Need a little help

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by MistressAngela, Dec 31, 2009.

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  1. John
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    John Member

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    I have received hundreds of letters from women who have purchased a
    chastity device, praising the design and the effect it has on their
    mate. In those letters, the one thing they all regret - they wish
    they would have bought one years ago. They also write to tell me how
    they are using their chastity device in their relationship on their
    male, and what specific techniques work best for them. The following
    is intended to be only a starting map of those ideas. I require my men
    to wear a chastity device. I love the result this devious little
    device has on them and I love what it does for me, or should I say
    what he did for me when he wore it and believe me, if you follow these
    suggestions, you will absolutely love this little thing also.

    The purpose of a chastity device is to provide a cosmetically
    appealing, safe, and totally secure device which will control your
    partner’s orgasms. When you require your partner to wear a chastity
    device, he will not be able to see his penis, he will not be able to
    touch his penis (not where it will do him any good anyway), and it
    will absolutely deny him the control to masturbate to orgasm by
    himself

    The cornerstone of understanding why this device is so effective is
    two fold, and cannot be over stated: 1) A chastity device allows you
    to totally control your partner’s masturbation. Your ability to now
    control your partner’s masturbation and to provide the only relief for
    him, is a powerful tool. Few women ever come to realize how important
    masturbation-denial really is. Most women believe they have control
    over sex in the relationship and they incorrectly feel this gives them
    some sort of control. Controlling sex is not the same as controlling
    your partner’s orgasms. Just because you are controlling sex, don’t be
    misled into thinking that your partner is not orgasming without you.
    Most women just don’t realize how much most males masturbate. And,
    they certainly would never admit to themselves that their man is doing
    it. After all, you’re not doing it, and you wait for sex with him.
    Shouldn’t he be waiting faithfully for you? Well, wake up honey and
    smell the COFFEE. Recent studies show that it is not uncommon for
    males between the ages of 25 and 40 to masturbate at least 3 times per
    day. This shocks a lot of women. I hope it doesn’t shock you,
    because not only is this normal, it is so very important that you know
    how much your man masturbates, and what a huge part it plays in his
    life. Because , you are about to deny him a tremendously significant
    act, and not only that, you are going to control when, and how much he
    can orgasm.

    OK, so now you know the naked truth about what a big deal masturbation
    is to men. Next, lets talk about what men are doing when they are
    masturbating. Remember, that the studies show that men fantasize when
    they masturbate. They fantasize about everything, everyone and
    anything, when they enter their favorite personal fantasy sex world.
    I like to call this their personal masturbatory fantasy world. Again,
    don’t bother asking him about what he fantasizes about, he’ll only
    tell you its always just about you sweety. I’ll tell you this: His
    fantasies may very well have you in them, but you probably would be
    surprised at all the dirty little things you do for him and maybe who
    joins you. It isn’t important to know what he fantasizes about, what
    is important, is to know that this is what all males do when they
    masturbate, and yes, your sweet guy also does some of this himself.

    Finally, we are going to get to the good stuff that applies to you.
    So, we now know that your partner masturbates without you, and enters
    what ever perverted personal masturbatory fantasy world he wants. You
    are now going to control his trips to that world. From day one, your
    male will not be going there anymore. He now has to take you with him
    when he goes. Don’t you just love it! No more escape trips with out
    your say so. Oh sure, he will still fantasize about what ever he
    wants during the day, but he won’t be masturbating while he is doing
    it. And believe me, fantasy without masturbation doesn’t even come
    close to fantasy with masturbation. You are denying him an intense
    stimulation. By denying him this stimulation you will create a
    stimulation void in his mind. Something will have to rush in, to fill
    that void. A new fantasy will start to fill that spot, and that
    fantasy is inescapable for him. It will push it’s way into his mind
    no matter what he tries to think about. It will start to obsess him
    and control his thoughts in the way his old fantasies did. It can not
    be denied. It always happens this way. And the best part, it will
    happen to your male too. And all you had to do so far is to place him
    in chastity under your control.

