Ladies.... when you’re not feeling it

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BKwife, May 24, 2020.

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  1. BKwife
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    Fellow keyholders, what’s your go to when you know your man is craving your attention but you’re not feeling it/tired or whatever. Guys, I’d love your input too as to what your partner can do to satisfy your need for attention when there isn’t a lot of time or energy
     
  2. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    A quick spanking does the trick. Quick, easy, puts him in that glorious subspace with very little time and energy from me.
     
  3. Servant in Chief
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    I like this! Anything that is clear and unambiguous will do to convey Her message.
     
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  4. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Put your hand on his cage and tell him, “you are staying locked because that’s exactly where I want you and that’s all I want right now.” He won’t feel locked and forgot and get a little thrill that you are actively expressing your power and deneying him.
     
  5. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Or similar but she asks "How are things?", Clearly implying the chastity and her awareness of it.
    Once I respond that things are good, the perfunctory nod and subsequent 'cruel' dismissal of my situation drops me into the zone.
     
  6. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Thank you for recognizing this is important. You are very special to be making an effort.

    I think many people are feeling this way to varying degrees right now. He probably knows you are not at the top of your game, so any effort should be appreciated. Let him know you are challenged. If he is paying attention, he may step up and take a little pressure off of you.

    Simple actions or words can have a large impact on him. A suggestive statement can be very powerful. A light caress, a tug, a threat, a swat, it does not need to be complex or time consuming. Tease him with a little display of skin at bed time. His reaction may perk you up a bit.

    A hug and a kiss always works.

    FLR, chastity, vanilla, whatever. This is normal. He will have those days too.
     
  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    I find that simple commands do a lot. Saying i need to do something, or provide a service, or display some proof of my submissive position, can have a big impact. Often you think, Mistress is busy elsewhere, but a simple statement can refresh your obedience to her.
     
  8. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    I personally feel it is important to give simple reminders that you haven't forgotten they are locked up. Little touches through the day, pull their shirt to bring them closer, pats/grabbing...

    This gentle reminders keep people aroused and interested even keeping a small light at the end of the tunnel.
     
  9. Mistress2U
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    Those are the times that I resort to BDSM. Not sure if it's taboo on here, as to I don't hear many talk about it.
    A nice tight spread eagle, use of a butt plug, or a hood w/ a straight jacket. Very simple to implement while allowing me to get his attention. Yet, I can roll over and go to sleep or do whatever it is I please.
     
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  10. MissyB
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    That would certainly work for me - some time kneeling in my humbler would make me feel very appreciative of my role.
     
  11. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    This.

    The simplest things make me crazy.
     
  12. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Just try saying no.

    Surely the one with the keys is in charge?

    Alternately try counting up out loud: "one", "two", "three"... Decide if these are days, weeks, months or years before you "can be bothered again".
     
  13. cjack
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    cjack Active member

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    Oh my!!
     
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  14. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    The other night my wife got me. I knew I wasn't getting unlocked but I wanted to hear her orgasm. So I cuddled up and started a little foreplay. She played along. I went to pull her pajamas off and she pulls them back up. "Ok that's it, good night." And she rolled over and went to sleep.

    I was straining hard that night.
     
  15. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    As you can see from every post here, all you need to do is "keep playing the game". Anything that shows him that you are still interested does the job.
     
  16. RC-Oz
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    Some of these suggestions seem like a lot of effort for someone who is “not feeling it or tired”.
    I have to add my vote for a pat on the cage and a little chuckle or smirk. Minimum effort, serious impact. Should increase his motivation to pamper you more just when you need it the most.
     
  17. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Long term member

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    I don’t think it’s taboo at all. In fact I enjoy it mentally as long as BKwife doesent get to rough. Big difference between funisment and BK Punishment!
     
  18. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    I agree with this too.
     
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  19. Mistress2U
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    Actually, he puts on the cuffs or straight jacket. All I do is buckle them up. Effortless. Many days after working 12+ hours, I'm wiped and have no energy to concoct something up and make it happen.
     
  20. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    Yes all it takes is a short and sweet comment so he knows you have not forgot about it. Even a simple I’am not feeling up to it and I am so glad you have that on. A quick peck on the cheek and keep on walking by and he will not be sure what just happened. Or like one day Mistress says to me I have so much going on and I am so stressed right now I want you to put that thing on so I do not have to worry about pleasing you.
     
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  21. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    If it works for you, great! Not downplaying you at all.

    Not all of us have a partner that even would allows a straight jacket in the house. So that in itself would be a monumental undertaking.

    Seriously happy for the two of you that even your not in the mood play involves cuffs or a straight jacket. I could only image what goes on when you are in the mood!
     
  22. Ilikebond
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    Ilikebond Long term member

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    My wife just tells me she doesn’t want to play tonight. I leave her alone and go reload some ammo or something.
     
  23. MRS.Lilith
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    MRS.Lilith Kitchen Mistress
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    If I am tired I often tease him with a little edging, and then ask for something I want him to do to earn his next session. So for example I ask him to take me somewhere I want to go the next day, and if he satisfies me he gets to earn a session with more attention.

    But sometimes I also flat out deny him, he needs to remember who's in charge sometimes. He likes that he never knows what I am going to decide.
     
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  24. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Several of the answers point out how simple it can be: a simple squeeze with an explicit statement that she's happy you'll remain caged for her or a reminder that she controls your erection is enough. Never let a day go by without simply reminding him of his locked and denied status.
     
  25. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    I like the idea he does the preperation for the bondage.
     
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