The Life and Times of Lowly Worm

Outed to my Keyholder's Best Friend, part 1

Last night, my Keyholder Wife’s best Friend, an unattached 36-year old Woman, was coming over for drinks. The Friend ("Ms. C") is kink-friendly, and my Mistress has been sharing some of our FLR details with Her for the past few months. I’ve even shown Ms C my subbie tshirts (“Property of Mistress”, “I ❤ Chastity”...), which She has enjoyed seeing. But we’ve never really had “The Talk”.

So when i heard that Ms C was coming over, i asked Mistress if i should keep my collar on. It's a thin leather one with "SLUT" lettered on the front. She said "yes" and then i knew that this was the moment. She also said that after our chat, i would take Ms C’s car and detail it, since She hadn’t had time recently to clean it.

Ms C knocked and Mistress told me to answer the door. As She entered, She noticed the collar but didn’t comment on it and began chatting, mostly to Mistress. I left to do some chores while they caught up.

After a while, i came back into the room and sat down on a chair. Ms C looked directly at me and said, “So, tell me the story--I want to know the details”.

(to be continued)

 

Outed to my Keyholder's Best Friend, part 2

(Sorry i can't get this all out in one post-- just don't have enough time right now to knock it all out. Part 1 here.
)

“So, tell me the story--I want to know the details”. My heart exploded as i realized that this was the moment of truth. I stumbled for an answer and considered laughing it off, as silly as that sounds, but decided to just open up. As i started to talk, i slowly slid off the chair onto the floor. It just felt like the right thing to do. I started by telling Ms C. that we had a Female Led Relationship and that Mistress was in charge of all our decisions, including when i could climax. I told Her that i was wearing a chastity cage and Mistress held the key.

Ms C listened intently and kept Her eyes fixed on me as i added more detail on how i am assigned all the household tasks except cooking, which Mistress enjoys (and is amazing at) and how i accumulate demerits when tasks are not completed on time.

Ms C smiled all the while but didn’t show much other emotion, especially surprise. As it turned out, between the pieces that Mistress had shared and Ms C.’s background, She really wasn’t all that surprised. (I found this gratifying--one of our main FLR goals is that if others were to find out about our true relationship, they shouldn’t be very surprised.)

Ms C asked a few followup questions on what punishments i have and how we got started on this path. I provided complete answers, even showing Her one of our slappers. At that point, i was dismissed to detail Ms. C’s car. She said She would pay me, but Mistress made it clear that any payment would be negotiated between them and that the payment would go to Mistress, not me. Ms. C gave me the keys and i cleaned it up to the very best of my ability. One of the tires was a bit low on air, so i fixed that and i topped off the gas tank just for good measure.

When i got back, Mistress and Ms C were still chatting on the couch. I don’t know (and may never know) the extent of their discussion. Ms C was ready to go at that point, so we exchanged our normal pleasantries and She left.

Next: Conclusion and reflections.

 

Outed to my Keyholder's Best Friend, conclusion

(Find Part 1 and Part 2 above)

Overall it was amazingly affirming for me and for the Women. Ms C treated this all as normal as rain. She was interested and pleased to be brought into our circle of trust. Now for sure, Ms C is very aware of the details of our FLR, knows i’m wearing a cage, and has an invitation to ask any question at any time. (We’re seeing Her later today, so maybe i’ll find out then.) Mistress was very pleased with the whole event--She was smiling the whole time. She said She was proud of how open i was, and now has a very clear avenue for further discussion with Her best Friend. She also has proof on how well i respond to being outed and has other Friends with whom She might share these details. I was able to live out one of my fantasies and gain the understanding of a close Friend. I’m also set up to detail Ms C’s car on a monthly basis. This is the first time i’ve been “loaned out” and it really fired up my submissive feelings.


There was just one downside and i’m still working through that. I’d had fantasies about this being more humiliating, more demeaning. I thought (hoped?) that Ms C might giggle and laugh and comment on my situation to Mistress, and maybe even ask Mistress to see my caged cock(!). I know that this is just fantasy and is heavily influenced by porn. I’ve related this to Mistress and She says it’s just another step in my road of submission. I need to accept that it is not about me. My sex is not that important, whether that be climaxes or sharing details of my submissive lifestyle. It entertained Mistress and Ms C for a while and that is all that should be expected. If anyone has tips on how to work through this, i’d appreciate them. Thanks for reading.


asa

 

Glad you liked it. Yes, a bit, more in that later post.

