Giving up some control.

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Wade, Aug 5, 2020.

  1. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    I hope this is the right place for this.

    I am a very alpha male by nature. My job, hobbies, and family life all require it and I am happy that way. It's who I am.

    When I looked into chastity at first, I was intrigued. The thought of giving up some control and giving it to my wife would be amazing, especially knowing it would just be between us. Making her sex life better at my experience has already been very pleasant.

    My question, How many guys out there who enjoy this lifestyle still live the alpha life outside the bedroom? Is it possible or does it generally lead to a more submissive personality in the real world.

    Thanks in advance. Just trying to get a good grasp on the situation.
     
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  2. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    I'm not an alpha, very much a beta. Was sub way before chastity. So for me, chastity was just an extension of my natural tendencies. But for true Alphas, from what i've seen here from others, it is more likely that you retain your true nature outside of your chastity interaction with wife. Many men here find it easy to separate the two as you submit only to your wife not to others. In fact, i bet it is your Alpha nature that makes your chastity play with wife more exciting for her. Relax and enjoy with her. Kick butt with the others .
     
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  3. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Thank you very much. That is what I was hoping to hear. I know it is different for every person and in the end, it is all on my shoulders.
     
  4. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    and yes...she has made several comments as to how me being submissive to her makes her feel.
     
  5. Enchained
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    Enchained Junior Member

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    Chastity's the Yin to your Alpha Yang - and so the harmony of the universe is maintained. Seriously though, talk to any Pro Dominatrix / Mistress and they'll ll tell you you'd be surprised who their clients are.
     
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  6. madams-sissysub
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    There are several members here who identify just as your self, and the advice missyB has given is spot on.
     
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  7. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    My BR is very alpha to all outside of the bedroom. Yes I am very controling and run everything in the household but it is just between us.
    It is generally men who are in high profile work, positions of power who have a need to relinquish some of that power in their personal lives. Chastity will not change who you are it will just make you a better version of yourself especially with your woman. Best wishes.
     
  8. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Long term member

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    I think this is a perfect summation.

    Thank you
     
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  9. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I can see how the dynamic of our relationship can impact upon me outside of the relationship. I am still as assertive as I need to be when the occasion arises and equally well self controlled.

    My Lady though has become more self -assertive in the work place which has done her no harm at all. The pay rises she has obtained for herself have done her and her self esteem the world of good too.
     
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  10. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Thank you very much. I have already noticing a difference in my mood on my high stress day. With all the feedback here, I am certain this can only be good thing for my day to day affairs . Thank you again.
     
  11. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    I agree .
     
  12. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    I think much of the same could happen with my wife . Thank you .
     
  13. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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    Yes, there many who are, shall we say, leaders and not followers here.
    I enjoy being a ‘switch’ in as little of the BDSM life-style that I can have with my wife! But it is only my wife and only in a sexual context that I’m happy to be submissive to.
     
  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @Wade hello and welcome to here and im glad that You have come here and glad that You are happy and like what it is now and what MissyB sayed.
     
  15. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Glad to be here and thank you very much .
     
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  16. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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  17. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    I'm definitely submissive in the bedroom and our sex life is all about Mrs Chaste. In everyday life not so much at all. I work and Mrs Chaste stays home, so my lunch is made for me to take to work, my evening meal is prepared for me. When I get home I'm greeted with the evening paper and a cup of coffee! All these things are very much appreciated. Mrs Chaste is really the "head of the house" though. She is a matriarchal figure, in a caring way. I do "do" things for her pleasure and enjoyment though. When we are away on holiday or I am off work things change in as much as she is more dominant but only mildly so. I retire next summer and I think things maybe a bit different then. But one thing won't change and that's Mrs Chaste telling me how sex is "all about me".
     
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  18. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Sounds very much like our dynamic. I glad to here this it has stayed that way . Thank you .
     
  19. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    As I said I think it might change a bit when I retire. I'll let you know!
     
  20. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Thank you.
     
  21. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    I'm one of those... very much a leader with other people in public, and a submissive in my private life in the bedroom. But chastity has changed me to be more considerate of others, in all areas of my life. Or is it that because I changed, I took up chastity?
     
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  22. Wade
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    Wade Active member

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    Awesome . Thanks .
     
  23. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Can't say I've noticed that sort of change. I still can't suffer fools, or opinionated bigots! If I don't like people I can't hide it! I really don't want anything to do with them!
     
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  24. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    As an "Alpha Male" sometimes it is best to lead by example.
     
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