Being a better Chastity Slave For Her!

Have her lead by example, it is the quality of a good leader. Follow her lead.

 

I can certainly understand the difficulties you face in such a unique but desirable marriage. I would think it would be next to impossible not to have occasional lapses, even for the best of submissives. I find i vary in the intensity and desire to submit, even with constant feedback, so perhaps you are experiencing that cycle too which makes you more vulnerable to snap replies or outbursts. When i do find myself veering away from how i want to act, i just try to remind myself how much i love submitting to my owner and how lucky i am. It may not always work, but some quick reflection may help.

 

She should restrain and punish you more often - it'll help.

 

First, kudos to both of you for enjoying such a lengthy and obviously happy relationship and journey together. I am sure it's not all butterflies and rainbows, or easy by any stretch, but the commitment level is at an extremely high level in a world of submissives who are not sure where the level of their submission is, and are always trying to take it higher, and do so using a dominant figure to help push us.

I think we all have lapses where invariably we revert to the masc and dominant minded person the world shaped us into in our formative years. When I get mad/upset/pushed the wrong way, I start ripping everything off and using our safe word. I hate that I do, and want to stay in the moment but alas, I'm human.

In these moments it's hard for a dominant to employ more dominance, although it's exactly what's needed. It's a two way street, because obviously if we could just be more submissive, we would be. I try to handle it on a case by case basis, and knowing that I absolutely will be right back to wanting to submit in the short term, try to fall back, remind myself I do this for fun and sexual pleasure, and move past it.

I think, although could be wrong, most Dommes prefer our sub selves to our Alpha one, and I would say it's part of the process, given their need to control and maintain.

Good luck. Being a submissive is easy while submitting to that which we like. It's not when it isn't, becomes boring, you feel neglected, or are not able to play it out to your tastes when you want to. I go through this too, and seem to have levels to it that are hard to simply do on command at times.

 

I am becoming a fan of all posts @Pretty Monnica as you also write from a lived perspective!

After everyone of these moments, W/we always stop and figure out what the actual problem was that caused me to get surly. I can say that 99.999% of the time, the root of the problem is not my Governess. In the same way if She snaps at me, I'm likely not at the root of it. Reflecting on what the core issue that causes the vanilla surliness is key, because once you figure it out, you can deal with it much faster. We're actually much better problem solvers as submissives, because "alpha" and "masculine" are just codes for unfeeling bowling balls, and I certainly am not at my best when I act that way.

 

i could not agree more! And just do as you are commanded!

 

I do share the behavior and came to the conclusion it is very normal. As submisse and in love with my Mistress I am, I do exist as individual and don’t define myself online by my role, as much as I am always sexually controlled. And it is my duty to develop myself and exist by myself to offer an interesting counterpart to my D, and not turn into a doormat!

 

I have learned over 24 yrs of marriage that my natural proclivity for sarcasm and knee jerk reaction against being told what to do are counterproductive and cause unnecessary tension between us. I have no special hints on how to be more submissive except that I try be aware of any actions I take that justifiably annoy Mistress and to catch myself and promptly apologise for doing/saying them. Mistress appreciates seeing that I am trying to improve myself and regret any distress that I cause her.

 

@SlaveOfMrsChastityXO hi mate. Thanks so much for sharing. May I ask, when you started chastity early on, were you more in a relationship where you were the dominant partner? I’ve only started this for a couple of months with my gf now and I’ve always been more of the dominant person in the relationship and finding it harder and harder to submit. Sometimes it even scares me how much she is starting to enjoy it.

also I wanted to ask, I’m sure there’s time when both of you are physically apart. How’s the arrangement like then? My normal arrangement now is to be locked for 3 days a week with no unlocks. But she will be going away for a month or so over Christmas and she intends to keep me locked for the entire time without release unless absolutely necessary. Kinda scares me but I’m not sure what to propose to her as an alternative

 

Why don’t you surgically remove your balls? That’ll show your devotion and keep you submissive forever....

 

Great in theory, huge health problems IRL.

 

We had always been a fairly even partnership, without either taking a strong lead unless required by a situation or personal proficiency. She has taken the lead with enthusiasm and creativity. We are both satisfied with our relationship.

 

Maybe swift punishment. I get soap in mouth or paddle for my bad choice of words.

 

It's been a while since you started this thread. I'm wondering if you managed to improve your behaviour and become less snippy, as you call it.

 

Yours has been an interesting progression into chastity and submission. How about starting a thread to tell your whole story of the last 15 years? I' m surely not the only one who would like to read it.

If you like fiction you might enjoy a story I have started: A Useful Husband. Link here:
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/a-useful-husband.40448/