    What is that new fantasy? GODDESS YOU! Automatically, he will be
    having deep fantasies about you. About the Goddess he always knew you
    were. About the control that you have over him. You are now going to
    be viewed in a different way. You want to talk about body worship.
    Your male is going to see your body as the sexiest thing in the
    universe. Why? Because you aren’t competing with his false
    fantasies anymore. He is now looking at living flesh. Men don’t
    realize that if they would just stop fantasizing all the time, and
    allow themselves to be intimate with their partner (like we already
    do) it is way more intense. But, your male is no different. He will
    just think that you are now incredibly erotic, powerful and sexy. He
    will attribute this to a thing. His chastity device. The stupid
    idiot won’t attribute it to intimacy. He will only figure out, that
    this new game you are playing with him, really turns him on. He will
    enjoy his new fantasies much more than the old one dimensional ones.
    He won’t even know that you just replaced his old ones with you!
    Don’t let him in on this intimacy-thing he is feeling. You can’t get
    him to understand it anyway, and if you could, it would never last -
    it never does without chastity control. Make him think it is all
    about the fact that you started taking control over his masturbation.
    Tell him how much you enjoy this new control and that things will
    never be the way they were - so just forget about ever touching
    yourself without your permission. Tell him often that you control his
    masturbation. Use that word a lot. It makes most men uncomfortable.
    Tell him that you will decide from now on, when he will get to cum, if
    ever. Of course, you will let him cum, just don’t tell him this.
    Although in the beginning it really doesn’t hurt to make him wait for
    three months. My experience shows that it take about three months to
    get him totally out of his personal masturbation fantasy world. Tell
    him how much more you like him this way, and that you find that the
    more you let him cum the worse he acts toward you.

    After a few days of chastity the poor boy will start going out of his
    mind and the gentle caressing and kissing and cooing will start -
    trust me again on this, it will start. Tell your partner you love the
    way he has been paying attention to your body, and you love the
    caressing and massaging he has been doing to you lately. Act
    self-confidant, arrogant, and in control. Remember, men love what
    they can’t have and that goes for women too. Talk to him often about
    the power you have. Act like a Goddess. Let the body worshipping
    begin!

    Make your girlfriends jealous by telling them how at the end of a long
    day your guy massages your feet or gives you long body massages and
    doesn’t even have to be asked. Or, train your partner to massage your
    feet on-the-spot any time you say, “Wearing high heels makes my feet
    ache.” Then, say it when one of your girlfriends are over and make
    them jealous, and embarrass and humiliate him.

    There is a great test to see if the chastity device has brought your
    male’s mind to the point of true Goddess Body Worshipping. In other
    words: Is your partner’s mind consumed and fixated on your physical
    image yet? Try this: Pick an erotic part of your body and tell your
    partner you want him to do something as a gesture of his gratitude,
    for this wonderful thing you are doing for him (not letting him
    masturbate! Tell him you want him to pay tribute to this part of
    yourself every time he sees you. Here are some ideas women have sent
    me. One women makes her husband kiss her bare pussy every time he
    gets into bed with her in the evening. She just opens her legs out of
    habit every time he gets in bed. When she wants him to stop she says,
    “ thank you.” If, she decides she wants more, she simply says
    “continue.” She has a beautiful orgasms any night she wants as she
    falls asleep. And poor hubby goes to bed very turned on and horny.
    Poor boy. One woman makes her boy friend get on his knees, and kiss
    the toe of her right high heel shoe or boot when she comes home from
    work in the evening. If she holds her left boot out for worship, he
    knows she plans on doing something that evening he is not going to
    like very much! Now think one up on your own. Don’t add such things
    as making him massage you and bath you. While these ideas are good,
    and I expect you to train him to do these things these are some of the
    other things that are in it for you), remember, in this section we are
    addressing his need to have intense fantasies right now. Don’t be
    afraid to have him do all of these, and add more as you think of them.
    Above all, even if this behavior amuses you and makes you laugh,
    don’t let on. Tell him how much it turns you on, and that it makes
    you wet when you think about him doing these things. He should feel
    that this really pleases you. If he forgets, simply mention that you
    will be punishing him or extending the amount of time until orgasm for
    the oversight.

