Highly Controversial.

Spoiler - I generalise a lot in this reply.

I think it’s probably true that most of us chastity fetishists are turned on by seeing images of locked men. I am and have a BDSMLR blog that is mostly images of locked men, including me. However I think for most that arousal is through imagining ourselves in that situation, so the locked man in the images is a proxy for the male viewer rather than the direct subject of that viewer’s arousal.

Are the majority of locked men closeted homosexuals? I doubt it. Are some? Undoubtedly. Are others closeted (or not) bisexual or bicurious or any other sexuality on the spectrum? Undoubtedly. I don’t see why chastity would have more of any one sexuality than any other. But I have found that those of us with this fetish are often more open in discussing it with, and sharing experiences with, other men online.

I suspect that is because it is a shared experience that most of us would not happily discuss with our real world friends the way we might go to a friend for advice or a moan about a more vanilla sexual issue. Sitting with a friend over a coffee saying ‘my wife and I had an argument because she extended my lockup and I haven’t cum in a month’ is different to ‘my wife and I had an argument because we haven’t had sex in a month.’ The latter is a shared experience in that anyone in a relationship can understand it, whether they’ve been through themselves or not, so the man isn’t making himself vulnerable in his eyes the way he would by discussing something more niche that his friend may not be aware of. Peer groups are important to men and the fear of judgement from peers plays a large part in men’s social interactions.

I am not surprised that the majority of participants on a site like this are male. Let’s face it - men watch more porn than women. I would imagine most men first discover chastity through exposure to it in porn. Since more men watch porn, more men are likely to have been exposed to chastity than women and so are more likely to have sought out a site like CM. This site certainly seems to attest to the fact that it is more often that not the male partner in a heterosexual relationship that introduces the idea of chastity. I’ve also found that in general men are more common on message boards, even vanilla world message boards, than women. Mind you that may just be the message boards that I frequent and not representative.

 

The longer I am locked the more I tend to think and fantasize about more extreme things.

If I am free and able to masturbate I rarely think about being pegged.

Once I have been in chastity and orgasm denied I have wondered what a real cock would feel like, and really enjoy when mistress pegs me.

But I cant STAND the thought of kissing a man, I do not find men attractive at all, nor would I like a sexual relationship with a man.

Does that make me bi ?? I don't think so.

The common theme here is that men are inherently more horny than women. Men typically want a lot more sex than women do, almost in any form that it takes....

Its hard to define BI sexual, would I let a man fuck me, probably...as long as he kept his mouth shut and I didnt have to kiss or look at him. But I love to admire mistress at any angle at any time of the day and could spend all day just drinking her top to bottom.

 

Fox Mulder had a poster on his office wall which explains this.

 

I googled this got a lot of "I want to believe" poster information nothing else.

 

Yep. They want to believe that women are secretly bisexual and would maybe indulge in their MFF fantasies.

 

Confirmation bias

 

No, I'm not attracted to men

 

I think guys are just fascinated with cocks.

 

I like it! Took a few seconds for me to click though!!

 

I've seen a few men on this site looking for male key holders or device-wearers, but in my experience most of the guys posting here seem to be either married to, in committed relationships with, or looking for female key holders.

Well, there's a bit to unpack here:

1. What gives you the impression that these guys are turned on by the other men? By their situations and predicaments, yes - I've seen that. But by the actual men themselves? I haven't noticed that.
   
   Susie Bright once wrote about watching porn films made by Andrew Blake with the director himself, and asking why all of the men seemed rather bland-looking compared to the women. Blake replied that the men in his films were meant to be stand-ins for his male viewers, to keeping them unremarkable-looking made it easier for the men to put themselves in the actors's places.
   
   I think that's the sort of "turn on" you're mostly seeing here.
   
   
2. As a lot of the chastity here is done with devices, there's sort of an attraction for gear-heads. As most of the chastity devices worn on this site are worn on male genitals, then having photos of how they fit, and what sort of anatomy they fit (circumsized or in-tact? small, average, or large? etc) can help others get a better idea of how the devices might fit them.
   
   
3. This site is almost exclusively devoted to male chastity. Why would there be that many photos of women here?

The number of men who experience erectile dysfunction is notable enough that an entire industry has developed around the issue. Also, especially as women get older, vaginal pain can be experienced during sex and -- oddly - there's not as big an industry surrounding that.

