Hey everyone!

I've moved this to the top:
tl:dr - Very open-minded, deviantly pansexual sissy - married to my best friend who is extremely vanilla and doesn't like talking about anything to do with sex. Looking for a place to share experiences and meet fellow like-minded people. Not looking for a relationship or a KH - and hope that my wife will one day be more of an active participant.

Oh gracious. I don't know where to start with this post! Years of built-up frustration from not having an outlet will probably cause me to either ruin this post or work on it for so long that I won't even finish it to my satisfaction. So, with that being said, I guess I'll start with some basics.

While I am pansexual HLm, my wife is the most asexual, vanilla person that I've ever been involved with (or probably known). She firmly believes something is wrong with her and has discussed on multiple occasions her lack of libido with her OB/GYN, which hasn't been much help. No doubt about it, we are in a dead-bedroom relationship, and after perusing the r/deadbedroom subreddit, I've come to the conclusion that I might be in the longest DBR of all of them. We haven't had sex since our 10 year anniversary back in 2013. BUT - this is not a post regarding the details of that problem. I now just consider it to be another form of cuckolding.

Back in 2016, in the interest of sparking more life into our sex-life, and deciding that I wasn't devoting enough time or attention to her after deciding that I was truly a sub trying to be a dom in every other aspect of life, I decided to try chastity and ordered a beginner cage off of Amazon and locked myself up in February of that year. I immediately brought up the topic to my wife, who immediately categorized it into another one of my weird fetishes, but was understanding of my reasoning, while insisting that it wasn't something that she particularly cared about.

I, on the other hand, fell head over heals with the idea of having my member locked. Of course, that beginner cage was horrid and impossible to sleep in and I found myself not being able to last locked up more than a couple of days before major irritation caused me to release myself. Reading articles/posts online, I knew that something wasn't right and after a couple of months of on-again-off-again, I bought a new silicone birdcage knock-off. That experience lasted one night, and I quickly packed it up after my morning erection showed the knockoff that it wouldn't be stopped so easily. I decided to do a little research, spend more money and find a new device, which led me to a HolyTrainer. Except for a brief stint with a custom-made metal cage that wound up being too small in diameter, I haven't looked back. Started with a small, and after irritation from not filling the tube completely 100% of the time, dropped down to a nano. But once again, after prolonged use, I wound up having my glands rubbed raw. Went the sanding route and was a lot better and actually stayed in the nano through a couple of devices (both wound up splitting at the connection point). Then the Nub was introduced, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. I've loved the way it feels on me and I have been locked with it 24/7 except for cleanings / shaving about once per month for the past two years. But today, a new device came in the mail and I already have it on - a KoalaSwim Munchkin Inverted Plugged and Screwed Convertible cage, which I'm extremely excited to see how it does and will be providing a full review on it soon!

I will say that staying self-locked hasn't always been easy. My wife participated as my KH for a brief stint, but I didn't receive any benefit (before you jump on me about being self-centered, the benefit that I was seeking was creating a more FLR dynamic, being her sub, and having her actually interested and more happy with a husband that was willing to do anything for her - not seeking attention or release. My benefit would have been her happiness, but she didn't take much interest in utilizing any new found power over me).

I found the easiest way for me to achieve longer stints locked was to track my time locked through an app on my phone. When I could see the days counting up, it became a game to see if I could beat my previous record - for both being locked and time between orgasms. After a couple of years of this, I became quite adjusted to longer times to where I would rather be locked than unlocked, and along with frequent milking and prostate stimulation, I prefer not to have penile orgasms (but I'm still searching for the elusive prostate orgasm).

Now there is a lot detail in this backstory that could be delved into, including many other kinks (as alluded to earlier), such as my shrinking member, diapers (which I don't consider a kink - been a DL since I was 4), femdom, cuckolding (previous girlfriend cuckolded me - did not want or like it at the time and only years later did I realize what it was), cross-dressing, sissification (I see that isn't very popular among the verified women here - I'm very sorry), anal play (as mentioned), (semi-private) humiliation, spanking, etc. etc. - but I'll save details of these for posts in other forums.

Cheers!

The more the better, right? <exhale>