I'm Getting Grumpy

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by HappilyLockedMan, Feb 17, 2020.

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  1. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    My last orgasm was two months ago. Except for being out to wash in the shower I've been locked all the time. My wife has hardly been interested in sex for herself; she let me give her an orgasm a month ago or so. When we're in bed she'll sometimes put her hand on my cage and sometimes tease me a little bit. Once in a while.

    I've told her that I would really like an intimate encounter but I haven't told her that I'm going nuts for lack of cumming.
    If she was interested in caged sex today I'd be happy. And unhappy.
    My balls are aching and my stomach is cramping for want of a cum.
    Would you believe it, I'm still conflicted about cumming.
    I'm sure if I tell her what's going on for me she'll say, "No problem. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I'll use my hands."
    So, why don't I do that?
    I think I better tell her because, like the title said, I've started to get grumpy with her, and that, as we all know, is no good.
    Arg-h-h-h-h. I do like the tension of not having cum for a long time.
     
  2. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Welcome to the conundrum of chastity

    Then if you do cum it will be another whole 2 months before you get to where you are now.

    If I get the slightest bit grumpy with Mistress she will pick it up and lets just say its not worth it. Her grumpy will be 10 X what mine is.

    I am allowed to ask for the paddle however, and even though it really hurts, for some reason it helps relieve the sexual tension, i cant say i like it but ill still ask for it if only because it makes her smile. We do have other activities in-between once sometimes twice per week, most likely her giving me her strap on or her watching me edge by my own hand, but the paddling can happen any time and morning and night sometimes. Its the in-between activities that help get through the time between her orgasms

    Of course her having an orgasm is the biggest release for me. Compared to many here however I am pretty lucky. The longest mistress has made me go so far with no orgasm is a month.
     
  3. tristenfifty
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    tristenfifty Active member

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    I agree with cogman. I believe you are at a point of learning so don’t miss it. My suggestion is to rechannel your grumpy into ways to overly please your wife. What do have to be grumpy about. If she is not interested in sex then you have failed to win her heart and create desire. Are you grumpy because she not interested, is that her fault or yours.

    My point is you know what she loves and what gets to her heart and creates desire for you. Do it with no expectations just because you want her happy. Get your head out of your sack and into her head and heart.

    hope this made sense.
     
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  4. Skiddish3
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    Skiddish3 Active member

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    My wife is similar. Her sex drive is next to nothing and she can go forever without getting horny. She has no problem locking me up and keeping me denied but I still feel like I’m pestering her to let me frustrate myself by pleasuring her only. She will forget about me no tease no nothing. I give her some really great orgasms but she just doesn’t WANT them a lot. Guess I should count my blessings in that she is my keyholder!
     
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  5. madams-sissysub
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    perfectly put!
     
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  6. tristenfifty
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    tristenfifty Active member

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    Thank you madams-sissysub. I am a slow starter but I believe I’m learning and evolved from my previous threads
     
  7. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    Thank you for your thoughtful responses.
    Last night I told my wife that I was really horny. She smilingly expressed surprise because I have previously told there that the cage suppresses my sexual needs, which it does.
    "Yes, it does," I agreed. "But not totally or forever."
    She's been dealing with some health issues which result in her being disinterested in sex, for the time being.
    Nevertheless, a little after our conversation she cornered me from behind at the kitchen island and fondled me through me pants, for a good couple of minutes. She heard me and wanted to respond to my needs.
    It was like a sip of water to a man in the desert. It helped. I appreciated it. I want more.
     
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  8. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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    Ditto.
    I get grumpy, not with positive frustration but negative; when it feels I’m making all the effort and nothing is getting returned. When my wife come to bed 40mins after me after half watching some rubbish on TV and half messaging her friends/looking on FB... then declares she’s tired and want to go to sleep. I get so grumpy as clearly our intimacy is a much lower interest/priority.
     
  9. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    My wife has been doing the same thing with the tv and crap. Work all day and have to put up with this crap. Last night she did it again so when she said she was tired, I got out of bed, put on some shorts. She asked me what I was doing. Said I was going for a run. Turned out to be a great training run ( 5 hours). At least did something useful with the time and got to see an awesome sunrise.
     