 

There 3 Ss of Submission

Dr. Sue Storm. a well-known Femdom podcaster, author, and lifestyle Mistress, said on Her podcast, “Late Nite with Dr. Sue” (and in Her blog here) that She measures submission using three metrics: Sacrifice, Servitude, and Suffering. She uses these three words to judge whether someone is submissive or not and to measure their level of submission. When i mentioned this to my Keyholder Wife, She thought it would be good for me to examine my level of submission along these three aspects.

Dr. Sue describes Sacrifice as the sub giving things up to show his submission. Looking at how i interact with Mistress along the lines of sacrifice, my greatest sacrifice would be climaxing when i want. I used to masturbate anytime i wanted and cum once per day on average, maybe even higher. So wearing the chastity cage and not climaxing is certainly my number one sacrifice i am making to demonstrate my submission. Another way in which i sacrifice is that, especially recently, i am sacrificing my pride when communicating with Mistress’ Friends. Greeting Ms C wearing a collar that said “SLUT” on it and telling Her all about my chastity and denial left no room for pride. Similarly, addressing all of Mistress’ Friends as "Ms", especially when texting, is a hit on my pride and ego. And i’ve long ago sacrificed my pride around Mistress, with Her doing all kinds of sexual acts on me that a prideful male would not allow. Other ways in which i sacrifice are in spending time doing tasks and expenses purchasing toys to further my submission to Her.

I'll post the the rest of my essay in a separate post.

asa

 

The 3 Ss of Submission, concluded

Dr. Sue describes Servitude as doing things for Her, especially ones that aren’t part of any sexual play or that the sub gets no benefit from. This is probably my highest-rated metric, as it is clear that i am a service sub. My service encompasses all the cleaning and household chores that i do on a periodic basis and that none of our Friends are surprised that i do the serving when they are over. This also includes serving Mistress through being loaned out to Ms C to clean Her car and potentially take care of Her compost tumbler. Another place where i am of service to Mistress is in Her sexual gratification where She allows me to help by setting the toys up and cleaning them afterwards. I am grateful to be able to be present most of the time and serve Her that way, as well, especially the times when She calls me worship Her shrine.

My lowest-rated metric would be around Suffering, which Dr. Sue describes as pain and punishments inflicted on the sub. Suffering forces the sub to accept the fact that they are lower than the Dominant. The pain or tediousness of suffering show the sub that being of service and acts of sacrifice aren’t sufficient to put the sub in his place--spanking, positions and other punishments drive the point home. The primary time i do suffer for Mistress to demonstrate my submission is when i am doing cards earned by my lack of performance. The maintenance spankings that we had started were another time where i suffered for Her. I would like to explore this more to round out this metric. I do want to try the shocking dog collar we have to allow Mistress to have a true feeling of power and control over me and look forward to a day when Mistress might make me suffer in front of Her Friends, as a way of demonstrating Her control over me.

If i had to give a score, i would say i am a 7 on sacrifice, 8 on servitude and a 3 on suffering. I thank Dr. Sue for Her insight on the 3 Ss of Submission. These do seem to define the different aspects of submission very well and give a good way of benchmarking my progress into submission.

asa

 

Morning Rain Sex

Yesterday morning, a thunderstorm blew through about 5am. In the old days--before our FLR when my Keyholder Wife and i were still trying to live as a vanilla couple--that was a time when we always had sex. We both grew up on farms, and on a farm, early rain meant a slow start to our day and relaxed the workload a bit, so that be where it came from.

But when i say we had "sex", i mean i climbed on top and thrust in Her until i climaxed and then rolled over. No foreplay, no imagination and no satisfaction for Her. (I know, what a dick, right? )

But things are different now, with us in a FLR and me in a chastity cage. Yesterday, when i heard the rain start, i rolled over and began fondling Mistress' breasts and Shrine. As She gained interest, She played with my caged "Toy" as i begged Her to allow me to please Her. I asked for and received permission to get Her Hitachi vibe and then helped Her on Her journey to a quick and strong climax. Then, as She rolled over to finish sleeping, I got up and cleaned up the vibe and stated on my day's tasks.