    This is where I lose a lot of non-dominant women. Naturally-dominant
    and controlling women will absolutely love the previous body
    worshipping ideas. The power exchange turns them on. For those of
    you that think this is cruel, humiliating, or embarrassing - it is.
    That’s the point. You just took away all of your man’s intense
    fantasies, you now are starting to reprogram his fantasies with
    intense ones that revolve around you. What better intense fantasy is
    there, than having him programmed to worship one of your erotic body
    parts. Sure, it’s a little kinky, but it’s effect is very intense.
    And, no matter what he tries to tell you about this, insist he does it
    without being asked, or he won’t be cuming until he does! Now, what
    fantasy do you think he will be thinking about at work tomorrow, and
    every day for the rest of his life. He is now starting to develop what
    I like to call his Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasy about you. Score
    round one for our side.

    Goddess Body Worshipping Fantasies about you are going to be very
    intense for your male. I believe it is enhanced by the endorphins
    released by your body. Tap into this fact. Use your pussy scent on
    him. Don’t be embarrassed or shy about this. I almost always make it
    point to straddle my male's face once during sex. The sent drives him
    wild. I also, love to have him kiss my pussy. Some times I make him
    get down on his knees just as he is going out the door for work and I
    rub his nose in my pussy. Don’t think he doesn’t think of me and my
    Goddess Body all day long. We are talking intense Goddess Body
    Worshipping Fantasies all day long! A great masturbation technique
    that focuses my male's fantasies on my body, happens when I have my
    him tied spread eagle on the bed, enduring one of my long,
    frustrating, masturbation sessions. He always has his penis gag in his
    mouth, as I have long ago got tired of his directions, moaning,
    pleading, and whining. If I am going to indulge his masturbation
    fantasies, I alone control every aspect, and he always wears the gag.
    The gag I use, doesn’t have a ball on it. I don’t like the look of
    those, and I have found that my male can talk and breath around this
    type. I use a thick penis style gag, that is held in by a 2 1/2 inch
    strap that covers the gag when it is in his mouth. It looks a lot
    better, and I don’t have to listen to him! OK. so where was I - oh
    yeah, he is tied spread eagle with a gag. Next, after a long stretch
    of expert teasing to warm him up, I straddle his head and sit on his
    forehead facing his feet, so my pussy is directly over his nose.
    Since, this type of gag doesn’t allow him to breath through his mouth,
    he breaths my pussy scent directly through his nose until I descried
    he has only me on his mind. While I’m masturbating him within an inch
    of orgasm after near orgasm, I will spread my lips so he gets to enjoy
    all those endorphins. Sorry, no orgasm tonight. Good night. What’s
    that your trying to say? Remove the gag? I’m sorry, I can’t tell what
    your saying. You know, I wouldn’t always gag him, but he’s never
    learned the following proper submissive etiquette: It’s not polite to
    talk until your Mistress has dismounted!

    This exchange of power is intoxicating for men. Men love and worship
    power. You now have a type of ultimate power over his weak little
    mind. Men tell me this is a very strong and erotic fantasy. Further,
    by controlling your partners ability to masturbate, and keeping him
    out of his fantasy world, he will have no other choice but to join you
    in the real world of your relationship and all the intimacies that he
    normally can escapes from, when he masturbates in his fantasy world.
    It is important to understand this, and use it to turn his affections
    away from his fantasies and redirect them to center totally on you and
    your fantasies. He needs to fantasize about, and worship your body
    and the goddess he knows you are. You and I are going to reprogram
    years of behavior and slowly get your male to be turned on by you
    alone. He is going to start to actually get aroused by pleasing your
    fantasy. You will also greatly heighten his response to you. He will
    become more sensitive to your wants, your needs, your moods, and even
    subtle things like your scent. We will program him to be physically
    turned on when he touches, massages, caresses, and fondles you. Slow
    kissing and embraces will find its way into your relationship. Does
    this sound like any of the men you have ever met? Didn’t think so.
    Do you want the man in your life to become this wonderful person? All
    women do but few ever really figure it out. And here is the best
    part. A chastity device does almost all the work for you.

