How do I deal with complete chastity?

This is an interesting conversation, and I am enjoying reading the different perspectives. I do want to respond to this one point:

That's not really a sound assumption. When people are not getting their needs met they often persist for some time, hoping things will improve. It can take quite a while to let go of the dream.

 

Total chastity is really tough. I'm in that boat too, and as exciting as it seems, it can be a struggle, and not always fun. It is rewarding though, and is really a day to day thing, and not every day is the same. I had a tough time accepting that erections were not allowed. For some reason, that was the thing that got to me. Giving up genital pleasure was not as big a deal, but giving up erections is essentially living impotent, but not being impotent. Having said that, caged erections become the norm, and being locked becomes the normal way of things. Sometimes the reality, and duration of what I've agreed to and am living by really hits me, and other times it's exciting. Sometimes I get really down, sometimes frustrated, sometimes it's the best thing ever.

Finding the right device is crucial. The plastic stuff is bulky under clothes, as as was mentioned, the plastic will hold odours more than metal, and require more cleaning. I do have to go unlocked from time to time. Sports, motorcycle, and occasional chafing/pinched skin are the usual culprits. We compromise there, and I wear a ring behind the glans, as a symbolic chastity in those cases. Erections are not allowed, unlocked. Get a few devices. Even the stainless ones on Amazon are pretty decent. I have different ones for different activities and situations.

 

They do, don't they? But also, they often discover their true needs through persistence and experimentation. He's asking how to cope, not whether to cope. So in this case I think he's OK. Plus, what's a few months?

 

I was just wondering if you could tell us how she articulated her desire for your chastity, and how she sees your long-term relationship unfolding?

 

It gets a lot easier when you begin experience and enjoy her orgasms as if they were your own. My wife and I had a session the other night where she just went from one to the next (her on top as usual). Each orgasm she had I enjoyed as if it was my own.

These days I don't even begin to think about having my own orgasm unless given permission. It literally doesn't cross my mind. For many months it was impossible. I'd think about baseball, granny panties, anything to prevent me from getting too wound up and wanting to cum. I could prevent the orgasm but it was mentally challenging. No more. Long periods in chastity rewire your brain I guess. I love sex and having an orgasm of my own is a bonus if permitted one. But I don't need the orgasm anymore.

 

Well @Locked.Up.Boy you asked for advice, now it up to you what your going to do with it. As you can see their are lots of people that are willing to help you. Enjoy.

 

Ask yourself, is she clear, concise, and direct? Are you in return?

My 2 cents is since PIV and controlled intimacy (personal and interpersonal) is the standards bar, how do I get my intimacy needs met? Talk and be honest.

Some folks here will be fapping away to the though of your reality and to them ... fap on. To you, you do have a rarity and unique situation, and as you stated your's and her kinks line up, so if she means a lot and is valued ... tell her and then ask how do we make this relationship and intimacy work since it is about give and take.

 

Being kinky, and in a kink relationship, I've found that there is often the tendency to want to do all the kinky things there are to do, and jump straight to the intense stuff asap. Full chastity is a really big commitment, and takes a lot of work and understanding. For myself, we worked up to it over time, built the kink relationship and trust....Got a bunch of devices, tried various things, then made the jump to full chastity, once we were sure it's something I could do, and was something that she really wanted me to do for her, and in our case, that my wife was good with it too, which is a long story. Anyhow, if you do go for it, there's a few of us here who do it too, and can help if you need to discuss any issues.

 

Sounds exactly like my life. Always locked. I'm reminded sex is bad for me. Teased daily. Advice enjoy the lifestyle. A lot of guys would love to be in your position but wouldn't last a day. It's an accepted lifestyle. enjoy!!

 

I've been locked, no release, 512 days. Mistress wants me completely shut off from any kind of sex by day 1,000

 

@Locked.Up.Boy As you mentioned you share much of the same kinks, does she practise some of them with you? Couldn't that provide something to replace outright teasing?

