A former man living an illusionary life as an Alpha male involved in the BDSm community for over three decades, raced motorcycles, enjoyed extreme skiing, scuba and sky diving, competitive trap shooting, participate in skeet and sporting clays. Professionally I’m a partner of a commercial and industrial brokerage firm. I had my first dressing experience when I was ten sneaking into my mothers closet when my parents were away and loved the feeling of her pantyhose and panties. I’d often put them on and sneak around at night running around the neighborhood behind cars, obviously the thrill was driving me. By the time I was in high school I was conditioned to be an Alpha and got involved in manly illusions early on. It was well into adulthood that I realized something was amiss, I was successful and had been dating a number of beautiful women and lived with several. However, when I was living with a former beauty queen and couldn’t get erect I knew there was an issue. When she eventually moved out I found a pair of her panties and like many of you that rekindled my latent sissy tendencies. However, a lifetime of Alpha illusions in business and play soon had me being more dominant than submissive with other gurls and men. I’ve always had interested suitors, but after a lifetime of Alpha illusions myself, I found little interest in wannabe dominants, those with little or no social skills or limited perspectives that typically ended at their noses. I went through the early stages of dressing, got better, learned makeup, bought clothes and attended trans and cross-dressing clubs for years, participating in the annual Viva Wildside in Las Vegas for years and made several friendships. Over the past twelve or thirteen years I’ve had few Masters, but the few I’ve had have been successful, fit Black Alpha men. All understood the concept, control the mind the body will follow. Intense people require intensity and during my journey I’ve experienced extreme experiences of humiliation and pain which eventually leads to a dark intense hunger that pulls one further into the abyss.
Val, I too am a tech-corporate alpha. In the last 10 years I have began hormones 10 years ago and transitioned to living full-time. An interesting phenomenon that I have experienced is that even when I was taking high doses of estrogen, I was still that aggressive CEO. I never felt like "making cookies for the boys." My best friend is also an alpha like me. If I remained my alpha self, we would kill each other. I value our relationship so much that I acquiesce to har and take a passive role. I found as a dominatrix that those in the C suite, those who have absolute power, the ones who make decisions, those who the organization turns to in times of crisis, are the ones who find a vacation in having someone else make decisions for them. I feel safe with her. We have a deep romantic relationship (even though we don't have sex with each other). I wanted to try chastity, and she is an experienced expert in it, guided me. She has also pierced my nipples and my penis. The PA piercing has been a form a chastity as it heals. When I feel that I need punishment, she will punish me. When I go to a party or club, I loved getting fucked by 10+ guys. I really get where you are coming from. BTW, you are extremely beautiful in your pic.
Absolutely gorgeous photo. I too have been pushed into Alpha-dom in my life, a retired professional athlete, and now construction crew chief. I go back and forth between personas constantly. I find true happiness in this form over my other. A very good story. Let us all live a life in which we decide what we want to be over what we have to be. Take care. M.
Thank you all for your kind words and welcoming me to the forum. I look forward to getting to know you all. Val
I am so happy to see you in here dear Val . After following you at Fetlife for years I know that you are a true inspiration for us sissies. I look forward to follow you in here, warm welcomes
Thank you Kikki for the warm welcome and for your appreciation of my Fetlife posts. All the best, Val
Welcome to the mansion. You take beautiful photos and have an amazing story. Hope we get to hear more.
Thank you for your wecoming message. As an old dresser and switch with a great career i simply enjoy life and don't really expect to find someone that fits my "life" situation. Living at the beach and the cost of living in LA in general places a big demand on resources.
Thank you for your appreciation and kind words. As an evolving sissy faggot that has given up illusions of manhood i'm sure you will see and read more.