My wife might be on board

That may be true. But what would be the way forward if this is the case? A reluctant/disgruntled keyholder isn't my goal, so I don't see the point in pushing the issue too hard.

 

Her father is in a skilled nursing facility in one of the major areas of the outbreak. She has reason to fear for him.

 

Thanks for the kind words cshorts.

 

Back in the cage. Basically I wrote her asking her to just tell me if she is not interested in trying chastity any further, and explaining that our worries will always be with us, etc. All stuff covered by me or others above.

She instantly replied that she had been thinking along the same lines and that she wanted me caged, but any chafing or other pain, and she wanted to be ultra safe and take a break.

So I'm back in a cage. I have been for a couple days. I'm at the stage where it's not sexual, but just annoying. I'm not super horny yet, and it's at this point that I always have second thoughts about being caged. They typically disappear once I start to get horny again, but right now it just seems like a uncomfortable bit of clothing that I wear for no reason.

I did have an interesting dream last night. Basically at a party, her friend who is quite attractive and also quite dominant told me, "You should thank me. I'm the one who talked (wife) into putting that cage on you." She laughed at my reaction, which was probably to turn beet red, then she stated that she would have to talk to my wife so that she could take a look at it sometime. It wasn't a question for me. She assumed that I had no say in who saw me in the nude. I wondered if she had read any of my emails which basically give away my power to refuse much of anything. She said it all in front of a couple of her younger sisters who are attractive, and had *those* smiles on their faces.

It was just a dream, but I woke up with all the appropriate feelings as if it had actually happened. Turned on and humiliated at the same time. Both wanting to be exposed to them and dreading it. This dream is a sign of my rapidly returning horniness, and I'm sure that this scenario will become a recurring fantasy.

But until the horniness returns full force, I'm just here wondering why I practically begged to be trapped in this thing.

 

So I've been locked up for 12 days. As always, I initiated the lockup. As always, the keys remain accessible. As almost always, I'm not getting any sort of attention.

Locked and ignored.

In darker moments, I consider acts of rebellion. Maybe I can piss her off and create *some* sort of response. I've kicked around the idea of shaving my body (which she hates). I've even considered approaching my ex. I would give her the keys and she would be instructed to only give them to my wife.

I know... I'm not going to do that. I haven't even seen her in nearly 20 years. Can you image? Not that she wouldn't be happy to do it....

But that's a darker moment. The shaving thing... That could actually happen. I've no idea how it would help. It probably wouldn't. I picture her doing a perpetual eyeroll while she waits for me to grow out of this phase.

It's annoying.

I go back and forth between just taking it off, and keeping it on until she says.

But the kink is not the cage, for me. Wearing the cage is annoying. I'm not getting anything out of it. The kink is her control, and we don't have that. She has failed to take control, even though she says she wants the control whenever I ask her about it.

I continue to wrestle with the urge to give her a nudge without topping from the bottom. Obviously, it's a fine line at best. Maybe any nudge is too much. Maybe a nudge is necessary. Of course I'm not in my right mind at this time. I'm too horny to think straight about kink, but at least I know that much.

 

We have a key safe. I initially put the key inside of it and set up ChastiKey for her. She doesn't want to have it locked away. She has a hard time reading the numbers and just wants the key easily accessible. I have asked several times for her to just keep it somewhere I won't find, but it hasn't happened.

I mean... She's the boss? But honestly, if I can access the keys, is she really in control of anything?

 

Why is willpower so difficult? I've been locked for 2 weeks, but I know where the keys are. Last night, I almost used them. I think I would have if my wife had fallen asleep a little sooner. It was my plan- in a moment of weakness, I made a plan to get the keys and have my fun. The plan fell through, but how long can I hold out?

I woke up super horny. Certainly I thought of using the keys that were right next to our bed. She was already up for the day. It would have been so easy...

Instead, I wrote her an email begging her to take those keys. I explained how long these 2 weeks have felt, and urged her to show me how brief 2 weeks really is. I begged her to punish me for thinking of playing with her toys without her permission.

She did come in and spanked my butt briefly, then she bit my ass on each cheek....

But still those keys remain.


Obviously there has been progress over the last couple years, but the switch has not been made. I'm not sure why. She did agree to let me trim her bush for my birthday, which blows my mind, even if it doesn't actually happen. She has always been adamant that she didn't want to shave. Then out of nowhere, she says she will for my birthday. She's even planning on letting me do it!

I want to stay locked until then, but that's in September..... I don't even know how to make it through tomorrow... I need her help!

 

My motivation to keep this thing on is at the lowest when I barely notice it, and at the highest when I'm horny and desperate and it is physically uncomfortable.

That is counter intuitive until you consider the intended function of the cage: to make you feel desperate and horny. So basically at times when it's not working, it just seems ridiculous. And when it is working, it makes sense (even though it becomes uncomfortable).

I'm having difficulty with motivation. During the day, sometimes I actually pay attention to my work. And suddenly this thing is simultaneously at its most comfortable, but it is also very annoying because it's not working! And because I'm working from home, and because my keyholder doesn't hold me accountable, it's very enticing to think about just taking it off. Just for a few hours. Not even to *do* anything. Just to let it hang.

I'm not sure how to convince my KH wife to hold me accountable. She says she will redden my ass, but hasn't really followed through.

I get it. I had a past lover that wanted me to strike her during sex, and I was open to the idea, but really unsure how to do it. I didn't want to hurt her... So I get the feeling of not being sure how hard to do it. It probably makes it worse that my answer is to make it an actual punishment and do it harder and longer than I want her to.

I want her to hit me harder than I want? It's all so clear!

