When did it move from fetish to a lifestyle for you?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by sissyEliza85, Feb 17, 2021.

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  1. sissyEliza85
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    sissyEliza85 Chastity addict

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    Who has seen it go from a fetish that you engaged in at times, regardless of lock up length to a lifestyle?

    Who initiated it? Over what timeframe did it occur?

    I am locked currently and am thinking of making that move.
     
  2. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    Think we are approaching that point. Wife's taking point on this.
     
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  3. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Long term member

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    about 2 and a half years ago, I asked her about being in charge and locking me up. we were already kinky, her reluctantly as a bottom. I think I've been unlocked a total of 2 months this whole time. I'm getting snipped then PA'd in the next few months and just spent about 1k on a custom device so I think I'm stuck in it now, like it or not!
     
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  4. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    Congratulations
     
  5. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Long term member

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    thanks! it's been more than 2 years but it feels like it's gone so fast my head spins.
     
  6. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    I would say November 15 month ago.

    i think my wife always enjoyed the play, but never believed she could fully take charge.

    Then 15month ago, we were watching a TV should with a powerful woman, who is obviously on top.
    I was already locked so she started trying to take charge and met little resistance She loved it.

    a few weeks later , I asked her when she planned to unlock me. She looked at me seriously and said: « you haven’t understood ; I won’t unlock you. I want you to always be locked fro now on. »

    it hasn’t bee absolutely the case as she unlocked me 2 month later. Then after another couple month, she relocked me, and it’s been 9months!!!
     
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  7. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    For me it started when I got a cage that I knew would be wearable 24/7, and around that time I finally opened up to my Wife about my submissive nature.

    Chastity figured heavily in those discussions, and for me wearing the cage became part of affirming both my status in our marriage and my nature as a not-quite-gender-conforming-mostly-heterosexual-cis-male.
     
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  8. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I think as soon as I got a custom device and Xena realised she could lock me up more or less on whim.
     
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  9. lovetohearno
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    lovetohearno Active member

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    We started with chastity and orgasm denial about 5 years ago. It very quickly (within a year or less) became the norm for us. 24/7 lifestyle now.
     
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  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    when Mistress ask me to move from Spain and come here.
     
  11. dharmaproject
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    dharmaproject New member

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    It felt very real when she didn’t unlock me or allow me to orgasm for our anniversary, my birthday and Christmas. I knew then she was taking the denial seriously.
     
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  12. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    We started in March of 2020 when I told her about it and gave her the keys. By the time June came around she hit her stride and I stayed locked and denied. January she came up with a set of rules for me to follow which I had to agree to. I truly hope this never ends I love this lifestyle.
     
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  13. Doczilla421
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    Doczilla421 Long term member

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    For me it was never a fetish, it was a means to stop me from playing with myself. After searching on the net everything lead to chastity. So I bought one off line. It was the Vice. When it came, I put it on and told my wife what I had been doing and a possible solution. She was pissed off about me Jerking off all the time. I gave her the keys and she said, get use to that thing.
    I figured she would let me out after a day or two. That was Nov 15th 2017. After a while she had me buy a more secure cage from Lori. My last orgasm, which was ruined in the cage was July 31 2018. Since then total denial and locked.
    My continued lock up is for good, and she hasn't deviated from her word. It sucks but I don't have control over it. 3 years later and I haven't seen my penis without steel wrapped around it.
     
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  14. gary170
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    gary170 Long term member

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    About three years ago realease was get less frequent and my wife was becoming I guess addicted to it she hated me Un locked so it has evolved into the norm love my wife and best marriage ever
    Could not imagine not been in a cage now lol
     
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  15. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    She relented and let me get a PA as I had struggled for a couple of years with various devices and base ring chafing.

    The PA changed everything. The second she saw I could go 24/7 with a device that's exactly where chastity stayed for me.

    I've only been unlocked for sex play and then locked back up ever since.
     
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  16. Love seeing him locked
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    Verified Female

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    Has your wife made you watch the porn you used to be addicted to while caged? I do that to my husband often.

    BTW, we live in NC too. I haven't seen many of us on the forum.
     
  17. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    We are 3 plus years in now. Just a few months ago she made the comment that our lifestyle now is no longer new, it is who we are now and feels very natural to her. Of course the shift was well before then, but that cemented it.
     
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  18. Doczilla421
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    Doczilla421 Long term member

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    No she doesn't make me watch porn but she does make me service her which makes me even more horny. I always ask for a release but she always says maybe tomorrow, which never happens.
    That's cool that you live in NC. I live on the north eastern part near the VA line.
     
