FLR

We didn’t initially start chastity with an FLR at least consciously. I asked her if we could try a FLR and she wasn’t confident enough in her role to take that step yet. Basically the more time I spent in chastity and the more confidence she gained in herself as my mistress, our relationship morphed into a FLR.

What this boils down to is me putting her on a pedestal and giving up any said control in our relationship. This means she is in charge, I don’t argue with her, I don’t talk back to her, she has the final word in our decisions. I am punished in a way she sees fit if I disobey her.

I serve her as her butler/slave in our house which consists of me cooking all of our meals, I always prepare her plate and serve her then take her plate away and do the dishes when she is done. She usually makes sure to forgot something she wants and waits til I sit down and then asks me to go get whatever it is she wants. This also goes for whenever we’re in our bedroom at night before bed. We usually watch an hour or two of a movie or tv shows and she will requests drinks or snack or whatever and without question I get out of bed and go get those things for her.

What she gets out of this is a submissive husband that adores her like the goddess she is. Is treated and served like a queen all times of the day or night. I’ve made many midnight runs for her when she has a random whim for something she wants. A husband that treats her with the utmost respect that she deserves and honors her final word. Also the sexual focus is all about her, this has taught me to slow down and savor the moment, savor her, making it the best I possibly can for my mistress regardless of if I’m in my belt or not.

For me, what I get out of it is that I thrive on her control over me. There’s something so alluring, so intoxicating for me in having her boss me around and treat me like her personal servant. My mistress has an amazing way of giving me tasks while generating an addictive sexual tension that keeps me coming back for more .

In all reality chastity and the concept of the FLR has made me a less selfish person and encouraged me to focus more on my wife. Even though I have always loved and respected my Wonder Woman, chastity and FLR brings my devotion to her to a whole new level. There’s just something about it that makes me want to try harder for her while under her thumb. Seeing my mistress’s confidence soar as a domme and as stronger woman has been a great experience as well.

The other reality of our relationship is that even though she is the dominant and in charge, we equally respect each other’s opinions as well as concerns and we work together as a team to solve problems. I know she highly values my opinions and looks to me for advice on occasion as I also look to her for guidance as well.

The two of you will find a groove that works best for how you want to live your FLR. Take your time and enjoy your new role, take little bits of what you like from what you read and create your own palace where you are his queen.

We regret nothing about this and we both look forward to seeing where this lifestyle will take us in the future.

 

Benefits for the keyholder:
1. More pliant, submissive, servile husband, no housework. Also, sex on her terms.
2. Being more on the same "wavelength". FLR, especially combined with chastity, does bring out the feminine side in husband.
3. Fulfillment of dominant sexual fetishes (if any, not many women have them, but they can sample and learn).

Benefits for the sub:
1. Better understanding of your wife and women in general.
2. Fulfillment of submissive sexual fetishes. With luck, if wife starts to enjoy domination, this will improve exponentially.

 

One thing I get as a sub that nobody has mentioned is this feeling of closeness between us that I really like.

 

FLR is more common lifestyle for me. We both enjoy our relationship to the fullest because he has also started doing household chores. And if he does not, I can punish him here . I don't have to worry more about his sexual interests(PIV sex) on daily basis. So It is more pleasure for me here.

 

That is such a wonderful aspect for the sub as well.

 

I think male submission is misunderstood and taken as a pornography. For me it gives more openness to both of us.

 

My wife and I aren't nearly as serious about everything as most people on the site... but the way we look at it is... if there multiple things we both find acceptable she gets the final say on which we are going to do as far as day to day life goes.

 

This is a great post! What a terrific outlook. We would all do well to follow this plan.

 

I can only say what appeals to me. I don't have experience with flr really. I'm not really even sure how to draw a line between full-time chastity and flr.

For me, I want far more sex than my wife, and I want that sex to be much more kinky than what she is comfortable with. I want a little 'danger' in my sex life, and she likes to be more in control. She doesn't want surprises and I thrive on not knowing what's coming.

So giving her the tools to have complete control, and for me to be at her mercy is extremely hot to me. So we have a situation where when she forcefully tells me what she wants from me, there is a sexual edge to it, even if she wants me to do some mundane non-sexual task. There is a sexual threat behind it that just makes the mundane into something sexually exciting.

So what's in it for you? You get someone who is forever trying to woo you like you probably haven't been woo'd since you were a teenager. He will be hungry for your approval, and he will view you as an ideal woman, and he will bend over backwards to try to be your ideal man. And for him, he gets to serve you, and serving you gives a little flash of arousal each and every time.

That's my take, based on too little direct experience. I can confirm that doing things for my keyholder gives me butterflies in my heart, but I don't know if that will continue in the long term.

 

There is the common, popular conception of chastity and FLR that is portrayed in erotica and porn. In reality, it is what you want it to be. Keep in mind that a FLR does not require chastity, and chastity does not always result in a FLR.

If you both accept FLR as a direction, then you as the leader, have the edge on deciding what your FLR is going to look like. Be prepared to communicate - lots and often. As you communicate more ofrequently, you may find yourselves coming closer together emotionally and physically. That is a benefit that many couples report enjoying.

For us, one of the most rewarding outcomes is her developing greater confidence in all parts of her life. As such, she is also exploring her sexuality more and initiating. It has been amazing to witness. I am quite delighted to do more housework just to be a part of her transformation.

A FLR can be quite amazing for a couple, but you decide what it is for you both. Have fun!

 

For me, being in a FLR means my madam is in control, every decision is hers. We go where she wants to go, we eat what she wants to eat, when she wants to eat. And so on, we also incorporate a bdsm lifestyle with our FLR, so ours might be a little strict compared to others.