Life in our FLR is soooooo different from "BC" (before chastity) times, but we still have sex when it rains, just different. I am so proud of how far Mistress has come in first accepting my offer of chastity and then growing to relish our FLR.

asa / lowly worm

 

Hi everyone,

After a personal record 97 days, @MistressAMA granted me a full climax last Saturday! And best of all, i was able to consume it without skipping a beat!

It was such an amazing feeling to finally get that climax, my 4th of the year. She had me do it myself, though, with Her looking on and smirking. As soon as the throbbing was over, She quietly cleared Her throat and i slurped it down from my hand. The last time i skipped that part and my punishment was to set a new personal record, so lesson learned!

I want to thank many of you for helping me prep for that and for handling the inevitable sub drop much better this time around. Several threads have dealt with these topics and the comments there helped me push through and have a good week.

She's mentioned that i'll get 6 (max) for year, so it'll likely be a while before the next release. I'm fine with that--i really appreciate that my Keyholder Wife likes that level of control. I am so lucky to be able to live out this fantasy!

Crawl on!

asa / lowly worm

 

At the End of My Leash!

My 100 ft leash arrived this week and i've spent two days now leashed to the doorknob of my Keyholder Wife's (@MistressAMA) office. We have a modest home, so i can go anywhere in the house with it clipped to my collar.

Mistress is really enjoying this light bondage and just laughs as i sort through the tangled leash. She even told our Friend who knows about our kink and now She wants to borrow it for a day or two to train Her dog!

I enjoy feeling Mistress' control and am pleasantly surprised at how much entertainment this has given Her. She is expecting me to wear this going forward while i'm working from home. Should be interesting!

asa

 

Unexpected Gift​

I got a most unexpected gift this past weekend from my Keyholder Wife, @MistressAMA. She'd promised that if i maintained good behavior over the weekend that i might earn my 5th release of the year.

Well, i'm happy to report that in Her eyes, i did quite well. She not only allowed my 5th on Sunday night, but allowed me a 6th early Monday morning!! It was like old (pre-FLR) times, except, of course, that i consumed each load.

Now i am in for a loooooong dry spell, according to Mistress. She's even threatening to have me wait until early January. That would set a new personal record and feels like forever from now.

Meanwhile, She will continue to enjoy sex whenever She wants it and take climaxes when and how She desires. We are in such a great place!

asa

 

The New Year's Eve Drawing

@MistressAMA and i started a New Year’s Eve tradition four or five years ago of having a drawing on New Year’s Eve for the maximum number of climaxes i can hope to have in the following year. These are still given at Her whim and again, the number i draw is the maximum, not a promised amount.

Mistress sets and approves of all the possible cards that go into the drawing. Usually there is one for the same number as the current year, one for a few more, one for a few less and maybe a low-ball one (although She just says that--i haven’t drawn that one yet, so not sure it’s really in there).

As we get ready for tonight’s drawing, Mistress checked on the number of climaxes i’ve had in 2020 and the total is 7, five fulls and two ruineds. This year, She’s added in a number given Her by a Girlfriend of Hers, Ms C, who knows of our FLR dynamic and my chastity. Having Mistress get input from Her Friend, and knowing Mistress has promised to relay my pick back to Ms C is amazingly hot for me. Mistress has told me only that all options are single digits, but i wouldn’t be surprised at all if there was a 3 or 4 in the mix.

As a practical matter, the drawing has no real effect beyond setting an upper bound on my climaxes. @MistressAMA is still in charge of when/how and full/ruined and how many. But on an emotional level and in respect to starting the new year off on a good D/s footing, the drawing has become an important ritual for both Mistress and me. For me, seeing the maximum for the next 12 months on a card and doing this in such an amusing fashion feeds my submissive nature and screams “FLR”. Mistress enjoys this too, both for the power and feeling of control that She gets from setting this up and in being able to share that with Her Friend.

I’ll follow up with the tally i draw afterward, just wanted to give you all a glimpse into my life. I am very grateful to @MistressAMA for reveling in Her dominance!

