Finances in an FLR

When my wife and I married, we had separate accounts. My wife does not work, but she does have money left from the sale of her parent's home, after they passed. I made clear from the outset that her parents money was hers; I wanted no connection. She keeps that in a private account. I have no idea how much, or where.

We have our finances in a joint account; her card and my card draw from the same account. We have peripheral accounts for various things; this account pays that bill, that account pays this bill, and so on.

We do our banking online, to some degree. The paychecks are direct deposit. I never see them. My wife has the password to the online account, and I don't have access. I can make small purchases, and do so when in the field for expenses, but she manages the finances. She's better at it. I suggested the arrangement, and she agreed. She's shown no interest in giving me the password. I haven't asked.

 

Can understand that. It sounds like it works well.

 

My wife is a tax professional and accountant by trade but I manage all the household expenses. Of course, she will ask and offer suggestions, but I am the person who does the vast majority of the bill paying. Until a few years ago, I did all the investment directions and only recently she has done most of this work. She is far more familial with all the tax changes and how it impacts her business and our tax implications.

 

We both have a joint account over the past 6 years I have shown her how to pay all the bills on line and she is in charge of everything now even if I need money for lunch or what ever we need she tight with cash

 

We have the perfect setup for us...

We each have our own bank account, and a joint account.

Household bills that reoccur monthly are budgeted for and are paid from the joint account. I handle the payments (no need for her to have to be bothered handling).

I have direct deposit... and get paid twice a month. 1/2 of the monthly bills is direct deposited into joint account, $100 goes into my personal account for gas, etc. the balance gets deposited into her personal account. If I were to run out of the $100 allowance, I can ask her to Zelle me more money. I better have a good reason to ask

Our assets remain in both names!

My wife needs control and accountability. Money was creating problems in our marriage, and this arrangement helps us!

 

Sounds like a very workable approach as you both like the setup.

 

So far, she hasn't taken control of my spending. If she chose to, I would happily comply. I spend a lot of money because I take care of a lot of stuff, but I only spend a fairly small portion on myself ... and it has been (naturally) dropping quite a bit since she took the reins.

 

We both have our own accounts - for savety reasons as well as to keep certain investments clean and separated from each other.
Mostly (for day to day life) we use our shared account though we both have access to. Having to travel a lot there would be no other practical way - even should we wish it otherwise (which we dont).

Apart from this I got to ask if I want to buy anything thats not sorely needed and costs more than an average dinner.

For us this works well without overregulating anything.

 

That seems pretty reasonable. I wouldn't mind having to ask ... but I don't mind not having to ask, either

(But I'm glad I didn't have to this morning when I ordered an expensive toy for myself ... so we can start from this point forward )

 

It depends on the couple I guess. But for us, my wife makes a lot more than me and is naturally assertive. In her previous marriage she hated how her husband always moaned and questioned any shopping she did, even for essential items.

So we both find it liberating letting her control the finances. And she's never cruel or curtailing if I need or wish some money for something. A lot is spent on her very large and expensive wardrobe but thats because she earns it and I benefit from getting to worship a highly successful, well dressed lady.

 

My Lady handles all our finances. I've no clue what we have or what our income is. I'm free to see but I just have no interest. I do have a job, but it's unpaid as I work at Her company.

 

Working for Wife's company sounds like a perfect solution for a guy in FLR .

 

The reality is that finances are a lot of “work” in many respects which fall on me to manage.

 

I handle all the investing of money. She handles all the spending of money.

 

We have only had joint accounts for pretty much the entirety of our relationship (incl before marriage), all money is pooled and decisions around spending are discussed, to an extent. I have always earned more than her, but that has never factored into the decision making nor any "balance of power" when it comes to what money is spent on.

My main tasks are ensuring there is money in the spending account whenever she wants / needs, we more or less work to a weekly budget, but if there are extras wanted / needed then the budget is adjusted as required. I have to make sure all the bills are paid and that there is no financial stress, this is more important to her than having to worry about the day to day ins and outs.

We have goals that we are working towards which makes things easier (reducing the mortgage as quickly as possible), but we try and balance this with still enjoying life. We sit down maybe twice a month to look over the budget, make sure things are on track (or if not, where the money has gone) and this level of involvement satisfies her.

 

All our assets are co-named.. i paid for them all.. once im dead, she gets everything. So does my bank accounts, pension funds and cars. I only registered my harley under my name since she doesnt have a license. She is the one working and bringing back the bacon now.. she does all the finances.. i pay for groceries, gym /club membership ect from my little passive investment.. im a house sub-husband.. im a slave to her.. she loves me.. because i lick her well..

 

My longest owner, and later my wife, had control of all the money. Most of the property was in her name. It was a major mistake. When she died in 2018, I almost lost the house because while we had put my name on the title, the loan was in her name and they won’t transfer the loan. I couldn’t get a loan since I had no assets or credit record. One of the cars was in both names, and it ended up getting totaled a few days after she died, fortunately, in this state it’s fairly easy to change names on cars. She told me she had life insurance, but since I wasn’t allowed to deal with money matters, I had no idea where the insurance was if she had it, and still haven’t found it. She was a proponent of “living in the now”, so I ended up at retirement age with a house that’s not paid off, about $50K in a 401K, and a pretty lack luster social security account.

A rule with my current Dominant is that I have control over my money and assets. Other than bills that need paid, she can forbid me spending money, or we can discuss and if I agree I may help financially, but that is strictly my choice with no coercion on her part.

 

Yes.. things get messy due to financial complexity.. we only entered comfortably into total control by her once i feel confident enough that no third party (aka blood sucking banks) are involved and all the papers are clear. We have duly paid off our mortgage dues. Hope you have sorted out the matters. You are wise with your current owner.. you can totally surrender your penis.. but not necessary along with brain.

 

Finances are important to my wife and part of our FLR. We are older and don't have any debt or a mortgage. She does not work - I make the money. She controls most of our savings in her accounts (that's what she needs for her to feel secure and in charge). I must pay all the monthly bills and her credit cards. I can buy what I want when I want. I will ask her if it's an expensive purchase (like a car). I have my own credit cards. She has no desire to make me account for every dime. That's not a good life for me and it's extreme.

 

You are a male slave existing to support all her needs and desires..

 

No I am not a slave. I am in an FLR. My wife does not consider me a slave and I don't either