 

Seems like a good combination to me

 

The FLR for us is high-octane relationship fuel.

My wife loves the helpful husband with stars in his eyes, who will do anything to please her around the house, who worships the ground she walks on, and thinks she is the perfect lover. She has always been independent and is not... submissive.

TBH, I'm living my best life. I've always wanted to be domme'd by a powerful, beautiful, dominant woman.

I know some people in the vanilla world detect the dynamic and are turned off. At least one person I interact with genuinely sees me as less of a man. I could give a flying **** what they think.

I can think of at least 3 women in our social circle that are fascinated by our outwardly visible dynamic, so it's not all socially unacceptable. I'm happy, my wife is happy, and thats all I care about.

 

Besides being in control, she really likes the extreme desire and desperation of a locked man. Yes, she likes the other stuff, but that flips her “switch” too.

 

Since we move to a gentle femdom we found both more advantages :

No more expense for useless things,
I take a lot more care of children and wife
Our foou is largly better in quality.
My wife found more free time for her and her hobbies.
She has discover orgasm and pleasure like never before.


I feel a lot less stressed and agressive
I got a lot less addict to anyting like sex, porn video games ....
I rediscover my wife as a sexy female and no longer like the mother of my wife.

Our global life has very few conflicts, is much better and we are both in love as for the first time.
The less I am in control the more she enjoys life and get horny as a super hotwife.
It achieve a state of peace and harmony in sex and couple whe never reach before.

Well, we keep our FLR and chastity as long as we can.

 

That is the main problem many couples face. If you spend most of your free time having mind-blowing sex, other problems tend to disappear quickly.

 

What I have noticed (I am a natural switch) with a partner that says "no" to any kink is this:

I see the layers of beauty in femininity and the little things that women do that is just sexy as hell.

I don't need porn, I enjoy seeing the woman's curves, how they dress and the unique things they do. I see the depth and enjoy women as they are without requiring "dopamine love".

I have always respected women and wish them to be liberated and leaders in life, and always to have the choice they desire in private.

But I actively now try to support them more so they can succeed and take great joy in helping wherever I can.

Lastly and most importantly, I take the raw sexual energy I have in my body, and I use it to improve me. I make myself more empathic and use my emotions and empower my masculinity to be a full man. One where I can set positive boundaries and work through issues, and also in the long term if things don't or can't work. End it positively and move on to where I can share my masculinity with a full-fledged woman where she can lead if she wants, have a shared partnership if she desires that, and I can also be a masterful "daddy/master" if need be.

But the latter only happens in pure respect and consent, and trust me ... knowing both sides of the coin, I will make the sub enter a deep deep submissive state and they will know my masculinity will never harm them ... it will make them reach for the gold ring of submission. This would apply to a woman, trans-woman or in a shared partnership.

 

For us, FLR was just the only way to extend chastity, beyond the bedroom, and beyond the simple sex kink. A little background is needed:

My wife is a powerful individual; she likes to decide and take charge, she has a lot of ideas, and likes people to fall in line and help her achieve her visions. But she was raised in the south, where she was congratulated when she was a « good » pushover women, and shamed when she was loud, bossy, daring, ambitious and so on...

As for me, I am a pretty charismatic and influential person in all our social settings, but I find bossing people and being in charge of others often exhausting. It is natural to me to let other decides for many things ; but I have been raised to « be the man » and take charge, and be independent and oblivious to other people’s need.

We use chastity and the sexual power exchange as a fuel, and then create rules and guidelines to expand that power exchange beyond the bedroom into our daily lives.

Through FLR, my wife learns to ignore her education, and to be assertive and take charge, and to not fold when she meets resistance. It starts with me of course but also expands little by little to all people and settings.

Through FLR, I learn to ignore the male ego that was forced in me by education; I learn to not take charge of things I’m not meant to lead; I learn to be more considerate of people : not be too loud, not to interrupt them; use my charisma in a gentle charming way, rather than in an oppressing or overwhelming kind of way.
Again, it started with my wife, but slowly expands to other individuals and settings.

i should add that without FLR rules, I tend to follow my male education and fight and pushback, and my wife as a result follows her own conditioning and folds, which derails any chastity dynamic beyond a couple weeks.

with FLR, chastity becomes much longer and create a natural balance in our relationship

 

In simple terms, our FLR means that she's wearing the pants in our relationship and we both openly embrace that. We see each other as "different equals" with equally important but opposing responsibilities. She's the yin to my yang.

What are the benefits for the keyholder and what are the benefits for the sub?
My Mistress loves being in charge because she gets whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. She's told me in the past that the sensations of being in control is a healthy outlet for her anxiety. She also gets relieved of many of the mundane burdens in life such as the household chores and domestic duties. To top it off, she's entitled to a life of pleasure and relaxation full of on-demand massages, salon/spa treatments, and as many orgasms as she desires.

On the flip side as her slave, I thrive on being responsible for providing a labor of love through servive and the experiencing the sweet release of surrendering control to her. I am fairly "A" type in my vanilla life and being her slave allows me to experience the uncontrollable through a controllable means. My Mistress is my soulmate and I appreciate everything about her.

As a couple, we go about our lives together with a level of trust and openness neither of us could find as a vanilla couple. I know that she's got my best interests in mind, even if and when she's displeased or having a bad day. While we've incorporated a lot of rituals, protocols, rules, and responsibilities over the years, it all goes back to our simple golden: we discuss, she decides, and I obey.