Nogasm/Protogasm

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by MsMoneyPenny, Jan 31, 2021.

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  1. MsMoneyPenny
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    I’m not sure where to post about this. We’re in a somewhat new FLR, with kids, in a seemingly heteronormative life. We recently tried a nogasm machine and it was such a turn on to hear him in the other room. I like “ignoring” or purposely doing things that will get a reaction. I get that he wants to be denied...but how often should I actually let him cum? I mean the idea of not cumming is not for me...I want to every time and multiple times. He likes ruined orgasms and teasing. I know it’s different for everyone so your answer isn’t his, but I just need more info!
     
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  2. gary170
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    gary170 Long term member

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    We have been playing with chastity for many years now and we are in our 50s with our kids all grown up and left
    It has progress to the point now where I never get any orgasms on through anal and my wife of 25 years gets lots it works for us and we have never been so happy love her to bits and she me
    I think the longer I went the more strict I wanted my wife to be now she has decided thays it for me locked is only choice very exotic for us both
    Just our experience hope it of sme help :)
     
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  3. Locked Unloaded
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    You're right that this will vary from person to person so I've tried to give an answer based on a scale. Talk together to find out why chastity turns him on sexually and whether there are other reasons for wanting it. In my case, for example, my hinter-brain has latched on to and perverted a biological, feminist aspect that I should have fewer orgasms than my female partner :oops:
    1. Is it just a per session thing as a way of spicing up heteronormative sex?
    2. Is it a version of extended foreplay where he would expect to orgasm the next time you have sex (as opposed to a teasing session)?
    3. Is it the suspense where he never knows whether he will get to cum this time... but would expect to cum every 2-3 session? 4-5 sessions?
    4. Is it a longer term thing where an orgasm is a gift from you to him that he should have no expectations about?
    5. Is it even longer term denial where he's in it for the "ride" and an orgasm is almost a sign of failure?
    Note that I've tried to avoid timescales here because I don't think that's relevant. What is relevant, I think, is where his mind is at and how you can use/subvert those expectations.

    I would suggest having these conversation at two different times; firstly, before starting a chastity lock-up; secondly, towards the end of a chastity lock-up. I'm willing to bet you'd get two different conversations ;) Also, if you listen carefully, I think you'd get two answers mixed into the conversation; the realistic one and the fantasy one.

    Having got to a position on the "scale", it might also be worth talking about whether that's where he would be happy to stay or whether he wants to try and get "better" and move up the scale (or down it). This may also give you fodder for the games to come!

    I'm conscious that I've focussed on him rather than you but, I hope, it's because your question was about him rather than a male egocentricity on my part. But whatever the outcome of all that is, you absolutely need to then re-focus it all back to whether this works for you personally and the you together.

    TL;DR version: Longer than either of you think possible. After all, chastity isn't really real until you really want out
     
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  4. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    For me it's usually once every 7 days.

    Iso.
     
  5. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    heteronormative sex

    do they just mean vanilla sex involving a heterosexual one male and one female couple?

    because this sounds very much like yet another bullshit term to ignore.
     
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