Happy New Year, everyone!

asa

 

The Drawing, Part 2

@MistressAMA called me up to the bedroom around 7pm last night for the drawing. She said She was excited to have it and didn’t want to wait. She carefully laid out eight pieces of paper on the bed and invited me to make my choice. I looked at the papers and then to Her, trying to find a reaction in Her eyes. Finally, i made my choice and turned it face up to Her to read. She simply said, “That’s the boring one. Pick again.”

So I repeated the process and gave Her the second one. She giggled and turned it to me--it had a zero on it! With a smiley face inside to boot! My face fell and my jaw hit the floor. I wasn’t expecting a big number but we haven’t really discussed complete denial. But then She told me to pick again. Confused but relieved, i picked again and came up with a 5. “That’s the number from Ms. C and I think that’s what we’ll go with.”

This all served to demonstrate Mistress’ control over my releases and how She is enjoying toying with me and was a great way to kick off the new year. I am so lucky to have such an engaged Domme. Chastity and FLR have helped our relationship so much. Happy New Year, everyone

asa

 

My Chore and Task List

Here is my list of tasks that i work on. Most of these are mundane, regular service tasks that just need to be done, but a few are a bit kinky-ish. There are a couple for @MistressAMA's Girlfriend, Ms C, where i am loaned out for a couple of jobs on a monthly basis. And some are just things i need to remember to do, and adding them to the Task List assures i won't forget. This also shows the demerits for not getting a task done. These build to punishments. I'll post that schedule another time.

Weekly (2 demerits each)

Cleaning (Weekly)

1. Bathrooms cleaned
2. Clothes washed and put away
3. Compost out
4. Dishwasher run 2x
5. Furniture dusted
6. Kitchen swept 3x
7. Microwave cleaned
8. Pillowcases changed
9. Table cloth changed
10. Upstairs garbage taken out
11. Vacuuming done

Cleaning (Alternating Weeks)

1. Desk and papers organized
2. Dining room swept
3. Napkins ironed
4. Kitchen/bathrooms mopped
5. Steps vacuumed
6. Stove burner trays cleaned
7. Tea kettle cleaned
8. Toaster cleaned
9. Tub scrubbed
10. Window sills dusted

Personal

1. Ass shaved
2. Bra worn on rides w others (2 dem/ride)
3. Brace worn 4 hours
4. Collar worn 40 hours
5. Cuffs worn 8 hours
6. Leash worn 8 hours
7. Lines written
8. Nails clipped
9. Plug worn 4 hours
10. Pubes shaved 3x
11. Sub tshirt worn for a day
12. Workout 5x

Service

1. Cans recycled / bags ret.
2. Dishsoap and oil refilled
3. Finances updated
4. Nails painted
5. Volunteer work--1 hr
6. Key shown to Mistress
7. Maintenance spanking requested

​

Monthly Tasks (5 demerits each)

1. Backup data files
2. Bathroom deep cleaned
3. Bathroom rugs replaced
4. Bedding changed twice
5. Bedroom rugs and under bed vacuumed
6. Bills paid on time (10 dem/late payment)
7. Car detailed 2x
8. Car washed at least once
9. Coffee service cleaned
10. Credit cards paid
11. Dining room tablecloth changed 2x
12. Dishwasher cleaned
13. Electronic screens cleaned
14. First floor rugs changed 2x
15. Fridge shelves washed
16. Iron cleaned
17. Keyboards cleaned
18. Kitchen sink and sorter cleaned
19. Ms C's car detailed & cans collected
20. Ms C's can deposit $ returned
21. Online activity reviewed
22. Physical activity goal met
23. Shoes polished
24. Shower curtain changed
25. Socks rematched
26. Twelve workouts logged
27. Washer and dryer wiped down and rugs changed
28. Vinyl floors scrubbed

Bi-monthly Tasks (10 demerits each)