It is a brave decision to go so quickly to total chastity. Many would have taken the longer route to that. As you have managed the most difficult first weeks you will probably manage further. You will adjust and learn to tease yourself mentally. You have found a treasure trove, hang on to it, don't let her down.

 

You have found gold . Don't fuck this up by asking for stuff.
Instead tell her everything about you that you can think of ,
Even if you think it may turn her off. And ask her to do the same.
I did this in the early part of my relationship - later marriage .
It was the best thing i ever did. Their were some things i could not tell her in person so i made a tape for her. Every personal
and kink thing i could think of . She sent back a letter that was
even worse ( or better ) Married for 36 years and we did EVERYTHING. And only 2 mild arguments the whole time.
Honest full open communication is the key to a perfect relationship.

 

Bingo! Frank communication is the only answer. Both of you need to put your cards on the table, so to speak, and lay out your expectations as fully as possible. Then you (and she) have to decide if those expectations are compatible, where there is room for compromise, etc.

FWIW- my beautiful wife/KH and I have evolved to a "Complete Chastity" or "Rigid Chastity" relationship over time. My last cage-free erection and orgasm occurred 17 months ago, and I service her sexually most nights. I am happily locked 24/7, with weekly or as needed brief removals for washing/inspection, etc. My sex organs now are my mouth, fingers and anus. Good luck!

 

Re: communication

The OP can't hear you. He made two posts in October 2018, and has not been heard from since then.

This thread is no more! It has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-THREAD!!

Oh man, I crack myself up sometimes.

 

How to deal with complete abstinance (and lockup)? In this case, I'd find a different cage. I found the CB6000's to be entirely unsatisfactory, and a compromise on every level. None of the compromises were good. For an active person, especially an athletic person, I submit that it's not a good choice. Further, I'd give very careful consideration to potential injury from wearing a device like the CB6000 while playing or competing. The device does NOT protect, and can only elevate the potential for serious injury. Especially given the tendency of a cage to push your most vulnerable and external organs forward, and then provide a hard device nearby which can crush, damage, splinter, or puncture those and surrounding tissues, I'd have a serious talk about removing the device during athletics or high-demand events.

If chastity is the issue, specifically not experiencing a sexual release, then You're unlikely to drop your drawers in the middle of a football field and lose control. Removing the device during those time periods does not imply any loss of chastity, but does speak to safety, hygiene, and common sense. Ultimately, it's your call, as it's your genitalia, and in terms of a relationship, it's a matter of communication and reaching a point at which you can both agree.

If the goal is to prevent an erection, rather than a sexual release, then continual use of a cage may be in order, but do bear in mind the elevated potential for injury, and give some thought to a more appropriate cage for the circumstance. Soldiers no longer wear heavy steel armor into battle; more flexible, lighter, breathable options have been devised. Likewise, one's under-armor might be best selected appropriate to the application. You could wear a block of cement there, but far better choices abound.

So far as facing the cold reality of no release from central prison, bear in mind that even maximum security prisoners get some yard time; this may be a matter of discussion with your parole board, and perhaps some negotiation on the schedule.

I can speak for no one else, but were my wife to insist on regular sexual attention while denying me, I might find that as fulfilling as having my own release; the opportunity to service her would check every box on my list, even with complete denial. In my own case, denial and lack of release isn't my nightmare, but rather insufficient opportunities to pleasure her. While it is frustrating on many levels to not have a release, the human body does have a safety valve, and my ultimate emotional, mental, and sexual satisfaction isn't found in my release, but the opportunity to partner in hers. It may be worthwhile to focus on that.

 

A fellow Monty Python fan!

 

Eh, it’s a good conversation with some good advice useful to many others. Maybe his girlfriend put a pornblocker on his computer and he couldn’t come back to see us. If I had a husband he would definitely not have unrestricted access to porn!

 

Beautiful plumage though.

 

It's funny, but I don't consider this forum to be porn.

I was someplace recently, and using the free public wifi. I couldn't get into this forum because of the content restrictions. Yet, I had full access to Tumblr, so...?