    So far, everything I have been telling you about has to do with
    masturbation, and your male’s fantasies. Part one is all about
    realizing the male has intense fantasies, allowing him to have them,
    but reshaping them around you and your Goddess Body. Give them to
    him, and make them kinky, dirty, and intense. If he is only
    fantasizing about you now, then you and the chastity device are doing
    their jobs. Remember, control of your male’s fantasy masturbation
    world is the key. In part 2, I will tell you about orgasm control,
    and the power it will give you to get the things you want and need in
    your relationship.

    PART 2

    A chastity device allows you to totally control when and how often you
    let your partner orgasms. Masturbation control is about
    reprogramming fantasies. Orgasm control, on the other hand, is all
    about power. Men are generally selfish bullies. Only because of
    their physical size, and their stubbornness, do they wield power over
    us. Even the best and most sensitive ones never really grow up and
    become giving, sharing partners. They only want to give you the
    things they think you want, and they are clumsy and greedy at it as
    well. They may well be good men and providers, but males aren’t very
    good at adult intimate relationships. These are the facts, and I have
    learned this over many years of personal experiences, and talking with
    hundreds of women. Like the reality of masturbation, this is the
    reality of our selfish male partners.

    Orgasm control is a simple concept, and it is easy to understand why
    it works, because all women have experienced it’s benefits. Unlike
    the secret world of male masturbation, orgasm control is
    embarrassingly obvious to women. It’s this simple: The male can be
    wonderful, caring, giving, kind, and can be honestly interested in
    your feelings and in pleasing you, until he has his orgasm. Then, the
    other side of his brain takes over, and you can just through all that
    loving caring crap right out the window! All women understand this,
    and I know you do too.

    This is the way male sexual response works. Before orgasm, the male
    body system that drives the sexual excitation phase of erection, also
    changes male brain chemistry, filling the male mind with loving tender
    feelings. After orgasm, the male body system that controls climax,
    fills the male mind with cold insensitive feelings. There is well
    accepted medical knowledge regarding this. It is all tied to the
    human response referred to as the fight or flight/feed or breed
    system. You can read more about this on your own. By the way, it will
    come as no surprise to you that the women’s sexual response system
    doesn’t quite work this way.

    See, I told you it would be easy to figure out the basis of orgasm
    control. Before orgasm - the male is sweet, tender, kind, and giving.
    After orgasm - selfish asshole. So, what you need to do is keep that
    sweetheart male of yours, in his pre-orgasm excited stage, and keep
    him out of his post-orgasm asshole stage. Got it? It’s simple,
    really.

    Control those orgasms girls. Deny your male orgasms as long as you
    can, and you will automatically see the positive benefits from this,
    in the way your male acts toward you. You will have the sweetest man
    you could ever dream of. Now, while he is so responsive to you, start
    to suggest specific things that you would like him to do for you, like
    holding and kissing you more. Tell him to think more romantically and
    to take you out to dinner more. Tell him you want him to start taking
    the initiative in ravaging you and carrying you into the bedroom. If
    you keep this up long enough, you can reprogram male behavior and make
    this part of your male’s personality. In this area, I won’t go into
    detailed examples like I did for you in the section on controlling
    his masturbation fantasies. You know what you want in this area, now
    go for it.

