His Kink...Making it Ours

While it would be ideal if you were to enjoy it, I don't think you need more than:

The people who act like dominance means never giving your submissive what they want are full of shit or writing jerk off fantasies.

There isn't a one-size fits all solution to that, but:

• Smaller cages help in that they can stop him from getting hard before he does.
• Limiting liquid intake in the hours before sleeping seemed to make it less frequent of an issue for me
• Just sucking it up until your body learns that night time erections are bad and stops.

I don't know the specific details of your relationship, but you don't necessarily have to have a reason beyond wanting to show him what will happen if he breaks one. If that means you show him every week for the next 6 months and he never breaks a rule, so be it. If he complains in a disrespectful way, then you have an excuse right there.

 

Have to agree with unlucky, even though it sounds around the wrong way, shorter cages help head of the erection before they establish properly.

I know some people say the night time arousal goes away, even though I have been into chastity for over 10 years for me the night time problem has never gone away. I found full belts are far better in that respect but probably not what you want to start out with. Even now that I am in my mid 50s they still present a issue.

I found a solution which works very well for me which involves taking a pill about once a week (when they start coming back and waking me i take one). For me it eliminates the issue with no other side effects, but some people would find it rather an extreme thought. However for me its that or the big belt, and the smaller cage is far easier to deal with day to day than the one pictured in my avatar.

if you want to message me Ill give you more information but its inappropriate for a just starting out thread, but it has been discussed before if you want to search for it.

 

Good luck to you both. I'm sure it will be an interesting journey you are taking together.

 

Just to add my 'welcome to the Mansion' to all the others. Always nice to have a new KH join and as you've already discovered this a very friendly site and people are always willing to offer advice and help out if they can.
My Wife / KH and I have been 'playing' with chastity for a number of years. I've tried a number of different cages: they all have pluses and minuses and all take a bit of getting used to as the body adjusts - and that applies to 'overnight' as well, I've found silcone ones are the most comfortable and therefore easiest to sleep in. Just give it time . . . and if it doesn't get easier it's probably time to buy another cage !
With regard to the punishment thing: do you know how your partner feels about it, have you two discussed it ? If he wants it as much as you do, then no problem: he can act up, you punish him and everyone's happy !
If it's a real FLR then you set the rules and that can include a weekly maintenance spanking just for the fun of it, for you both.
If on the other hand you want to work on behaviour modification then that's something different. In that case a punishment has to be something he genuinely fears and detests . . . and, therefore, will do anything to avoid. Chastity is obviously hard-wired for this. If you keep a man locked long enough then he will do - or not do - anything for just the chance of a release.
Have fun.

 

Welcome!

Morning erections are part of wearing a cage. Making the best out of it and reducing as much pain as possible is the best you can do. It’s the cage. I don’t know which one he wears or if you have a preference. In our house it’s like an alarm clock, it forces me to get up, use the bathroom and I come back to bed and it is usually resolved. Will he wake up with a dull ache? Yes. Will it feel like someone was squeezing his balls all night? Yes. Is it lasting or dangerous? No, this too shall pass.

I have one cage that didn’t do this, it is fairly small and I think it is because I am pierced, and the device is attached through my piercing that doesn’t allow for any erection. Piercing is a big step though, for him at least. Anyway, as far as other cages, the ones I felt the easiest to sleep through the night were the very short steel cages. If he would like some cage advice you should send him here to ask and I’m sure we can figure it out.

As far as punishment goes and almost wanting him to mess up so you can have some fun...awhile back my wife decided that we would have a weekly maintenance session to keep everything running smooth. It wasn’t quite as rough as actual punishment, she liked to call it funishment. Whatever you call it, if you are in charge, you can do whatever you darn well please for whatever reason you want.

Good luck

 

I do think the sleeping through varies from person to person quite a lot. Id usually get about 3 hours sleep then be constantly woken every 20-30 min till dawn, didn't matter what cage I wore although some were better than others, apart from the full one. I ended up being sleep deprived and unable to think properly for all the wrong reasons. I did preserver but it really never became much better. Anyways I hope your husband gets used to it He is lucky to have a wife interested in keeping his key As you say there is nothing wrong with making him go that extra mile

 

Nighttime erections are normal part of sleeping for men! It usually happens during REM sleep. The only difference is most men don't have a cage and ring around their private parts! Getting up and urinating will usually relieve this condition.
He will get used to this! A smaller cage will help! If there is no room to grow, the body somehow adapts, but this will take time!

