Introducing my long term girlfriend to chastity

Hi there, me and my girlfriend are in a long term relationship and have always been reasonably kinky in the bedroom together. She likes dominating me and I love being submissive towards her. We've experimented with fairly vanilla toys before like handcuffs and blindfolds but I'm wanting to take things to another level by introducing her to chastity.

To begin with I'm wanting to just have fun with it and take it casually, I'm not going into this wanting her to lock me up for months or even weeks at a time (at least not straight away ) and I think the best way of going about this is to just go slow and take our time.

The thing is, what in your opinion and experience is the best way to actually approach the idea of chastity initially? The way I've planted the seed is that I've suggested we should get each other kinky Christmas presents this year and she seemed to like the idea, so I've actually purchased a beginner chastity device and a book about male chastity called Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders by Lucy Fairbourne. I've read that it's aimed at complete newbies to chastity and it's presented in a non-threatening way, so I figured that might be a good place to start? But what do you think?

Do you have any other suggestions about how to approach chastity in this type of situation?

 

First of all I want to say thanks to everyone for replying to me so quickly! I would have gotten back to you all sooner but work has been getting in the way. Anyway;

@richard I honestly thought that she might have been doing that because I was talking to her about what she might have gotten but after a few clues I don’t think she has. That would have been very funny though You’re right though and a couple of other people have pointed that out too, I’ll definitely get her something else too, don’t worry

@Sipriotes That’s reassuring to hear, I’m hoping that she’s into the idea of it or at the very least gives it a chance and doesn’t get freaked out by it. I’m pretty sure she won’t though, I’ve been saying to her a lot recently that I want her to control my orgasms and deny me whenever she wants to. So it’s all sounding promising, I just worry about this sort of thing.

If it doesn’t stay fun and casual for very long I would be completely fine with that! I’ll be looking into getting her some kind of rabbit vibe I think, she’s going to need something to replace her cock with when it’s caged huh?

@Giles_English I have been thinking of giving her the cage earlier than Christmas but I think it will maybe look better and like I’ve put more thought into it if I make it into more of a present. The book is a part of that too, I think it shows that I’m not just thinking of using it once and then forgetting about it. Also, I doubt she’s had any experience with chastity so the book will help her to grasp the basics of why I want to be in chastity and what she should expect from it. I know I could just tell her myself but it almost seems a bit more like she’s in control of it if she isn’t hearing it from me. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s sort of my logic there

@MissyB Yeah, I’m most probably going to struggle to save it until Christmas but we’ll see. If an opportunity presents itself to give it to her earlier than I might see what I can do. It seems everyone is in agreement that I should get her a vibrator, so I’ll do that. It was selfish of me to not have done that anyway, but I think I just got slightly carried away

@maid julie No, I don’t want to just give her the key because I want her to have the satisfaction of putting it into me and clicking the lock shut. I want us to experience that part together. Don’t worry though she’ll definitely be getting all the pleasure she wants.

I will reply to the other responses later, I’m on a break right now

 

@amvetsb Yes, I’ve taken on board what yourself and others have said here and you’re right. I’ll be getting her something that’s entirely for her. I should have done that to begin with really.

I’m going into it with the mindset of it being laid back to begin with and if she likes the idea of it and enjoys me being caged we can work our way towards me being locked for longer periods of time. It’s entirely her decision though and I don’t want to be pressuring her.

Like you say if she wants to go ahead, we’ll take it easy to begin with and slowly build up the time with practice. I’m not expecting for it to be a breeze and to be able to go months straight away!

@sandman9355 I don’t know, I feel like maybe we should do the initial practicing stages of chastity together so she knows what’s difficult about it and we can work through things together. Even if I’m only caged for a couple of hours to begin with we can build up from that.

@King Hippo Again like with what I said just above, I’m thinking that it would be better to be doing the trial runs together as a couple? Maybe I’m wrong about that though seeing as that’s been suggested a few times! We are both open and honest with each other so I don’t think it would be a problem at all if I struggled with having it on for long amounts of time to begin with. All of this assuming that she’s into the idea of chastity to begin with!

 

@bondinchas Yes, that’s true. I don’t actually know for certain if she even knows what a chastity cage is! So I will do my best to not throw her in at the deep end because I would imagine that would be a bit much. That’s good to hear!

