not sure if thats true or not actually), and I waited for the gears to turn and the lightbulb to come on. I knew her well enough to know that for this to work she had to have the idea of it. Well the light bulb didn’t click that night, but it did the next morning. After she approached the topic i appeared to reluctantly agree and we decided on a device to order and placed the order. Well it arrived a week or so ago and after getting the fit right it has only been off once for sex and to check for damage, She loves it and wishes she thought of it sooner. I feel the title is appropriate as this thread will likely follow the “now what” since truthfully, I have no idea. Will this turn into a lifestyle for us? Will it become an occasional thing we do for some extra fun? Will we do it for a month and move on? I’m not entirely sure, but my wager would be somewhere between a lifestyle and occasionally. So stay tuned I suppose. Can’t wait to get unlocked again.....
This is where the two of you begin to really discuss your interests in chastity. Have you considered introducing her to this forum? Are you really interested in giving her control? Is she really interested in taking control? You can find out through trial and error (which may leave both of you only partially fulfilled) or you can talk it out and both get on the same page. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to follow anyone’s script but your own. Have fun on the journey. It can be incredibly fun and fulfilling.
Exactly... That's actually part of the fun, not knowing what will come next. It doesn't have to be occasional fun, nor full time, it can be both of those at different times. The essential thing is that you both enjoy whatever it is you're doing, if you continue communicating well, there's no reason that you won't.
Since Hubby got us involved in this site, if I have learned nothing else it is if you actually love each other nothing works as well as open honesty.
I can't agree more! I talk all about Honesty and Communication being cornerstones of any healthy relationship (on my podcast), but even more vital once you wander off the "normal" path! The "what now" IS in fact a fun part. But be honest, patient, encouraging, and supportive, and you (@smallboy4686 should have relatively smooth sailing.
Agree, I'm a little turned off by the hiding your feelings and deception and manipulation you outline. Why not just tell her you're submissive?
I think most subs avoid conflict and many are ashamed of their desires. If their partner has reacted negatively in the past when they share, they quickly bottle things up. Open communication is a two way street and your reactions to thing will train your partner to be guarded. Most communication issues are due to poor active listening skills. Listeners also have to learn to not extrapolate and assume things without clarification. It’s difficult because we view everything through lenses that are filtered by, experience, society, presuppositions, etc.
Good idea, but do ask her if she'd like the books before you buy them. That way, she's agreed in principle to read them up front and you can together anticipate them arriving before they do. Just presenting someone vanilla with a "how to" manual on your preferred kink can be a little overwhelming otherwise.
Personally, I’d avoid books like the one written by Green! They go too fast to things like punishment, humiliation and cross-dressing. It’s enough to make ‘vanilla’ lady run a mile! These links may be a better place to start: https://denyingthumper.com/2015/07/15/why-in-the-hell/ https://denyingthumper.com/2015/08/05/keyholding-101/ https://lockedinlust.com/what-is-male-chastity/
OMG! your low door in the wall to the secret garden! you have been Given the key! You sly subby you! What did you order? Spill it right now! (the details, not your load foo...) Pics. we want pics!