No real chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by steph17, Aug 10, 2020.

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  1. Deleted member 75752
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    LOL, thanks.

    Trust me, I made a LOT of mistakes in the first few months. I got called out on every one and learned that I could NOT fake the attitude I have when chaste.
     
  2. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Long term member

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    The physical barrier of a chastity cage has to come second to the mental barrier of a desire to give up "ownership" of your sexual function.

    If you completely rely on having a device attached to be truly chaste, then i think its doomed to fail. The will to escape or cheat the system will (most likely) win out. If your mind and will are strong enough to let go of that part of you, to serve someone elses needs ahead of your own, the device becomes secondary and removes the temptations of occasional lapses in mental state or casual touching.
     
  3. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    This guy writes a lot of nonsense, but he manages to explain why, even though there's no such thing as "inescapable chastity", it doesn't mean all devices are worthless:

    There's a lot more of his drivel here:

    https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2020/04/17/consent-and-sensibility-2/
     
  4. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    Here's my two cents.

    There's a difference between "consent" and "choice".

    In my case, I was 100% who suggested it in my relationship and if I'm being honest really the main driver. But what my wife and I discussed (and continue to off and on) is that she has the choice.

    I consented to her *always* making the choice of when I get to get unlocked and cum. I can ask, she can say yes or no. She has the choice.

    That said, I can always withdraw my consent at any time (like any other person), and if I did so, we'd end playing this way.

    Basically, I consented to let my wife always have the choice.
     
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  5. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    Of course no chastity is inescapable. Which is why I went on at length about online sessions blowing and usually being from people who get sexual attention they wouldn't receive otherwise.

    The difference is being in an actual relationship with someone holding you accountable. Sure it's still escapable but then say goodbye to ever participating in it again with your partner if you're just gonna head out to your workshop and cut it off.

    It's what you make of it.
     
  6. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    Also, me personally, wouldn't want to be bringing such tools so close to a delicate area but to each their own.

    So as long as the cage and lock is still in place you're showing a level of commitment to your partner. Could you get off in it? Sure. But still there's other things you can't do with it on. Like regular sex. Achieve a full erection. Go to the bathroom normally. Sleep with other people. So I think it still has it's merits. But yeah if you're gonna just get Bolt cutters and wag the proverbial middle finger by doing so then it's not for you.
     
  7. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    This dude is negging and mocking those with an interest in power play and chastity.

    I don't want to argue but I will mock you.

    Any male can be made to orgasm with a cage on. Prostate stimulation, vibrator on the cage, sounding ... But the whole point is it is a symbol between two people that the man's orgasm is not his and to reduce the risk if failing the test of chastity.

    I could be wrong but this post leaves a bad taste in my mouth ...
     
  8. northern_fox
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    northern_fox Member

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    #33 northern_fox, Aug 11, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2020
    There's also the fact that what you are referring to as 'real' (as a lori owner you ought to know this) is that it's REALLY expensive and requires a lot of patience. I've probably spent 5k+ on devices in the last 8 years - the most realistic outcome is a device that effectively gives you the experience you desire.

    For me, comfort was the biggest blocker - for others there are other barriers. Just because you are locked by PA in a device which would be dangerously difficult to remove doesn't make your experience any more real. It's just what you prefer.

    Hell - I'm a post op trans woman. If removing every bit of those organs can't stop me, then I guess it's game over for 'real' chastity :)
     
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  9. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Long term member

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    Kids, don't feed the troll!
     
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  10. Cageless chastity guy
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    I also am in chastity without a cage. We have a contract that I will not cum without her permission. She would know if I broke that, but also trusts me to not break it. I have only cum twice this year and am on day 48 now. The longest she has made me go is 157 days.
     
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  11. madams-sissysub
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    that is true, but remember, even Santa only cums once a year to!;)
     
  12. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    each to their own.

    None of us is perfect, and everyone falls short of their ideals some time or other. That's life. The thing is to just get the cage back on and start again. Better this time.
     
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  13. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    You don't want to argue because you can't with your position; it has no leg to stand on. You could easily remove your device within 5 minutes.
     
  14. Dogtanian69
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    Dogtanian69 Long term member

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    Thank you for your expert opinion, but. i could certainly cut the master lock off my cage, that’s true. However, this part of my marriage would be over..... we would be back to boring, vanilla life and neither of us want that, so..... Besides, my BON4M doesn’t slip, my balls have never popped out AND being circumcised and the girth that I am, the small is a perfect fit, it’s tight against the head and shaft, it won’t pull out, so... given that I’m not cutting the lock anytime soon..... my release is at my Wife’s pleasure
     
  15. Alana
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    Alana Long term member

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    @steph17 I don't currently have a keyholder to answer too. ...But, At this point in my journey I wear my cage almost all the time (24/7 for weeks at a time) ...because it honestly feels weird NOT to wear it. I keep my keys in a timesafe. I haven't had a proper O since the beginning of November 2019 (Unless you count a wet dream last month) When I must take my cage off (for cleaning, hair removal, etc), I usually can't wait to put it back on and my desire to touch while it is off is almost nil

    So my question(s) to you ...Am I somehow doing it wrong? If I am, Is it because I don't have a KeyHolder? ...Or Is it because I wear a Queens Keep instead of a Lori 5B?

    On second thought, nevermind I don't really care what your answer is. Here is mine;

    Chastity (as with any other kink) is being done correctly when it works for all parties involved.
     
  16. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    IMO, it's about mindset. If you're lucky to find just the right KH, who actually enjoys the whole situation and the power exchange that comes with it, the very thought of removing the cage won't even enter your mind.
     
  17. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    Well to be honest I do not see it that way, I like to be controlled, the problem taken out of my hands so as to say.
     
  18. Alana
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    Alana Long term member

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    That is you. stop projecting onto everyone else and claiming that YOUR way is the ONLY WAY
     
  19. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    I think this is pure fantasy (to think that you will ever be controlled) because it will always happen on consense and it not it would be an abusive relationship.
    You are giving someone the permission to controll you and as long as he/she have the permissions he/she can do this.
    But you could simply say "no/stop" and it would be over.
    If this wouldn't be possible it would be abusive (my opinion).
     
  20. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    And that's exactly why NCC is so great.
     
  21. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    Over thinking it. At it's simplest position a kink to spice up the bedroom. Other people want uh concentration camps for white people and cuckholding and feminization programs and what not. At the end of the day, if you find a partner and try to get them into to it, do you want them reading this stuff? When they try to figure out what chastity is about? A lot of nonsense.
     
  22. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    I think if my wife would have read shite like this when we first introduced chastity to our relationship she would have run a mile.
     
  23. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    I must admin that I often have to look up abbreviations which seems common between you long term CM members.

    I know CNC:
    -> consensual non-consent
    for example "rape play" which needs lots of communication before.

    But what is NCC ?
     
  24. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    Hmm, I think that this is "Equalism" and I strongly disagree that concentration camps and cuckholding should be mentioned in the same sentence.
    I would never (ever) become a cuckhold, because I couldn't stand the "angst" and beeing jealous, but I can see that if someone is strong enough to handle this it means that the other person can live very free and do what she wants/needs. Sounds like the total opposite of concentration camps to me.
     
  25. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Exactly. Some may have it, and some might not, but the correct mindset required is the one that works for you, not an idealised one that works for someone else.
     
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