Anyone done chastity the other way round

I think that's how it should work.

 

That is certainly an approach that could work, if you prefer being caged and under her control.

 

The way it works for us is that if I'm extremely well behaved I get a spanking and some kink (like she embraces the fantasy), if I'm normal then she tolerates chastity and if I'm getting on her nerves I get nothing and all kink/chastity is stopped...

I guess it depends on your likes and her likes.

On the 0=vanilla 10=nympho Domme scale my wife is probably a 3 or 4

 

The whole dynamic was my idea, I think a large majority here would fall in the same category.

I always thought it made zero sense to give someone exactly what they wanted when they didn't do what they were supposed to. That's just teaching them to keep not doing it.

Now, take away the dynamic when they don't follow through and you have a person who will definitely get things done.

You were supposed to clean the house and mow the grass this weekend what happened?

I got lazy and didn't do it.....

So now you are going to "punish" them by playing their game? What?

Oh you didn't get off your ass and do what you needed to do? Well put the cage, and dildos, and whips away. We won't be needing any of that until these things get done.

Watch how fast they get up to get shit done.
Taking the game away is the true punishment.

Well how do you "punish" someone for doing what they are supposed to do?

My opinion, increase the standards. Absurd standards.

Well you cleaned the house and mowed the grass, but you missed three blades of grass. Well I think you deserve three months of chastity as a punishment. Guess you need to do a better job next time....

But we want that type of punishment. So now the task will get done and we still can get our punishment and the quality of the task isn't compromised.

 

I agree with what you write completely. My KEYHOLDER if I get me stuff done will cuddle with me. If not there is not physical touch of any kind. My KEYHOLDER does not want her property to feel anything no tease just denial it is what i deserve.

 

It is different for everyone, but I would assume most people are into the tease & denial as a "reward".... but everyone is different... I'd like to think that everyone here willing participates in this and is not forced into it...

 

Thank you all for the thought exercise.

My wife told me that if I broke my chastity some day that she might "punish" me by making me watch her have sex with another man but would deny me. Honestly, this would be mostly a reward to me.

So then I wonder where the disconnect is? Is it that she thinks this would be more anguishing for me than pleasurable? Does she actually want me to have an orgasm so she is actually rewarding my non-compliance?

I guess there is some conversation that is needed between my wife and me.

 

Positive reinforcement is different for everyone based on what response we are trying to elicit. I know my husband enjoys a good spanking so yes that is a reward. Simply letting him know I am disappointed and unhappy with him is plenty punishment when he has done wrong. My disappointment cuts him deeply,I know this so I use that. Knowing our man and how to manipulate his behaviour and his emotions I believe is key to success in chastity play.

 

Long before we entered into chastity or cuckolding, when I realized I loved this woman so much I wanted to spend my life with her, I also realized how painful it was for me to disappoint her.
It goes beyond submission, it's rooted in love. The desire to be all I can be for the one I love. To be the best man I can be not only for her, but for myself. So when I look at myself I know I'm nailing it as best I can, 'cuz you're either in, or you're out.
Life's challenging so I don't always live up to my own expectations, but now that we are living this lifestyle it has amplified my desire to be my best, as well as the crushing pain I feel when I disappoint her.
@MrsBR_Saiph knows me better than I do myself and I can honestly say the silent look that 'says it all' is more powerful in its message than any beating ever could be.
(Not that the beatings aren't an excellent reinforcement)

 

perfectly put!