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  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    its not good to be grumpy really i think
     
  11. tristenfifty
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    tristenfifty Active member

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    Anonoman I get what you mean. I try to get attention by being selfless but I guess it’s not selfless when I’m hoping for attention. Lol
     
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  12. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    You did the right thing by coming on here and sharing your feelings. People that have to walk a mile in your shoes get it and understand. I'm glad you talked with your wife and even happier that she responded in a positive way while honoring your commitment to chastity. I completely sympathize with wanting more as I always do to. The thing is that is an itch that can never be completely scratched. Not without giving you a full orgasm and that comes with it's own price. Acceptance is the goal, but times of doubt and mounting frustration are a reality. Good luck and keep up the communication with your wife.
     
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  13. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    Man, ive experience a lot of what you guys above are talking about. My grumpiness is from not receive the more from my wife which is her participation in our sex life, any participation.

    Normally she would give an HJ when she sensed me trying to sex her up. However, the last 2 times she has left the key out for me to take care of myself. For Valetines, she was away the entire weekend which lead to a 5 day masturbation marathon. Strangely, I didn't cum because, well, it would not have been an intimate time with her.

    Good luck man, I hope that you can sex yours up.
     
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  14. jvabox
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    jvabox jvabox

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    Wow it's good to know you aren't alone my wife has some of the same responses but now she knows just enough to hit me with the right responses to stop me in my tracks, she really seems to enjoy the FLR part but not the Chastity part and I am not sure why, she dosent communicate that stuff well. I am trying really hard not to push and she did have me in lockup to Valentine's for a couple of weeks, I almost thought she was going to keep me there after I pleased her so we'll ... I just have to keep telling myself to be patient, she actually read something I suggested.... I have started thanking her when she tells me she thinks i am pushing
     
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  15. Kat9s toy
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    Kat9s toy Long term member

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    Hmm. Grumpy. I wonder if i will get there?

    Lately I get despondent a bit. Mistress has said I will be locked most of this year. No specifics. That's it. She hasn't allowed an orgasm for years, and I've been mostly okay with that. I have been allowed ruined releases, with a pain component, and being somewhat of a masochist, that has met my needs okay. Now, besides being locked, I've been told that I won't have another ruin for a very long while. We don't live in the same area, so I don't have the option of serving her directly in other ways. Yes, sometimes a little down, not even being able to get hard.

    At the same time, I am thrilled that she has this control and is exercising it over me. It is kinda confusing, no?

    ...and, I wonder if i will get grumpy? Could be. Guess I'll find out. LOL
     
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  16. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Long term member

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    My Wife(KH) is ten years older then I am. I'm 60 this year. Her sex drive is very low. She can go a week or two without an orgasm. She might give me the odd little tease once in awhile, but most of the time, not much. I have asked her if she thinks about me being caged. She has told me not much to never. Now, when she does remember to tease me, it's great and the attention is wonderful. I to get grumpy when she does this to me, but I think it's just part of her teasing me, My last couple of orgasms, she has made me masturbate for her, then back into my cage. This is my "sex life" now and I have grown to like it and never do I complain about it.
     
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  17. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    I'm about to start the 6th month of chastity/denial. and I can tell you, it's been lots of ups and downs, and some grumpy. It's a difficult thing to cope with for sure. Both women in my life have lower drives, and like that my arousal is reduced, but there's a difference between chaste reduced, and unlocked reduced. Without stimulation, I can't get as overwhelmingly horny as I did when I could edge or masturbate, but there is still a fair bit of frustration. Weirdly, I don't actually want to have sex or masturbate, but I do at times want relief. I'm more wired to want to give pleasure now, but as many of us in chastity find, it's no good when nobody is interested in intimacy, and you're just locked up with no end in sight. I hope you find a way to engage your partner more, and get a bit of balance in this.
     
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  18. Fireman Sam
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    Our game is different. I am not in chastity to be ignored. I am in chastity to give her the power to decide when she needs what. However, with power comes responsiblity. Our deal is that she at least once a day teases me in order to make me feel recognized, in order to let me know that she is 100% aware of my situation. That helps a lot. I can be horny like hell and when she takes my balls in her hands and says "too bad for you, these balls must ache" I get even hornier. Feeling frustrated: Yes, but in a positive way. Feeling shut down and ignored: I would not be able to handle this.
     
