Not what I was expecting!

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by WannaLockCock, Sep 28, 2020.

  1. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Thank You! It has definitely been an eye opening journey this far. As the title says not what I was expecting. I have had a lot of really encouraging help from fellow subs on CM. I have a L O N G way to go, to even be close to looking feminine, especially to look like my fellow sissies that belong to MistressS. I need to loose some weight and tone up quite a bit. Several back surgeries and constant pain has slowed me down in the last couple of years. Therefore gaining about 20-30 lbs. The drive to make MistressS happy has given me more reason to loose the weight and exercise more. I am so jealous of most of my "sisters" in MistressS' care. They all look so pretty!
     
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  2. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Yes Mistress! I certainly will.
     
  3. tvalex
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    tvalex Long term member

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    Looks like you are in good hands.
    Enjoy the ride.
     
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  4. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    You're married and have at least one child. Why does any of this seem like a good idea to you? You've traded an unhealthy use of porn for an escalating exploration of various fetishes at the behest of someone who is using you for their amusement rather than having your best interests in mind. When shit hits the fan, they'll move on unscathed while you have to pick up the pieces of your life.

    Ditch the porn. Ditch the fetishes. Rebuild your relationship with your wife is possible. If you come back to male chastity in the future and approach it in a healthy way, that's great. If not, that's fine too. Just please, get off this road you're on because the inevitable crash is coming.
     
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  5. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    You’re very confident in stating this position about another person. Do you have a particular insight to their situation and what will happen?
     
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  6. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    He's making changes about his appearance (shaving his body hair, painting his nails, wearing women's underwear, wearing a chastity device). That his wife hasn't noticed is not a positive indicator about the state of their marriage but she will eventually. Even if his wife is actually secretly kink friendly which seems unlikely especially since he's listed as living in Alabama, she almost certainly would see his online interactions as basically adultery which she should since they are. At that point you can basically flip a coin on them staying married for their children while she secretly hates his guts or them getting a divorce to keep the children away from someone she sees as a freak.
     
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  7. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    Are there not kinky people in Alabama?
     
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  8. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Long term member

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    So did your wife notice your shaved body hair?
     
  9. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    Don't expect him to ever answer this question because he's treating this thread like he's treating his wife: He's pretending it doesn't exist because it has become inconvenient for him.
     
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  10. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    You have a somewhat valid point. You however do not know me nor the relationship I have with my wife. We have been in a sexless marriage for well over 10 years. I have a very overactive sex drive she has NONE. We do occasionally have sex but it is ALWAYS by me requesting it, or she sees I am upset or easily irritated. She only uses it as a "tool" to try to satisfy me and calm me down. When we do she is not into it at all. Just pretty much lays there and lets me get off. That is not healthy sex! Yes our marriage is not good. We are both pretty much unhappy. ( me probably more so than her) Splitting up at this time is not what we want due to our child. After so many years of mental fantasies used to stimulate me to orgasm, I was getting bored. So yes I started watching porn to aid in that aspect. Can you imagine having a sex drive where you would be happy with everyday or multiple times a day of sex and then not getting it? It fucking sucks!
    As for me accepting a new fetish for the pleasure of another, that is my choice. At least I feel some sort of emotion from @MistressS and attention for doing her bidding in a what some would call an unusual "unhealthy" way. It is my choice. And yes I'm pretty sure eventually the "shit will hit the fan" and yes I will be left picking up the pieces. I would love to have a loving at least occasional sex filled marriage. She has a hormone deficiency that could be corrected with HRT but her mother had uterine cancer and her OB/GYN told her that going on HRT would greatly increase her chances of getting it as well. So what do you do? Ask her to take the meds and take a chance with her life for the sake of sex? It may not happen either way, but could you imagine the feeling that YOU were possibly the cause of the one that you love's death?! Yes I do still love her! I believe she loves me. The years of going without any sort of intimacy for so long has really jaded me. I believe that any man would be. Most would have left and moved on or gotten caught up in some affair. I have stayed faithful so far. She does not like the idea of me watching porn at all. She would definitely not like the idea of me being locked and controlled by someone on the internet. Nor the fact that I have been going down the road of a fetish of crossdressing and feminization. Again, THAT"S MY CHOICE and I will deal with the costs when they come.
    So I hope you have some understanding of my choices now. I hope you have a wonderful life. Good day.
     