1. Basement area cleaned
2. Compost bucket replaced
3. Credit check done
4. Cupboard doors washed
5. Kitchen drawer sorted
6. Sinks roto-rooted
7. Special job (Honey Do List)
8. Switch plates and door knobs cleaned
9. Quarterly Tasks (15 demerits each)
10. Broiler drawer cleaned
11. Container cabinet sorted
12. Doors and trim washed
13. Flex account reimbursed
14. Fridge cleaned
15. Fruit bowl washed
16. Furniture vacuumed & swept under
17. Garbage can
18. Kitchen cabinet cleaned
19. Sink cabinets cleaned
20. Wicker baskets cleaned
21. Trimester Tasks (25 demerits each)
22. Weight goal made bonus

Semi-Annual Tasks (30 demerits each)

1. Back entry cleaned
2. Baseboards cleaned
3. Basement landing cleaned
4. Basement shower cleaned
5. Bathroom drawers cleaned
6. Bed linens swapped
7. Bedroom drawers cleaned
8. Car inside windows washed
9. Ceilings swept
10. Cold air returns vacuumed
11. Furnace / AC serviced
12. Furnace lever flipped
13. Garage alley cleaned
14. Garage eaves cleaned
15. Light fixtures washed
16. Medicine cabinet cleaned
17. Storms/screens swapped
18. Task list reviewed and updated
19. Taxes filed
20. Work desk cleaned

Annual Tasks (60 demerits each)

1. A/C unit covered
2. Annual work review satisfactory
3. Bathroom fan screens washed
4. Basement drain cleaned
5. Benefits elected
6. Broom closet cleaned
7. China cabinet cleaned
8. Closet deep cleaned
9. Cubbie cleaned out
10. Curtains washed
11. Deacon's bench cleaned
12. Dryer vent tube cleaned
13. Fire extinguishers checked
14. Freezer defrosted
15. Front porch cleaned
16. Health incentives earned
17. Holiday letter written
18. Kia wiper blades replaced
19. Kitchen cupboard shelves washed
20. Kitchen nic-naks cleaned
21. Lawn treated for grubs
22. Leaves raked/mulched
23. Light fixtures washed
24. Living room closet cleaned
25. Outside garbage cans washed
26. Oven cleaned
27. Root killer applied
28. Shower heads cleaned
29. Smoke and CO detector batteries replaced
30. Taxes -- Federal and state income taxes filed
31. Venetian blinds cleaned
32. Water heater bled

 

Picking It Up a Notch

Our youngest heads back to college tomorrow, so our nest will be empty again and that signifies taking our FLR up a notch. My Keyholder Wife, @MistressAMA, has indicated that She's looking forward to that and having me at Her disposal more freely.

The most visible change will be me returning to wearing a collar 24x7 and being on a 150-foot leash while inside the house. I also expect a lot of pussy and ass worship as She is feeling more and more comfortable in Her role as Dominant. A third change is that She is loaning me out to Her Girlfriends more frequently to clean Their cars, help scoop snow and do other jobs and i expect that to continue. She's hinted at other additions, but hasn't let me in on them.

So for now, i am working to prepare to submit to Her desires and be ready to follow Her lead.

asa

 

My Rules

Here is the list of rules that @MistressAMA and i have developed to guide my behavior and assure that Her life is made easier and more entertaining through my service:

