Bitches

I get the sense that you have your feelings hurt easily. If you take everything that is said to you online personally, you are going to be in a lot of pain. If a woman on fetlife calls you a “bitch” then all she is doing is telling you what you are to her. You don’t have to keep engaging with her. You should look inward and figure out why a woman calling you a bitch gets to you the way that it does.

 

I'm sorry I want the bare minimum of respect while interacting with another human being. I was taught to respect everyone and so, yes, it irritates me when someone decides to just throw respect out the window.

 

In my experience, and just so you know what my experience is, I've been to a TON of play parties, many fetish events and I’m fortunate to know several dominant women, including professionals. I’m not trying to brag, I just want you to know where my comment comes from. In my experience, any Domme of reputation treats subs they don’t own with respect and if they want to own them or just want some pickup play, there is always negotiation, as two equal yet different players and the point of the negotiation is consent, always consent of both parties. At larger events there are even classes on negotiating for those who don’t know how. (check out Midori's class on speed negotiation, it is fantastic!)

Only once has a woman been inappropriate with me. I was alone in the kitchen at a play party and she stormed in and barked, "Get me a drink!" I know that doesn’t sound like much, but given the context it was waaaaaay out of line. I walked away like she wasn’t there. She left the party shortly after and that’s a good thing because when I told my ladies about it, they each wanted a handful of her eyeballs. She must of kept up the bad behavior because I heard she got banned from several events I go to.

bodman54, the respect and consent you want is there. It is the foundation and forerunner of every scene and every D/s relationship I've ever been in. Anyone male or female who doesn’t abide by that are often referred to as having "Top's disease" and are asked to leave

 

Everyone draws the line somewhere, and where that line is is completely up to both individuals. Name calling pretty much falls into the 'verbal humiliation' bucket. If the Dominant individual doesn't feel comfortable using certain words, or calling people names, then they shouldn't be obliged to. Similarly, if the submissive individual doesn't want to be called names then they have the right not to be.

In my own experience, any Domme/Dom that I've had any sort of serious engagement with has asked whether or not I'm comfortable being called certain things or not. A lot have also what I like to be called. It's ultimately no different to any other limit and should be respected.

In contrast, I also get a lot of messages on various platforms, and if I get a message from someone I've not interacted with and message starts with 'hey bitch/slut (etc)', then they typically just get blocked or ignored.

 

To a point, yes that's true. But at the same time, you're not always going to guess or assume right. If you're in the middle of a session and the Domme/Dom starts calling the sub names because they think they like it but they don't, then that's a bit of a mood-killer too!

In the case of Professional Dominatrix, it's often been a question during pre-session discussions and limit setting/understanding.

My point is, sort all that out at the beginning of the 'relationship', then there shouldn't be any issues.

 

Thank you. That's what I've been trying to say. No kink relationship should start without establishing something like this. There are some extreme cases where the sub will refer to themselves in the third person because they're "worthless" but for the most part you probably won't be able to tell. Is it really worth throwing away a potentially great relationship because you have this desire to demean every sub you come across?

 

I agree with you, if you ask you break the spell. A bit of power will have leaked out. But not all men are bitches. I don’t respond or respect it. I do respect the woman who knows her power and just instructs a man matter of fact without the names

 

Like judging men by the size of their penis and saying they should pay that person a tax (hello findom verbiage) if they didn't hit the genetic lottery?

https://fetlife.com/users/4042091/pictures/76524700

 

The question that I would like to know here is, what are your specific fetish/fetishes that you engage in with a dominant woman or are asking them to engage you in? It seems odd that you would demand a gentle tone from someone so that you can negotiate them putting you in a diaper and then urinating on your head. Your fetish is completely appropriate but if a woman asserts herself through a few words when you meet then she is a monster?

 

I agree, kind of loses its impact if you have to ask permission first. I think the reaction you get will be sufficient feedback. Personally I quite like being called "bitch". Its all about context. If someone is truely trying to insult or demean you, it will be obvious.

 

I guess I'm a "wannabe" good boy.

 

As far as starting a conversation...yeah maybe chit chat a bit and find out a little about me before diving right in. No different for subs...I wouldn’t start right in on calling her mistress or by sending a picture of me in various subbie attire...tone it down a notch! “What’s wrong with a kiss boy!” Let’s not dive right into fingering until we oh I don’t know...introduced ourselves and asked something about the other?

I have a Reddit account, and some of the threads I post to are fairly submissive or feminine based. Some feel the need to message me with “cuck” “clit dick” etc. Ummm hello and good morning to you too! If someone called me bitch, I’d be like “really? You don’t even know me, so your attempts at either pissing me off or getting me horny are laughable.”

 

Personally, I don't like the words worm or pig, but "bitch" plunges me into a context of deep submission. It introduces me to a feeling of inferiority towards the Woman who pronounces it.

 

son of a bitch.......I'm gonna be a good boy and not get involved in this mess

 

Thank you Carrie

 

Ah, its more like dumb luck for a worm like me

 

You bring up a good point and maybe I am in the wrong place. To me the D/s is more of an Owner / pet or livestock relationship. Would the owner of Secretariat pour pee on his head? I would not , will not engage with a mistress that would be cruel to her pet. Many animal tamers met harm my doing so, Zigfried and Roy one of the most known.

So what I am trying to say is, if you like getting put in a diaper and having pee poured on you as a sign you Mistress or KH loves you then great.

I am looking for a Mistress or KH that wants to make me a better person. Who wants to enjoy the love I have to share with them mentally and physically. I know I am a beast that needs to be bridled , saddled and then taken care of. A through-bread takes care and attention and in return the owner receives a compliant and loving beast. Bitch slap this true beast and you will get the horns. More compliance with manipulation then with abuse, at least for this sub.

 

Mistress well put. To each his own!!! Do not Judge least you be judged

 

Sorry for got to add quote!

 

just as it should be well said miss!