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  19. John Morgan
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    John Morgan Member

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    I think you bang on with this Sam. Understanding on both sides makes for good respect for eachother. Unfortunately for me I did not make any kind of deal with Julie. When we talked all those years ago it was all or nothing. It's very hard at first, going against all the manly feelings. But just to see the smiles and laughter on her face make it all worthwhile. Like any relationship it needs to grow and mature into what it will eventually become.
    We would argue, I would get down in the dumps of course. And Julie? Well she would just grab my balls and smile... and say "did you know just what you were getting into when I took control of your sexual pleasure"? Or in my case, the lack of it.
    Mixed feelings or what, feeling bad and frustrated, but joyful and elated at my wife's happiness.
    6 years on and as strong as ever. Julie now has a bull who satisfies her sexually. I found that very hard at first, and so did she. But she assured me it is only for sex and she loves me more and more each day.

    Happily locked man, 2 months since you last cum. Wow I wish....lol In 6 years of our FLR I have never had a full blown orgasm, just ruined, which Julie finds so amusing. And now if I do cum she makes me eat it, which I honestly deplore. Torn between the feeling of maybe this is it, but it never is and eating it. Now that is hell, believe me.
    Im sure if you are both devoted to the FLR lifestyle it will sort itself out, the cravings will subside, believe me they will. And you will do anything to make your mistress happy.
     
  20. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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    I put the following (amongst much more - all in another thread) in a letter to my wife:

    “My only request is that I/we do under take some activities, in an ideal world for me, perhaps a couple of times per week which could be a ‘date night’, sex (in whatever form for ether of us), teasing, treats/consequences, stricter chastity... perhaps give me activities but which only require minimum effort from you if you’re tired. This is always your choice and I want this to be easy and enjoyable for you.”

    Unfortunately we still often go for a week/10 days before we do anything.

    Chastity can be a hard-sell especially if the KH isn’t really ‘into it’ and has a very low sex drive. It almost becomes a question of saying “I’ll make a big effort for you to be a good husband/partner (which I should be doing anyway) and you can have the pleasure (?!) in denying me any sexual gratification... in exchange I’ll also pleasure you sexually in anyway you want (which, OK, I know your not really into...) but I also want you to appreciate the sacrifice/effort I’m making, acknowledge this daily and also undertake more activities than you’d other wise want to” Hummm :confused:
     
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  21. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    You have a right to be grumpy. Not because you haven't cum in months but because your wife is failing in her role as a wife. It is not unreasonable for you to expect your wife, your Keyholder your partner whatever the case maybe to give some intimate attention. It is unfortunate that so many women have lost their interest in sex. I don't know why this is or have no advice as to how to rekindle what may be lost. I do know that if this is the case you have a right to ask for more. It is easy to lose our way and often life happens and life certainly gets in the way. Talk with your wife, let her know what you need. If she loves you she will care and hopefully change can happen. That being said don't tell her you need to cum as I think that is just a symptom of the bigger issue. Best wishes
     
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  22. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    My wife's libido is definitely lower than it used to be (mine is too, but a lot higher than hers). Adding to that she is dealing with a variety of health problems.

    However, yesterday morning she brightly said to me, "Honey, take a pill." Take a pill I did. (Even after 2+ months of no orgasm my plumbing is such that a pill is a good idea)

    Even if she had only wanted me to give her an orgasm (or two) I would have been very happy.
    If she had me uncaged and let me give her orgasms without me cumming that would have been difficult for me but ok.
    But, after I gave her an orgasm with my hands she welcomed me into her and said, "Don't hold back, cum as soon as you want."
    I did and it felt really good. As I type this I wonder if I would have preferred to not cum and to still be frantically horny.
    Strange thing, my mind.
     
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  23. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Yes the mind is a strange place. Cumming is not the issue here. Congratulations on achieving some attention and intimacy we all need.
     
  24. Giveitup
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    Giveitup Long term member

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    Bingo! Right there with you!
     
  25. Giveitup
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    Giveitup Long term member

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    THIS!! Amen, Brother!
     
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