New - Chastity in Long Distance!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by MistressMW, Jul 25, 2020.

  1. MistressMW
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    MistressMW New member

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    Hi everyone! Thank you for having me.

    I have kind of a unique situation and this could get a little bit lengthy so bear with me.

    To be completely transparent I am a part-time sex worker and a couple of months ago one of my new customers quickly became more than that to me. He is into a variety of things and has always mentioned chastity, which was exciting for me as it had always been something I was very interested in. We spent a couple of months talking outside of our avenue of meeting and I just got home a couple days ago after spending a long weekend with him in person. We had a lovely time.

    Something to notate here - although we had an amazing time together, it was found that due to his porn watching and masturbation frequency, he has become reliant on it and has a hard time reaching orgasm without it. I know I wasn’t the problem, but we had to get creative in order for him to cum.
    He had mentioned before wanting to explore actual chastity to help him with that and after our weekend together he decided he wants to pursue that and for me to help him. We already have a Domme/sub dynamic, just hadn’t incorporated chastity yet.

    He ordered a CellMate device and is waiting for it to arrive now. This seemed like a good option as I live across the country from him, and it will allow me to control it remotely. This brings me to my questions/thoughts -

    I REALLY want to make this an enjoyable experience for both of us. How do I know how long I should keep him locked? Our dynamic is hard because we aren’t with eachother everyday for him to serve me - what are some ways I can have him serve me in our situation? I guess I am just feeling very vanilla in this and I am the one that needs to lead us in this.

    Be easy on me, I feel lost and overwhelmed trying to educate myself more on this! Any ideas or thoughts welcome. Thank you in advance!
     
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  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Hello and welcome. Good luck with your new relationship. As for how long to lock up, start low and work up. That way you'll be able to talk it through as you go along, deciding each time whether you want it to last longer next time. Gradually build up till you reach the optimum length of time.

    Good luck.
     
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  3. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    First and foremost, I would like to welcome you to The Mansion. However, my stance on your locking situation is to keep him lock for no more than a week.

    I assure you, if you make him wait even a couple days he you will see a change and he is not going to be porn to get off. After doing this a couple times he is going to understand the only way he is going to "get off" is from you.

    Chastity has been a great dynamic for my wife and I, just don't forget the position he is in and give him a little "attention" for a minute or two a day.
     
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  4. amvetsb
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    amvetsb Long term member

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    Welcome!
    'training'.... Just some conditioning advise....
    Start off with a break-in period and build up to longer durations locked with less time unlocked over time. Do not expect him, or his bits, to be able to jump right into 'full and real chastity'.... Try to reach a point where every waking moment he's unlocked, then on a Friday or before a day he doesn't have to be anywhere the next day, begin the nights, they are the hardest and will cause some sleeplessness that gets better with time...
    At first, this is about getting him used to being caged, permit self-pleasure within reason, but make him tell you when he has done this!!! Orgasms aren't a bad thing, but he needs to adjust to not having them as often, then not at his whim, then over time, only when you let him have them....
    Take it easy on yourself, AND him. It will take a lot of getting used to!
    Over time, you both will get the hang of things physically, emotionally and mentally. Allow him a regular chance to speak freely about what he is experiencing. I've heard it said before that 75% of a 'sex worker's' job is to be a therapist... Not a bad thing, just have to be willing to listen to or watch out for signs that things aren't going right...
    That said, eventually start taking charge, mainly of when/how/if he gets to have pleasure. This with chastity will also be something that you will be 'in charge of' when he even has access to his bits!
    Keep it fun, if it's not fun, why bother,.,.
    Okay, best of luck!
     
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  5. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
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  6. RhiannonT
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    RhiannonT Long term member

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  7. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    Welcome to the Mansion
     
  8. Cumschot
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    Cumschot Long term member

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    Welcome here your highness
     
  9. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Welcome to our community and I hope you find it a good resource to help with your unique situation. I know there are lots of experienced folks here who can give you good advice. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  10. Eve
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    Eve Long term member

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    Welcome. To CM
     
  11. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Welcome to the mansionn teasing is the key and asks Miss Lucy to be a certified woman.
     
  12. Neo in Neo
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    Neo in Neo Active member

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    Welcome to CM

    You and you locked guy are setting out on a thrilling new adventure.

    I echo @amvetsb’s advice training and break in are key.

    Once past that. A few long distance suggestions.
    1. I believe the cell mate allows for WiFi release which can be a lot of fun to create tease denial sessions. The key to the tease denial is the second part - denial. Perhaps some face time, give access, but no cumming, tease him allow him to stroke and then have him relock himself.
    2. creative release, get him to tell you or write for you his fantasies, how he’ll please you. You can set the schedule on this, perhaps he should be spending as much time as he was spending watching porn writing about how he wants to make you feel adored. This presents the opportunity to take control, be critical, set the tone. If you want it more soft core, more erotic, more romantic or whatever you get to dictate that, by this you are starting to set the dynamic that you are in charge. You can easily tie these to those to the tease/denial sessions. He give you what you want you reward him with a few strokes.
    3. Whenever you go out, send him a picture of his key, perhaps symbolic, but it’s a statement, his next erection is top of mind and you choose to deny it.
    4. this is if you move away from the cell mate to a lock and key device. (I’ve always wanted my incredible keyholder to do this) using a realtors lockbox, lock the key somewhere in his neighborhood or town. Don’t tell him where, or the code. Turn it into a game, a kind of scavenger hunt, he gives you what you need he gets a clue. It’s a way of having the key out of reach so he can’t ‘cheat’ while having it accessible if absolutely needed.

    some suggestions to fuel the imagination. Creativity is contagious,
     
  13. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Have you tried the Cell Mate? is it confortable and reliable?
     
  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    please Miss if the man has not been lock up before then praps just lock him for a day or three. it is what You say tho.
     
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  15. Paulette the Tart
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    Paulette the Tart Male maid

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    It's a bluetooth link, not wi-fi. Neither your 'phone nor the device need to be connected to wi-fi.
     
  16. Paulette the Tart
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    Paulette the Tart Male maid

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  17. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    Welcome to the Mansion and best wishes for you both on your journey.

    My KH / Wife and I have had a Cellmate for a number of months now (after years of trying various other devices) and it can be great fun.

    Caution it does take a bit of getting used to - especially if he hasn't worn a device before. Get him to start very slowly (probably with the larger of the two rings supplied) and use lots of moisturiser or vaseline to start with.

    Make sure you both explore the actual Qiui App very carefully BEFORE doing anything. It can be a bit flakey and takes a bit of getting used to. There is on-line Customer Support but not very good or reliable - but there is also an on-line forum within the app where people are very friendly and helpful, a lot like here.

    There are three main settings: Keymaster, Wearer and Regulator. Fairly self-explanatory, the Keymaster controls the device and is the only one who can open it. (There is also a 'timer' setting: minutes, days, hours and weeks. Once the timer is set NO-ONE
     
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  18. Sissy-CJ
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    Sissy-CJ Long term member

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    Hi and welcome to CM.

    If you’re both new to chastity I’d suggest slow build up, it’s not easy to jump straight in, as someone who was addicted to porn too I can say it will be frustrating but equally rewarding in time.

    There will be some here better to help than me but just wanted to say hi lol
     
  19. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    AN OPE
     
  20. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    Sorry I got sidetracked and this timed out ! Please just ask if you have any more questions.
    Have fun.
     
  21. WannaLockCock
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    WannaLockCock I'm your huckleberry!

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    Welcome to Chastity Mansion. I know with time this can work out. As stated earlier take it slow and build up from there. Have fun and enjoy Chastity Mansion. There are a plethora of ideas on here and very understanding and helpful people.
     
  22. lockmeup4life
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    lockmeup4life Long term member

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    Try unlocking him frequently, then slowly add time....
     
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