@madams-sissysub Im glad you think so, I just hope it all works out and she wants to try it out. Thanks for the good luck! I’ll need it!

 

@LesterBallard I figured that there would be, but with my situation being a little bit more specific with things like the book choice and not being involved in any kink scenes, I thought it would be helpful to create a thread.

I'll definitely be taking it very slowly, I'm not too confident with chastity yet either!

 

@Petey Yeah, I’m trying not to get carried away with the fantasy of this and take it seriously and consider how slowly we’ll need to go if we ever get to a stage where she wants me to wear it 24/7. To begin with (if she’s interested), I’ll probably just wear it every now and then though.

I’ve been trying out a couple of devices to make sure that when I show her one, I’m as comfortable as possible in there and there’s no complications in that area. But yeah, I’ve only been going for cheap ones for now, if she is really into the idea after we’ve been trying it out for a while, I’ll definitely be suggesting we get a custom one, but again, I’m taking it one step at a time first!

I won’t be pushing the idea too hard, if she isn’t interested at all I won’t be forcing her into anything that she doesn’t want to be a part of. That isn’t what this is about after all!

I agree with you about the ‘long term girlfriend’ thing. I have plans to propose but it’s been a bit backdated because of the pandemic this year! Next year though will probably be a different story

@Pretty Monnica That’s a good idea and that’s why I figured I would give her a book on the subject written from the perspective of a woman, so she can be eased into it and hopefully not be overwhelmed immediately.

I’ve actually now got a vibrator for her based on what other people have said too, so that base is covered now. I’m actually really looking forward to her using it.

That’s really good advice and I’ll be taking that on board. I’ll be letting her decide exactly how slowly she wants to go with it and I won’t keep bringing it up or anything like that. Like you said it needs to be fun! I don’t ever want her to feel pressured into anything.

Thank you!

 

@SergioUK That could be something we think about in the future but to begin with, if she’s even interested in the idea, she’ll probably want to have the keys to herself.

I already please her in other ways too, in fact she’s started limiting the amount I get to orgasm even without a cage. I’ve been on my knees a lot recently...

 

@amvetsb That’s what I’m thinking too, all the signs are pointing towards her being very interested in caging me. I love the idea of her not having to worry or think about my orgasms anymore but to start with it most likely won’t be like a big lifestyle thing though. I’m really new to this too and she might have never even heard of chastity before for all I know, so I hope she doesn’t think it’s really weird (in a bad way) and get put off from the outset. But I guess we’ll just have to see.

 

@amvetsb I’ve been meaning to update this for a while now but this is the first chance I’ve had to do it properly.

So I ended up giving her the cage and a vibrator for Christmas and she seemed initially shocked but into the idea and was asking lots of questions like how long I’m supposed to wear it for and how it’s supposed to go on and stuff. She also seemed very happy with the vibrator so that was a good call, thanks to everyone that suggested that

She locked me up that night but she was worried it was hurting me or restricting me too much and I reassured her that it was very comfortable and she then made me go down on her while I was wearing the cage which was amazing. I was let out after bringing her to orgasm though because of her prior worries.

Since then she hasn’t made me wear the cage but she still mentions it every now and then and whenever she does I act very interested in it and say that I would love to be locked up. Just last night she said that I’ll be locked up when the time comes, so for now I’m just leaving her to decide when she wants me locked. It’s best I don’t push her and I just let her call the shots.

Another thing that’s been happening recently though is that she seems to have become even more dominant. She’s started saying she’s going to write a list of rules for me to follow and she’s been assigning me more chores and telling me to do little things through the day while reminding me she’s the boss. I love this by the way, she’s not forcing me to do anything I don’t want to!

From a sex standpoint, things have been incredible. I haven’t had a full orgasm since I gave her the cage. She’s teased me and edged me but never allowed me to actually finish. I’ve been satisfying her with my tongue a lot but the main thing we’ve been enjoying is the vibrator. I’ve never seen her climax so hard, it’s amazing. She even mentioned that she would like me to get her a dildo next and that it would be good to get her one bigger than myself, which I obviously immediately agreed to

So yeah! Basically although there hasn’t been much play with the cage itself, things have been going extremely well. I’m loving her more dominant side that’s come out and it’s making me even more submissive towards her which I think she likes. She’s even said she wants to spank me with my belt, but she’s yet to actually act on that...