1) i must follow all my daily, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, semi-annual and annual tasks. Failure to do any of these tasks in the appropriate period results in a set number of demerits.
2) i am responsible for all types of cleaning of the house including dusting, vacuuming, ironing, washing, mopping, and scrubbing.
3) i am responsible for household tasks like furnace and yard maintenance as well as taking care of our bills and other financial tasks.
4) i am to service Mistress by painting Her nails, polishing Her shoes, washing and vacuuming Her car and by serving Her drinks.
5) i must ask permission to enter Mistress’s bed and to insert anything into Her body.
6) i must ask permission to climax and do so in any way Mistress desires. Upon climaxing, i must ask Mistress if She’d be entertained to see me clean up my mess and if so, i must eat it with enthusiasm and joy. i should not expect to do this very much, i.e. i should expect that Mistress will restrict me to very few climaxes. On the other hand, i must be ready to play with Mistress always and often so that She is able to reach climax as often as She desires with total disregard to my gratification.
7) i must set up, clean and put away any toys we use.
8) i must refer to the cock on my body as “Mistress’s cock” or “Your toy”, since She is in charge of when it is used and it is Her toy.
9) i am punished for any infraction or incomplete tasks. Demerits translate into cards which are various punishments as tracked on a punishment schedule. Some of the punishments are short and intense, such inserting ice cubes into my ass, while others take a long time to play out, such as writing “SLUT” above Mistress’s cock for 20 days.
10) i have daily tasks such as texting Mistress at 9am, 12pm and 3pm to show that i am constantly thinking of Mistress. In each of those texts, i must rate how turned on i am so that She is aware of my sexual energy. i also need to send Her an email each day with a specific report, such as how many cards i have or how long it’s been since i climaxed. My favorite report is on Tuesdays, when i tell Mistress the year-to-date score of climaxes and see how large a difference exists between Her tally and mine.
11) i have monthly and longer period tasks to do, as well. Most of these are different types of cleaning and service tasks. This is a nice way for Mistress to assign tasks to me and know that they will be done or if not, result in a set number of demerits. Of course, She can administer additional punishments as desired, whether earned or not.
12) i must ask Mistress to make changes to the punishments schedule and review it with Mistress twice a year to make sure that it is strict enough.
13) Mistress may also choose to punish me at any time for any reason or no reason. i must gladly accept these punishments and thank Mistress for taking time to play with me.
14) When we are in private, i should work to emphasize that Mistress is in control through going naked, wearing a collar on my neck or balls, and asking Mistress to spank me for Her amusement.
15) When we are out in public, i still should serve Mistress as much as possible. It should be apparent to Mistress and anyone with a discerning eye that i am being submissive to Her.
16) Also when in public, i should be of service to all Women, refilling drinks, taking away plates, and doing other service tasks as needed, without being asked.
17) i am to make it clear each day that i enjoy being submissive to my Mistress and how thankful i am that She has agreed to accept my submission. i do that by kissing Her feet or Her ass, serving Her drinks, becoming a table or footstool for Her and similar activities. Mistress should feel special and loved through my service and submission.

 

Thanks, @SubPeter, i appreciate your feedback. Things are still gong swimmingly for us and our FLR. I've moved to more DMs with those interested though, rather than adding to this journal. Maybe I'll rethink that because we have had some fun stuff happening. In the v meantime, feel free to reach out with any specific questions you have.

asa

 

Serving Mistress and Her Friends Through Car Detailing

After starting to detail @MistressAMA's car a while ago, She offered my services to Her Girlfriend, Ms C (see Outed, part 2). I have continued to do both of Their cars twice each month for the past couple of years. This includes cleaning the dash and upholstery, removing any pet hair and vacuuming throughout, washing and drying the car, adding a new air freshener and leaving behind a sweet treat of Their choice as my "calling card".

Over the past year, this has proven to be a real pleaser for both Women. Mistress loves it when others mention how clean Her car is and She can tell them that i take care of it without being asked. Ms C said that while it can seem that Her life is crazy busy, having Her car cleaned gives Her a sense of calm in the storm. So my services have been extended to two other Women who are now on the "monthly plan" and recently, i connected with a couple Female switches at a munch and am starting to do Their cars once a month, as well. So, adding mine, in total, i have 9 cars a month to do! I also pick up ad hoc cars from time to time of Mistress' Friends and one other Domme that She knows.

The dynamics vary a bit. Ms C knows everything about our FLR and knows i am doing this as a service to Her through Mistress. The two new Women have agreed to allow this in a D/s capacity and They address me as "worm" when setting up times to do the detailing work and have been very picky in Their evaluation, which is given to Mistress. This is challenging, because the first time i did the first one's van, it was a disaster. Dirt, mud, stuck-on food, and pet hair throughout. But i specifically asked Her to have high standards and She did not disappoint. Fortunately, Mistress gave me a pass due to how big a job it was. But further poor marks will be punished, i am sure. The other two Women don't really know about our FLR, but They are more than happy to have me detail Their cars.

None of these Women pay anything for the service, and the ones that know about our FLR know not to thank me, just give an evaluation. I chalk up the money and time i spend on this to my kink, knowing that i love serving Women and this helps demonstrate my submission to my loving Keyholder Wife, @MistressAMA.

I want to give a quick shout out to @Xileh, who gave me this idea in a post that he wrote a while ago. Thanks @Xileh for providing me such a useful service idea!!

asa (a submissive always)