Is Male Masturbation Disrespectful of Women?

If no -one is being exploited , getting hurt or being abused then what motivates you masturbate, fuels you drive or your fantasy is really unimportant to everyone...with of course the exception of yourself and your keyholder/mistress.

However...If you have been told ordered or simply asked to not do something by a female in your life and you do not honour that then you are being at best disrespectful and perhaps, especially in the opinion of some, worse that disrespectful, if that were not bad enough.

I will say this though.. Your motivation for asking the question in the manner in which you did and with the post that accompanied it I am intrigued as to what you may or might have hoped to gain from asking it.


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All I know is my emotions have been very close to the surface as I get used to the new control my Wife has over me. There was one evening where she told me she loved me and that she was having a hard time with something unrelated to the chastity so I could stop worrying that it was something I had done. The relief was so intense and the love I have for her welled up so much that I burst into tears! I haven't cried like that since I was a teenager!

It doesn't surprise me to hear that you are struggling with understanding some of the feelings you are currently having. It sounds like you are taking this chastity thing as much more than a game, that is always going to be more intense as there is no exit strategy.

 

to answer the question: Is Male Masturbation Disrespectful of Women?

My HK disagrees strongly with me masturbating. She would probably say it is disrespectful to her.

 

In the story I wrote, I characterized masturbation as "self-abuse" and "morally disordered." This came from the perspective of a particular woman with "special agenda" to develop and train her malesub.

Rules, codes, morals, consequences, punishments, strict expectations, self-discipline, denial, desperation, etc. are all sexy angles to approach male submission and femdom authority. I don't see any particular element as universal, but they can be important binders in a specific female led relationship.

 

I think it edges toward sexual addiction. I have struggled with this. I wouldn't look at my mother or my sister in this way so what makes it OK for me to look at other women like this?

 

Firstly, if you remain locked while you appreciate attractive visual images of women then you won't risk disrespecting them.

Secondly, if you cant manage to do that without masturbating then this sort of material might suit you better:
https://xhamster.com/videos/bdsm-for-nm-13419910

 

I don't allow my sub to masturbate either. Nor do I allow him to watch porn.

It makes him less sensitive to my touch, and less interested in pleasing me. Watching porn also makes him want unrealistic things from me, and has the potential to make me less physically attractive to him.

Also, most women in porn are exploited or unaware that they are filmed and my sub should respect women so he's not allowed to be partaking in the potential abuse of women through porn.

 

I think for most males there is a natural aversion to regarding your mother sister,close relative in a sexual way.. probablty some deep seated thing for avoiding in-breeding. Looking at non-related women 'that way' I think is a deepseated normal and natural reaction to most women that any man finds physically attractive.

But just because you have seen a woman and found her to be physically attractive does not mean you have to act in an immature or disrespectful way.

 

I don’t think it’s disrespectful of women, it’s disrespectful if you have been forbidden from doing it and you carry on.

 

I'd say it's disrespectful of the woman if her partner masturbates to his heart's content and ignores her sexual needs completely.

 

Simple answer is Yes. It’s hers to play with not mine.

 

...who the hell would ever -do- that? given the milieu, no surprise to say i'd surrender the former before ever surrendering the latter. so thats a feeling. : )

 

This was actually my problem many years ago. I wasn't trying to ignore her sexual needs, of course. But my compulsion was to masturbate all the time, while her sex drive was significantly lower than my own. So most of the time my masturbation was not a noticeable issue, but when she was in the mood and I couldn't get or stay hard because I had already wanked a couple times that day... that was a problem.

 

I fully understand what you mean. My sex drive was pretty high but it looked like it wasn't because my partner was focusing his attention on his own needs and ignoring mine, thinking I wasn't interested. When I was showing interest he wasn't (for one reason or another, including masturbation); eventually I stopped showing interest. Things are improving now, though.

 

Many of us here are in the exact situation. The cage took care of the issue a couple years ago. Glad it is improving for you.

 

I will make 3 very short points, without respect to individual restrictions based on FLR and chastity lifestyle. I personally think kink wise that it would be a lot of fun for this to be a part of my dynamic, but I make these points for the sake of logical discussion.

1) OP mentions porn in particular. The purpose of porn being created is for sexual gratification. Something created for a purpose cannot be disrespected by it's intended use. Excluding extremely crude and immoral issues with revenge porn, women AND men participating in the production of porn consent to it's use. And I think that consent is an important implication.

2) I think it is highly subjective and personal to determine what should and should not be related to sex. For those saying that reducing someone down to their image for masturbation is wrong because it misses the emotional connection or understanding of who they are as a person, do you also oppose one night stands? Do you also object to play parties? These do not seem to be scenarios where person-hood is the main focus of the event.

3) I would also argue that physical form is intrinsic to sexual gratification of any kind, and would challenge anyone to successfully masturbate to someone that does not have a physical form. I have a hard time believing that you could get off to an idea, or a collection of attributes, without someone or something entering your mind at some point. Maybe you could (I am not you, reader)! But I imagine you would be special. The corollary to that point must be that if physical form is necessary for sexual gratification, then all scenarios of using visual stimulation cannot be wrong or immoral.

These are just some of the points that entered my head as I was reading through the discussion. Happy kink-ing!