 

Keep in mind that taking a break from sleeping in a cage only makes it harder to get used to. It’s best to sleep in it every night or not at all. Mistress lets me unlock at night if I relock on my own in the morning before she goes to work.

 

I have to agree, sometimes you have to be seemingly cruel to be kind. Although admittedly i dont really have that issue any more (although last night was one of THOSE nights lol but it wasn't too bad). Mistress only lets me sleep without it when she is here, AND there is a reason for it, usually if there is something to be fixed with the cage or sometimes (rarely) there might be a blemish that needs some air. More rarely she will decide that Ill get an extra release in the morning, usually it goes straight back on after play, and sometimes play involves it not coming off at all.

The longest I have gone without any release is a month, Mistress likes to tease me that records are meant to be broken.

 

Hello all and thank you for your welcomes, tips and advice!

As my wife mentioned, she is relatively new to this, but her excited me for it and overall amount of research she has done over the last month makes me believe she is more educated then I am with it all

For the last month I have slept every night, except one, in a cage. The first half I had no issue's sleeping, but that is because every cage I had used a base ring that was far to large. For the last 2 weeks I have been in MCN Amicus with a base ring the right size, or closer to it anyway.

The pain from night time erections is not an issue for me as it is not excessive and nothing changes colors, but I am up 4-5 times a night with an erection. I generally sleep 5.5-7 hours (if i sleep all night) so lack of sleep is my concern. Short term I am dealing with it well but I believe long term only getting about 2-3 hours of REM sleep will likely wear on me.

I have been in contact with Mark at MCN (whose customer service is outstanding btw) about possibly reshaping my current base ring some to see if it helps with my personal anatomy. So if things do not get better I will try that and as a last resort he will make me a custom sized ring.

While i have read countless times that a shorter cage will help the issue, and my current cage is definitely longer then it should be, my wife will not allow a shorter cage atm. She does not enjoy the way they look and as my KH she gets the final say.

Ultimately I believe we will get past this little issue without a "night off" occassionally, because I do not want to start the process over every few weeks.

Thanks again everyone for the warm welcome and all the replies.

 

Congratulations! And welcome again.

 

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What a great experience you’re having with your husband! Have a great time!

 

Yep because its during REM sleep you get the erections, I just did a lot of dreaming lol...so I was constantly awake after the first 3-4 hours of deep sleep.

REM sleep deprivation is accumulative, I found it made my thinking slower and harder. I dont think once per week break would have been enough for me but everyone is different.

I guess I became greedy, these days I wake in the morning once with what can only be described as a pleasant firmon.

Good luck in your journey

 

Yes, my wife has awaken me a number of times to pleasure her to orgasm. Each time after her orgasm she pushed my head away and rolled over without a word to go to sleep.

 

I could live with that...I'd go through a lot of sleep deprivation and then some.lol Thats one mountain I would love to climb

 

Sounds like we are similar in this regard. I would have no problem losing sleep for this. Its the painful erections and the trip to the bathroom multiple times every night that get to me.

 

Welcome to the site first off. When i wore a longer cage i had the problem with waking up trying to get erect. I too have gone to smaller cages (although for me i am naturally small in size anyways) and this has prevented the ruined erections. However i still have to get up a few times during the night to pee but have gotten use to it that i fall right back to sleep.
I have both resin and metal, my Mistress prefers the metal.

 

There's nothing unusual in Mrs Chaste waking me up during the night! If she needs to use the loo then she will often "have a good feel" and generally gives me a tease. Once I'm hard and moaning she stops and gets back off to bed! She never says a word at the time and when I said to her about it first time she said "no that wasn't me, it must have been the cock fairy!" So now I just say I had a visit from "The cock fairy". "Did you? How naughty she is". Very nice and very frustrating! It may happen 2 or 3 times in a night or it might not happen for several days or weeks, I never know!

 

I know you asked for keyholder opinions, and you're getting everything but, so please accept my apology for weighing-in when you didn't ask me to, but... My wife is very much a 'budding' keyholder. She spent most of her life thinking sex is shades drawn, man on top, get it over with quick. I am slowly bringing her around to the idea that I can give her what she needs or wants, while remaining locked. She also has insomnia, and it's not uncommon for her to wake-up in the middle of the night. She's somehow comforted by holding my caged cock, and... if I can convince her to let me get her off, she often falls asleep holding me, as described. The moral of the story is that this allows us to advance down this sometimes strange road of male chastity. While I need my beauty rest (I could sleep though a thermonuclear war) I more than welcome her awakening me for whatever she may need from me. Especially any sort of closeness, or the opportunity to gratify her sexually!