Having to re-set myself.

It's been a busy summer and fall. My keyholder moved to a cottage, which we spent the summer renovating, but due to unforeseen circumstances, she's had to move out, and back to sharing an apartment with her elderly mother. For a while, we had a place to really explore our dynamic, and kink, which was amazing.

Unfortunately, one problem is that I developed prostatitis, and had to go unlocked for nearly 2 months. I was well behaved, and my guy parts were well behaved, but it's not the same mentally, as being locked full time. The other issue is that I've had to up my emptying out (cumming) to weekly, from 1-2 month intervals. Also, we had been doing weak, ruined orgasms, and now have been making sure it pumps hard. Not sure why it happened, but it's better now. Again, weekly self empties are hard on the chaste mind for me. I would prefer to be locked, and empty at 6 month intervals, and she would prefer that too, but I'm in my 50's, and it is what it is. Health comes first.

Here's the other thing. For the first time in 3 years, I got used for sex. Neither of us came, and she's asexual anyhow, but she ordered me to do it. I really, honestly felt like I lost my virginity a 2nd time. I was nervous, and clumsy. I had trouble finding the hole....and I couldn't go at any pace without getting close to cumming. She then had me put on extra lube, and rode me for a bit, before having me clean off and re-lock. That really messed with my chaste mind I have to say. Was I now for sex again? Is this going to be more regular? How do I view myself now? Eventually I calmed down, and we discussed that it was not going to become a thing. I was going to be locked full time again, and told not to fuss about it.

Just finding my chaste groove again. I do prefer to be locked. That's my preferred state. I did enjoy the feeling of penetration, especially as I was not in charge, but I know that's not for me anymore. I'm emptying weekly, but if I can't get hard enough, or cum quick enough, I lose that week, as we don't want me re-addicted to masturbation, which is fair. So far, no further prostate issues. Will go see my doctor if it happens again, as I think that my Crohn's disease is having an inflammatory effect on the prostate. Discussed with with my gastroenterologist, but he didn't think it was an issue, but I'd rather talk to a urologist about it if I can. Anyhow, that's my update, and what I did this summer. Hope everyone here is well.,

 

Thanks folks! I got my keyholder moved from the cottage, and back to her shared apartment. It's not ideal, but that's life I guess. We no longer have private play/together space, but on the bright side, my keyholder/owner is 20 minutes away, so we see each other more often. Being semi-poly, she is in our family Covid bubble, so that's good too, as we all get together for dinner and hanging out.

I'm hating having to empty myself weekly and with a full orgasm, as it's not the same mindset as being denied orgasm, and emptying every 1-2 months. I much preferred that, but that's life. She wants me on 2 a month after the new year, so will see how that goes in terms of prostate and such. Weekly seems to have cleared up the issue fully.