But really I want her help in keeping me accountable. I'm not sure she wants to do that, but I feel like she would love it if she tried it. Maybe too much!

 

I'm locked 9 days now. Tomorrow is my birthday. I asked for a memorable, red and raw ass spanking. She hasn't really done any spanking that I could still feel even 5 minutes later, but I asked for a spanking that would hurt for days. She told me that spanking hurt her hand, but she will maybe bite me instead. Then she says, "Be careful what you wish for". We'll see how it goes. Am I even ready for that? I don't know, but I would love to have her enjoy it more than me. My idea is to show her that she can enjoy being less timid about my pain. I mean, part of my fantasy is that she uses me as she wants, and if I don't comply or can't meet her expectations, then she will make me wish I did. I straight up want to be controlled by her. You all understand, I'm sure. I don't think she does, though.

If she offers a birthday release, I will ask her not to let me cum. She is on her period anyway, so there is no reason for her to want to release me unless she just wants to cbt me or tease me. That is possible, but a little out of character for her. She does enjoy doing that, but if she does it, it would likely be as a birthday treat.

When I gave her the keys, I gave her a card that I made. On the outside it said "If I didn't want you happy, I wouldn't have given you the keys". Inside, it said "So don't unlock me until you are completely satisfied" and had a image of a gift tag that said "Do not open until Christmas". So I'm suggesting that I'm in it for the long haul. She may not want sex for a couple months (pretty normal for her). My record is around 30 days, so 2 months would be quite long for me. I guess it's possible that she would keep me locked up until Christmas or longer. I'm up for it. Maybe. I just wish she would be more sexual. More flirty. More demanding. More threatening. Same old complaints from a locked sub. I'm trying to be patient, but man time goes so slow when you are seriously horny and locked up!

I feel like if she asks me what I want for my birthday, that I should ask her to keep me until Christmas or New Years. I mean, obviously if she wants sex during that time, she would get it, but then lock me immediately. I want her gift to me to be selfish and try out full-on female focused chastity for a few months. She should discover her needs and ignore mine during that time. Give us both a taste of what we've been circling around for a while now. It sounds scary, but I'm sick of fantasy - I want to experience the reality. Maybe it will make me not want to do it anymore. Maybe she will like it so much that I just have to give her what she wants.

 

I try to be optimistic. She is moving, but very slowly. I keep hoping for one of those breakthrough moments.

 

So.... My wife never fails to state quite plainly that she wants to be in charge. But.... She isn't taking charge.

I don't know how to fix that. I'm giving up on her actually keeping the keys. I just won't use them unless I get permission. That's not ideal, but I think it is what it is for now.

I believe... And this is just a guess, but I think that she is uncomfortable with the role of consent (or lack of consent) in chastity play. I mean, I've given her my consent to do anything with me. But there is still a reluctance factor in the fantasy that skirts the edges of nonconsensual sex play. I honestly think this is the crux of her reluctance to make kink happen.

That, and she's not a particularly kinky person. Putting the vanilla girl in charge of the kink hasn't resulted in more kink. But how else does it move forward?

I've been considering asking for a reward system. You know, doing various chores is worth so many points that I can exchange for sexy times. I just want her to participate. I'd like her to say "Go wash my car. Now, boy".

Why? Shit, who knows. But so far it's just me in a cage and nothing else is different.

So she wants to be in charge. She has stated that many times. I want her to take advantage of this power. I'm not sure how to get there.

 

So this is day whatever it is. I think day 8, but there was only a brief break and an 11 day stint prior to that.

And, I mean, sex is on my mind. Like...
Always. And of course, my wife isn't in a genetalia clamp or anything, so like normal, she isn't thinking about sex at all.

This is, of course part of the issue. I'm doing this to make our relationship more sexual. And it certainly has done something. But... You know... I think that the main thing I've accomplished is to get her attention.

Anyway... One of the things I've always wanted is more oral sex. Like a LOT more oral sex. When we were dating, I made sure to bring it up. And she was totally into it. And that went away immediately after marriage. Like a light switch. She doesn't want to receive it at all, and only gives it rarely (and not particularly well). It's always been a bit of a sore point for me. It's always been something that I loved. So to go from "totally into it" to "I've never really liked it" over the course of however long it takes to say vows....

Well, I'm slightly bitter. Like,she doesn't even want to receive it. I understand, but be honest about yourself when dating.

My theory about women who don't want oral sex is that most of them are self conscious to have someone so up close and personal. They don't understand the attraction (unless they are bi) and feel like an ugly part of themselves is being too exposed. And I get it. I don't want anyone looking at my teeth, which is obviously far less intimate.

So I wrote her a letter. Basically it said that I really miss giving her head. She has a lovely pussy. I love the look, taste and smell, and I understand that it is sensitive for her, but I really think that if she guides me, that I can give her great pleasure. She finds it too sensitive and intense, and my counter to that is that the mouth and tongue is far more capable of being subtle than a penis or fingers, which are more clumsy than lips and tongue by nature. And that I would be willing to let her direct me on when to stop, etc. There was more to it, but that was the gist.

And I asked about it later. And she kinda deferred the question, and I said "Well I didn't hear a no!"

So there is that iron in the fire. We'll see where it goes.

 

You might like Chastity Perkins:

https://medium.com/@chastityperkins

 

My wife had a Zoom gathering with some of her friends last night. Afterwards she told me that she had ordered some sex toys, and I'll have to wait to find out what she got. I guess it was basically a naughty Tupperware party.

I'm managing my expectations because I'm sure that it is purchased from a fairly vanilla selection of toys, but even that is a big change. It will be interesting to see what she bought.