My therapist told me to “have a wank”

Slave_Kris: First off thank you for posting this, I have been having similar feelings as of late. While I have only been locked up two weeks, this being week three (yeah, what a stretch right?) I have noticed that I have been a bit more emotional than normal. I personally haven't figured out if it is due to a different set of circumstances than previous times locked up, or just how life in general has been going.

It was brought up Saturday that I might be allowed to orgasm, my first thought was that: no, I don't want to cum. I personally have just chalked things up to learning my new place and the understanding of what chastity means to both Mistress and myself.

In short, I have been a bit more emotional and a bit mote irritable this time around.

 

My anxiety is almost completely gone since i have done some counseling and have sumitted to Mistress and wearing the CD. So the opposite is also possible

I do get a ruined release on average every 4 days or so. Orgasm once every 2 weeks or so.
No problems with sleeping at all.
Though i do notice that after finally getting that orgasm every 2 weeks i get very relaxed and sleepy. So she might be right with her advice.

I assume you have looked at other causes, like drinking alcohol or too much caffiene later in the evening etc? Tried different matrasses etc?

I get real cranky when i have bad sleeps so i do everything i can to avoid it! So i know how crappy that is.

 

I find that being chaste settles me down quit a bit and puts my mind in a more relaxed layed back state.
I also find that when Mistress and I have a good long session with me massaging her and fucking her with the dildo which gets me really hard and dripping, this puts me on a high which enables me to go right to sleep when I am told to. :blink:

 

Yes I get irritable sometimes, but I think I only blame it on not being able to cum and that it is really something else. A convenient excuse. So far I have chalked up the wide range of emotions from edgy and irritable to calm and happy to the MCD doing what it is supposed to do. It has only been 15 days so far with 30 more to go I hope to go through a wider range of mood swings and be rewarded or punished accordingly. On the other end, I hope to look back and say I did it.

 

In my very honest opinion, the entire point of chastity and orgasm control so that we shouldn’t feel entirely satiated (sexually). This is what makes us better subs and allows us to prioritize the needs of the women in our lives.

 

Maybe tell your therapist about your lifestyle?? Isnt that what they are for?

 

Could you kindly change the text colour as it’s very hard to read on the site dark colour scheme?
I’m not at all grumpy if my wife is showing me attention and is taking a bit of a lead with things. If we’re in a platonic relationship stage or if I feel I’m making all the effort then I get grumpy quite quickly

 

Agree on both points. I can’t read the text.

If my wife checks out and goes into the roommates with a kiss at night mode I get grumpy after a bit. She isn’t very sexual so it takes work for her to get in the mood for anything. It’s nice to have it acknowledged at least.

The reason I feel that I get grumpy is mostly due to it being a pain to wear the device and be as active as I am. I start to hate wearing it if I feel like I’m doing it for myself. But that’s really the only time.

 

As stated my grumpiness or irritability is more linked with apathy and neglect. Self pleasure is an activity I used to do to alleviate both of those. I guess no different than children sucking their thumb.

If however, I am in a healthy relationship, we talk, she interacts with me in a sexual way, and keeps the “motor revving”, I don’t get irritable at all.

I can only speak from my experience, but I can’t wear the cage and refrain from self pleasure if it’s for me. I can do it for someone, but losing that security blanket along with lack of someone’s interest is very difficult. Probably the most difficult part of this lifestyle is when life gets in the way and you feel like your doing this all alone.

As far as sleep goes, orgasms have the complete opposite effect on me. Ever since I was young, my counting sheep was me building elaborate sex fantasies in my head until I fell asleep. After an orgasm and it’s time for sleep, I don’t know what to think of and I just lay there thinking of everything.

 

totally agree with this!

 

When ever I have a "wank" I feel better.

 

Masturbation used to be a major stress reliever for me, it took my mind off of whatever and puts me in a happy non caring place. It took a while in the beginning for me to become used to not being able to touch myself for that relief especially if I’ve had a particularly rough day. Intimacy and physical contact are two things that counter my anxiety and irritability. However it’s up to my mistress and at her will to give me that attention.
I’ve had to focus my stress elsewhere and I if I just sit, I’ll dwell on things so I have to keep my mind occupied and keep physically active. This usually turns into me becoming ocd about chores and cleaning so if you were to ask my mistress she’s just fine the way it works out.
Sometimes if I can’t shake the stress and I’ve been locked for a while (at least a while for me) I’m more prone to use a dildo to try and alleviate my angst even though I shouldn’t be doing that without her permission. That has happened less and less as time goes on, we’re approaching year 5 of 24/7 chastity lifestyle and I have found other ways to cope. I hate the irritability though, it’s so counter productive, you’ll find other avenues for stress relief in time, might not be a bad idea to take Xanax if your therapist will prescribe it for you to help if you feel you’re really struggling.

 

I get extremely irritable and anxious during extended chastity. Even eventually losing motivation and energy.

Listen to your therapist or reevaluate why you even have one.

 

For me it is opposite!. Before my chasted life, irritation, grumpiness, moodswings, came up rappidly after each orgasm. After a release, quickly I started to search for "a next moment of relief", to get my "better feeling" back. Result: Masturbation and periods in between had to become shorter and shorter and I never reached the level of well feeling I was searching for.

Since my Love keeps me chasted, a tremendous change occured. My releases are now incidental. During my periods of abstinence, I live continuously on "a cloud" and feel much more relexed and happy (resulting in good sleep by the way). The only slight irritation that occurs in between my releases, is when both of us are taking not enough time for eachother due to pressure in our both professional lives. In that case, my irritation is a "door ringer" for both of us.

Therfore, my opinion is that just chastity is causing the calming effects, not the orgasm. An important condition is however that during a chasted period, your system should remain triggered (by e.g. tease & denial). This is causing that your hormonal system stays at a continuously high level, causing the well feeling of mood. It also results in the effect that after such "incidental orgasm", you should not climb the mountain each time anymore from the beginning. In a few steps you might be back on the top, causing a minimum of mood swing in between.

Once you stay "locked and forgot" or not become triggered sufficently in between, I can imagine that irritation and a depressive mood will come up causing subsequently negative psychological effects as well.

These are my thoughts. However, please consider the advise of your professional therapist, as she might be aware of much more details then your fellows here.

 

I think it makes me less irritable and anxious, but only if I know I am locked for more than a few weeks.

 

After a long chaste time , it feels awesome and relaxing as if you were fullfilled, but to be honest, after 2-3 days, I feel naked without the cage on and sometimes guilty that it came off.

 

I only get grumpy when I feel ignored. Maybe you should hit the gym every day or do some other exercise to wear yourself out.

 

Same here that's the worst.

I tend to feel it with really tight shoulder muscles.

ironically and I dont know why it works but a hard paddling helps with stress relief, Although Mistress recently has gotten to like this a little too much perhaps (evening and mornings sometimes)

 

Well, getting paddled is the opposite of being ignored! Lol