    The second benefit of orgasm control, is the power it gives you.
    This area is the easiest to understand, and is straight forward. You
    now can exert a great deal of your will over your partner. Simply,
    ask your male to perform what ever task you desire, and use the
    leverage of orgasm denial to persuade him. For example, ask him to
    make dinner, or clean the house. If he balks, just tell him you added
    another day or week to his orgasm day. Then, start giving him
    expected or scheduled tasks. Things you expect him to do without you
    having to ask. You can demand practical tasks, your sexual wants,
    Goddess Body Worshipping acts, and of course kinky masturbation
    fantasy concepts.

    Here are some ideas I use along with some sent to me: Set up a
    massage schedule. Fire your cleaning service and make him clean the
    house dressed as your maid once a week. Make him cook dinner once a
    week dressed as what ever turns you on. Throw out all his ugly
    underwear and make him wear only g-strings. Make him wear your
    pantyhose to work once a week. Set up a bath night, and make him your
    tub slave. Make him come up with ideas of things to do together when
    you have time off. Throw all your dirty lingerie in one hamper, and
    make it his responsibility to wash and put it away.


    This centers him on you, your body and your scent. Men also fantasize
    about women and their lingerie. Make him shave you on bath night.
    Make him shave himself, and punishing him if you ever feel rough legs.
    Make him lay out all your boots and have him clean and polish them.
    Set-up a dinner party with all your girls friends, and make him cook
    dinner for everyone wearing what ever you dare. Then make him serve
    everyone and wait on everyone. Be sure to make him do the dishes
    while your girlfriends are still there. Detail what you expect of him
    beforehand so there won’t be a need to reprimand him in front of the
    girls - and make him wear a butt-plug for good measure. The ideas of
    things you can get him to do, go on and on. Where possible try to
    include one of your fantasy masturbation ideas.

    Next, I want to warn you about one of the downsides to chastity. And,
    it is one of my biggest pet peeves. It has to do with a type of
    behavior that men exhibit when you deny their orgasm for any period of
    time. I know your male is going to pull this on you too. What I’m
    referring to, is when men start to ask or suggest things that I should
    do to them. Then they start to whine about it. Remember, you are in
    control of everything all of the time. There are going to be times
    when you only want your male to act as a kind gentle loving person.
    Other than the jobs you have predetermined that he has to routinely
    perform, you don’t want to hear him trying to manipulate you into
    doing something that you are not in the mood for. Further, it might
    be that you may be in the mood to indulge his personal masturbation
    fantasies with a request for him to perform, or you may be planing to
    masturbate him, but you don’t want him trying to manipulate your
    plans.

    There are times when I ask for input or want to know what my male
    likes (as you know from the masturbation section - you really have no
    idea what kinky little fantasies your male dreams of.) There are also
    times when it is fine for my male to express his wants and needs.
    But, there are two times when it just totally pisses me off. The
    first, is when I’m just not in the mood to be in his personal
    masturbation fantasy world. I simply want to enjoy the loving man
    who I have coaxed out of his shell. After all, that is in large part
    what this is all about. The second, is when I am masturbating him.
    During these sessions I am in total control of his fantasy, and I am
    directing the whole scene for him. I don’t want him slipping back
    into what ever he was used to thinking about when he masturbated
    himself. As I stated before, he is never going to ever direct his own
    fantasies again. I am now his fantasy, I will be the overpowering
    image for him, and I alone control where his mind will go.

    Here is how to handle this quickly and easily. Gag him. When my male
    pulls this, I let him know that I don’t want to indulge his
    masturbation fantasies right now. If he continues just once more, I
    get up, and go get his gag. I do it myself even though it would
    easier to have him do it, because I don’t want to negotiate it or
    discuss it or hear his whining. I come back quickly, open his mouth
    and shove the thick penis into his mouth, strap it on and lock it.
    Done. I don’t have to listen to anymore and it doesn’t ruin my mood.
    In fact, I now demand Goddess Body Worship on the spot, usually foot
    worship while I watch TV, read, or work at my computer. