Single male vs married male views of chastity

i have advised males here to put away their toys and find a woman they can love and she love them, tell her what you are open to and what you could never do. then allow her the pleasure of coqueering her spouse on her terms, you are hers to make you what she wants. that is the core of power exchange. if you try to top from the bottom in any way it ceases to be power exchange for her. she becomes your fantasy enhancer . (slave).....

 

The only problem is that you have to ensure kink compatibility as well.

 

I think you are right about the young male expectations. However, people like myself have more reservations.

I myself have asked my wife to dominate me. She accepts the role. However, she puts very little effort into it. I have told her that I want to serve her every need. I have tried showing her my level of devotion. It has become a stagnate topic. I just recently asked her to chastise me. Her reply was I don't need that. I make her happy.

My point to her was that I do not get sex from her very often. I am always horny. I asked please do me the favor and lock me up. I love my wife with everything that I am.

So chastity means something way different to me than most people. I chose to ask her for it. This is a way to relieve her and my tensions from my set drive. I eagerly look forward to lock down.

 

Such complexity we all live in and desire.
Tough to find a good, positive and fun equilibrium in it all.

 

Well yeah.

In reality there is not true slavery. That went out in the 1800s.

If the man ain’t fulfilled he isn’t staying. If the women isn’t fulfilled she isn’t saying.

Which is why, even in dom-sub relationships, compatibility is not only important, but paramount.

 

Yep. Compatibility is a two-way street. So if a guy starts with a one-sided vision of the future, it doesn't matter whether he is a sub or not.

 

Very true, never should it be one sided. Everything we share and hold nothing back. I work within the boundaries of that. What I can say is that ultimately it comes down honesty and trust. With chastity that takes a lot off the table. That way she can relax and enjoy life more.

 

Why would you have to ensure that?

I've had very satisfying relationships that were not kinky, because it's only one aspect of a relationship and if the other things are great why would you dismiss someone just because you have kinks? I think that values kink way too much, no matter how enjoyable finding a like minded sexual partner is.

My husband and I knew about each other's kinks before we got into our relationship, and that we share this is an added bonus to an already great relationship. But it's love first, kink second for me.

 

Ooops.

Pushed a button before I meant to.

If kink is important to someone, then kink-compatibility is important as well.

 

For me my kinks are not important. My sex drive is in hyper drive. My wife's is very low. For this reason being kept is the perfect solution for both of our needs. Being in chastity would help me focus more on whats really important.
I would think that my motives are very different than the single guy.

 

I suspect that there are dirty old males (single) too wanting the porno version of chastity. There is more chance of a couple doing chastity that single ones. Not much fun if there isn't a willing partner to keep the key for you.

 

The thing about fantasies are that they are in the mind. They should stay there. Talk about them, have erotic dreams about them, dribble out your cage thinking of them, but yes, in reality they will probably never happen, and very likely never in any way close to you imagined them as. I've got lots of fantasies and will happily tell anyone, well anyone on here, about them. Just click on the chat button

 

Yes. Makes life worth living!

 

I first became aware of chastity when I saw the cages for sale on an adult toy site, it got me intrigued as to what they were and what it was all about. The forum attached to the site had a few discussions on it, but mostly in a playful manner rather than as a 24/7 lifestyle (or FLR, cuckold or other lifestyles beyond merely "playing").

Even when I ordered my cage, I honestly had no idea how it was going to be incorporated into our relationship (and to be truthful am still finding out), but like most things, being open to new experiences and the unknown makes anything possible.

I have watched various videos on the porn sites, some from the loving wife perspective, teasing their partners before either allowing release, or locking them back up through to the hardcore femdom clips including CBT, "sissy" etc. Where I am on that scale, or what truly appeals, certainly towards the more vanilla end of the scale.

Mostly, I am wanting to get closer to her, have her be more active / fun when it comes to sex and sexual play, make sex about her enjoyment even if that means no release for me. As my wife is only luke warm to the idea of chastity and comes from a position of wanting to please me ahead of herself, it is quite a role reversal for her.

I am concentrating on doing things to try and ease her day to day worries as my way of serving her, allowing her to just concentrate on things that she wants to, rather than having to think about everything, but not in a slave / subservient way. Could this change as she becomes more active / involved in chastity, quite possibly, as I don't yet know for sure where our happy place is. But, its been an incredible journey so far and its only really just begun.

 

A known factor, not the whole answer: Sex, sexual intimacy, sexual fantasies are great escapes from anxiety, too. There is a great deal of anxiety in the present. Having a partner reduces anxiety, generally speaking, keeps us married types grounded.