Why Are There No Mistresses - An Answer

I completely agree. I can't really see what is in it for the Female if the "relationship" is only based on chastity/keyholding.

 

If you are looking for a life partner that's willing to be your KH you are looking for the wrong thing.
and you will probably not find one.

If you are looking for a female you can befriend and establish a relationship with that might develop into something permanent (as is done in the conventional, vanilla, or normal world) then you may have a chance of gradually introducing the concept of male chastity and the potential benefits of that to your partner.

 

This is exactly how I feel about the whole thing. The subs that approaches me online wants me to bend over backwards and cater to his needs while my needs are unmet. Thank you for posting this!

 

On behalf of those of us who find such behavior offensive. Please know some of us aren’t like these selfish jerks.

Some us understand that the one(s) we serve come first.

Of course I also find the online service and BDSM stuff boring and silly. As a submissive (mostly) straighish Guy it’s amazing how many of these emails I get too. I don’t know what it is. Not sure if it’s just the thrill or desperation, or some combo. Frankly I don’t care as I don’t play online.

Anyway, I hope you find someone who meets your needs and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

Well, having just read through the entire thread, I can see why our Superior members find most males online tedious and without values. I'm 60 now and i can say that a true devotee knows that devotion without personal expectation is the path of the true submissive. If it's not about Her, you need to review your intent.

 

Men can be somewhat selfish but I think many are turned on to chastity via porn. I'm afraid this does little to improve their behaviour towards women, it's all far too much fantasy. I'm glad that you've found someone to love and be loved by, and wish you every success and happiness.

 

I am glad this thread was revived.
I missed it before. I have to say I am a little confused why it's too much work for at least some females to have a man in chastity. Let's look at a hypothetical situation
Let's say I am good company and I had a really high salary. Let's say I am not ugly.
Lets say I was begging to provide a comfortable life, to worship and serve them, and be my goddess. I would beg to give them footrubs, massages, oral pleasure and/or PIV on demand. What if I would give them gifts, travel, dining out, whatever I could afford. I would have the house cleaned and everything else taken care. I would be monogamous, and happy if they weren't. Let's say I encouraged them to take other lovers.
In exchange for that I would ask for someone to come home to, her foot to kiss, and to prostrate myself. I would only be asking to lose myself and my worries in worship of her.
Why would that be too much trouble?
We could add, maybe if I were too alpha in the world and I needed and craved corporal punishment. Why would that be too much trouble?
I don't know, maybe I can be banned for this post. But, I guess I am a little bitter this morning, and I am acting like a spoiled child. Still, I really dont get it.
Can anyone explain this to me?

 

Thanks-
No, actually I am looking for love and attraction. Thats how it works for me. I need to love my kh, like crazy. And I will, when it's the right person.
I am just frustrated because my last relationship ended, and I just can't find another. And then I found this thread about it being too much trouble and I just went all "Aaauugh!" about it.
Sorry.

 

Nope. Too many responsibilities and I work too hard.
Listen, I apologize I didnt mean to make the thread about me.
I appreciate what you do here as always.
I would be happy for you to delete my comments above unless you think they have been a positive contribution.
Personally I dont think they have been.

 

Women may largely be turned off because of the groveling fetish obsession but the idea of a FLR could catch on pretty quickly. Yes, most women do not want to keep a naked man in a cage on the kitchen floor but how many would be open/love the idea of a man being deterrent to her for relationship direction/lifestyle choices ect ect. Maybe we should take back what the meaning of “Mistress” truly means.

 

I would love an FLR in terms of giving my service, submission, worship, providing for needs, being in chastity, having any say over her sex life- anything really. In my case I just have to have financial limits.
It's not a business transaction for me, honestly. It's the way I want to be in love. I guess I am saying that if I am giving all that I can and it's still too much trouble, then I am left with vanilla and that's not gonna happen.

 

I would love an FLR. I am just saying that if I am giving all of me, every act of worship and everything material that I can, and it's still too much trouble, then that's very discouraging.

 

The phrase, "When you're in a hole, stop digging!" comes to mind.

 

You are assuming that a dominant woman needs you for your money. A professional dominatrix or findom needs you for your money, a dominant woman will not need you for money or just money. You will have to bring a better version of yourself to make her life better.

 

Okay. Point taken. I am just trying to give everything I can. That's how I want to approach things. Maybe there is someone out there.

 

Well said @jemima

 

Mistress is the feminine term of master. Any relationship is a two way street, but finding a partner whose needs and desires align with your own isn't easy. A big problem I've found is that many peeps aren't always sure what they want. It would be boring if it was easy...

 

We are all ever changing and are like snakes in a way. How many times have we all shed our skin throughout our lives and changed. So we never really know what we want.

 

Hey there!

I see a lot of posts that sorta run along the line of: "Lock me up and I'll worship you forever... And do the dishes too!"

So.... Why does one have to be locked up to 'change' into a person that will do this sort of thing....?

Shouldn't this be something that is done unconditionally....? Regardless of having a device locked around your genitals?

And then what happens when the 'required' level of control lapses....? What happens then...? Does the opposite attitude come to the fore...?

If it's conditional, it runs the risk of breaking down when said conditions are not met...... A big risk in any relationship possibly....

I wouldn't think that's a very attractive proposition for any prospective partner......

It this is wrong thread for comments such as this I apologise in advance....

Kindest regards

J.

 

What you are missing is that there are many many men who say exactly what you say, and that when push comes to shove it turns out that they really have a porn-driven laundry list of requirements for their female partner.

 

@locked_top said it perfectly. IRL stuff is so very different from the delusions (I can't even call it fantasies) that self-proclaimed subs have.

I'd give more than one like to that message.

 

Have many people asked that question? ‘Why are there no Mistresses?’

 

Bingo