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  11. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    TRUE!
     
  12. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    If you don't have sex how could she? Ha ha ha! No she hasn't. We live in the same house but pretty much just co exist.
     
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  13. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Wrong! I have not been getting any alerts about anyone posting!
     
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  14. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    It sounds like you are trying to do your best in a very difficult situation. I wish you all the best.
     
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  15. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Long term member

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    I live in pretty much the same situation, no sex or any other intimacy to speak of, we are mostly just married housemates with children. It's not easy. Chastity is kind of a way to bring some meaning to the lack of affection.
     
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  16. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Thank you! It is very difficult. It is what it is. Giving up control to @MistressS is one way of coping with my sexual frustration. It has been exciting and fun so far!:)
     
  17. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    OH I TOTALLY AGREE!! It has been a great adventure so far. MistressS is awesome to serve as my on-line Mistress!
     
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  18. sissy girl lauren
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    Wow, leave the poor sissy girl alone, they come on here, share their experiences and then get judged!
     
  19. tvalex
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    tvalex Long term member

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    That sounds like a pretty rough situation for everyone concerned. I hope the kids don't pick up on any negativity in the house. Sometimes this can be harder to deal with than parents splitting up.
    I hope it works out ok for you.
     
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  20. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Thank you @tvalex. It is a tough situation. I know our child is not oblivious to our situation. They however don't know the extent of it. We have really worked hard to keep it from her. We DO NOT have any open arguments. We really don't even argue very much at all. So I think they believe everything is just fine. Maybe by the time they are out of school, my sex drive will have died and we can carry on with the rest of our lives.
     
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  21. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Sorry I have not been as attentive on my chastity updates as I should have. I appreciate all the input so far both positive and negative. I have been dealing with a few health issues that has kept me busy and away from home and my computer. So I will give a quick update today.

    I have bought 2 new pairs of heels and love the way they feel. If you look in my photos you will see my second latest pair. A pair of white heels with a small platform. I really love wearing them. They really make me feel so sexy.
    The other pair I have I have not had a chance to do photo shoot in. They are black with a short heel. These would be more of a work place wear or wedding shoe. They are comfortable and sexy but do not give me that slutty feel like with the red and white pair. I will post pics as soon a I get a chance to do another photoshoot.

    I have been somewhat regularly taking @MistressS cock and can now take it easily. So much so I went to a local adult boutique store and bought a larger one with the realsistc skin feel and one that is just a bit bigger than the original. (it is rainbow colored) he he. I have only had a couple of times to use them. After warming up with the original cock and getting my pussy loosened up I tried the rainbow colored one and got it in with some minor discomfort. I fucked myself for probably 10-15 minutes and decided to try the larger lifelike cock. (I think I may becoming a size queen) lol. I got the head in and it stretched my pussy to the point of burning and pain. So I had to stop and decided to wait on it a little longer. The next chance I got was pretty much the same. I was rushed so I didn't get to open myself up enough with rainbow. I hopefully will get a chance this week to take my time and work up to it. I will keep you posted.

    After 25 days without a release, (a record for me) @MistressS allowed me a release on Nov. 1. I had some VERY sexy pictures to use as I released my clitty and began stroking. OMG it felt wonderful to feel the hardness and fully stretching out. I had a bit of a hard time reaching orgasm due to my persistent back pain but was limited on the time so I was not going to let it pass me by. I finally reached that SWEET feeling of release. This time there was no "shooting" my cum. It just sort of poured out but still felt amazing! I immediately raised my hand to my mouth and sucked in my ejaculate and licked my hand clean. Per MistressS orders. This time it tasted more like the first time. My second release under MistressS was not pleasant at all. This time I took the time to hold it in and savor it, if you will, before swallowing it. It still was not what I would by any means call good tasting but if that is what my Mistress demands in order to get a release then I will gladly do it.

    I have several appointments this week so I don't know how much playtime I will get. I am still working on getting a sissygasm or prostate milking and am really looking forward to some alone time to relax and enjoy it. I will try to keep you updated as I progress. Hopefully not as much time between posts and maybe be able to give more detail on my experience.

    Thank you for reading and following my journey!
    WLC
     
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  22. Sissy_Denise
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    Sissy_Denise Active Sissylander

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    For me, it's more like a ground hog hole, much bigger! :)

    Well said Miss Lauren! :+1:
     
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