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  19. ShirleyNotMyRealName
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    Funny you should ask. It just became lifestyle this week.
    She discovered that although I was offering chastity, I was not honoring that. She asserted control this week. No longer was this a game for me. This is her game now and the rules are different.
     
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  20. Smallerthanmicro88
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    Personally, as the chastity sissy in an advanced FLR that incorporates cuckolding, the switch from fetish to lifestyle took place the moment I was unable to get an erection despite the woman of my dreams dressed in the outfit she knew blew my mind. Only problem was, that the outfit blew my mind only while in chastity without the possibility of sexual intercourse with her. At one point, the fetish play on Friday night “sticks”... personally it took me 3 years of kinky weekends for it to stick but when it did... it seemed to happen without warning. I went two weeks without sex or masturbation... didn’t crave an orgasm and all that despite being in a state of constant arousal due to the fact that my princess was taking really good care of herself. Funny thing is, I made sure she took the time to take extra good care of herself... so that she would feel great about herself, not to maintain arousal. Then I gave myself an orgasm but quickly realized after it was over, that I hated the down and proffered the “struggle” which was becoming less of a struggle on top of it. So back in the cage and back to encouraging her to look great and feel great because she is great, the constant state or arousal and a steady decline in my desire to have sex with my princess. And then she tried to spark sex... I couldn’t get hard, I broke down, she was confused as to how kinky nights led to this and BAM... the 8 week nothing period. 8 weeks of living a great life while just completely ignoring our sex lives because they scare the shit out of us. And then BAM, she started to see a difference in me, I fell in love with the improvements in us and the non sexual benefits to chastity femdom came to light and were undeniable. We never really discussed our plan moving forward. We just understand that for now, we love who we’re are as individuals and as a couple while in a relationship like this. Truthfully, the more time that passes, the more I crave to please her. I never thought this was possible but it is... it truly desire to please her. In every way. And work towards her being happy at the end of the day, everyday without every thinking about my cock or an orgasm. I will say however... WARNING TO ALL MEN NOT YET AT MY POINT... I have not exaggerated so far and I won’t now... this burning desire to please eventually applied to her sexual needs. It did take some time to get there... but I did and you might to. Problem is, by then, the idea of her experiencing an orgasm you were never able to give her no longer makes you want to snap like the traditional man, it also doesn’t make you want to shrivel up in a corner and cry... I AM BEING PERFECTLY HONEST WHEN I TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL CRAVE HER ORGASM AS IF IT WERE YOUR OWN. So please, future submissives, this truly did happen to me. I took years, but it happened. So if this is not something you are willing to accept as a possible version of your relationship than stop immediately. If you can that is. My rule of thumb now for those who are starting to be confused, go with it. If you are not truly a chastity sissy in the core of your being, you will never find yourself in a relationship like that. And... if you are a chastity sissy in the core of your being... well then you probably will... but you’ll be too happy to look back.
     
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  21. MRS.Lilith
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    MRS.Lilith Kitchen Mistress
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    About two years ago we realised that with my health issues it wasn't feasible for me to be a sub anymore (I am a switch and so is my husband) so we decided that I would become a Domme instead.
    And right now I am not even sure I ever want to sub again, being a Domme has proved much more pleasant and suitable for me.
     
  22. Smallerthanmicro88
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    That’s the way things should be anyways! In my opinion, at least!
     
  23. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    The term "jumping to the deep end of the pool" just got a very realistic meaning.
     
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  24. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    over 20 years now
     
  25. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Step by step.

    For example, last week I was spending a great evening having sex with my lover. She opened the sealed envelope containing the key and opened my lock, telling me that she gets all wet from the idea that I keep myself chaste for her (and some other people as well), especially that I appreciate her needs above mine.

    After very pleasurable vanilla sex, I locked myself again and sealed a new envelope after putting the key in.

    The same evening I got to my girlfriends place, quite late. When getting to bed, we kissed and hugged and she teased me lightly, me having the lock on. We slept, me having the lock on.

    Yesterday was somewhat similar day, I met my lover (unlock, lock) and went to visit my GF ... and I'm still locked as I write this. She'll use her key when she feels the need.

    I don't know ... am I getting old or what, but "once a day" is quite OK, and I don't seem to desire more.

    Couple of weeks ago I needed to take the cage off, some skin irritation or such. I texted my GF whether it would be OK to have a JOI session with Shibby. She said OK and I finally lost my JOI virginity with Shibby. I must admit, it was magnificent. I sprayed cum all over me after being controlled by Shibby for an hour or more.

    And after the skin was OK again, I put the lock on and was again chaste for the ladies.

    Someone might say I was masturbating and that someone would not be completely wrong. I'd like to think I was submitting to Shibby. At the end of the day I asked and got permission from my KH, and that's good enough for me :)
     
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