So, yes, alternative means of sexual intimacy can become more prevalent.

However, as has frequently been argued by lesbians: use of a dildo does not mean that the bottom wants sex with a man. Most lesbians have g-spots, and most men have prostate glands. While it's possible that gay men talking and writing about the joys of anal sex may have sparked the initial mainstream interest in "pegging", entirely more men - bisexual and heterosexual - have discovered it and have been singing its praises as well

You will pretty much find that, I think, with almost any co-ed forum regarding sexuality, so that one bit of evidence would suggest that the majority of men around the world are gay.

Given your apparent fascination with gay men, it could be worth some research on your part.

I think there'd be a heck of a lot more posts in the personals section regarding "down low" hookups if that were the case.

So ... no.

 

If you want to stop receiving notice that people have replied to this thread, click on “unwatch thread”. If you want to stop seeing it scroll up on your feed, then click on “ignore thread”.

As you’ve already noticed that your repeated demands that people stop commenting on this thread don’t work, perhaps taking another strategy might make your visits here more pleasant? It’s easier to control what you see in your own thread than what others post in it.

Good luck with part 2, though.

 

So, you’re upset that people are joining in on the conversation based on your original question, but in ways that you don’t approve? But you’re still insisting on reading the thread, and haven’t mentioned requesting directly to moderators that they shut it down?

Huh. Okay. Has it occurred to you to add more nuanced questions to the thread so that you can steer the never-ending conversation to your will?

 

Well, if nothing else it continues to be an excellent experiment in what happens when one knowingly posts a likely controversial thread on a forum during a pandemic when people are kinda bored.

 

That may just be you mate

 

Are the majority of men in chastity closeted gay men? I've been a member here for I think close to four years. In that time I have probably ran across less than a dozen openly gay men. The rest seem rather enamored with women. I suppose some might be closet gay or bisexual. I was a closet transgender woman, and now am asexual but prefer the companionship of women. Still married to my wife and have zero desire to be with a man.

 

Ha! I wish I was gay! I would have found somebody a long time ago. Lol

Like other bdsm kinks I think that the attraction to the behaviors, activities and emotions derived are quite apart from orientation. Then I think you look to experience those things with someone who is attractive to you.

 

I think I’ve kind of said this already in another thread but for me yes and no lol.

I think it’s allowed me to understand I’m probably more bi than I thought I was but for me there are still limits. I find women sexy and appealing and I’m very much submissive to females. Males do not interest me at all I’m terms of looks or wanting to be submissive around, in fact I’m more dominant around men being a mostly typical Alpha male.

But and I do sometimes fantasise about my @MistressS making me suck or have sex (giving or receiving) with another male, and I think if I was in that position I’d enjoy it and happily do it (in theory :0) but I couldn’t be intimate with a male in so far as kissing, cuddling etc for me it’s just be sex with no emotional connection. Certainly I don’t want to serve a master or have a relationship of any kind with a male.

Maybe I’m a little odd I don’t know but for me the emotional side could only be with a female hence the yes and no (0:

Like I said I guess I’m a little bi but not homosexual. I hope that makes sense lol

PS it took @MistressS a long while to get me to admit that, I think I was scared that if I admitted that I thought about sex with another man or even admit I wondered what it was like for another man to be inside me, would mean I’m homosexual and living a lie etc. The reality was admitting it just made me feel more secure about my sexuality and desire for women. Odd how the brain works

 

The advent of the internet released unkown quantities of desires and wants, many of which people didnt even realise they had until exposed to the idea. I dont like labels as such, even if i do use them myself, to a degree, but i try not to use derogatory terms, as i see it, you like what you like and you dont like what you like.

When you take on a life partner, as i am fortunate enough to have, then it becomes compromise between two peoples desires, expectations and lusts. Gender doesn't really come into, and for many people sexuality doesnt either because many people did not get the opportunity to explore. Thats what should be important, too many people wonder about sex/kinks/fetishes etc, but what is important is maintaining and developing the desire between the people you love, and communicating it. Regardless of the consequences. If the consequences turn out to be that bad, then no matter how good friends you might have been, then your not sexually compatible.

People need to start deconstructing the idea of relationships from the perspective of social norms, and start to rely on personal feelings and trust their instincts more.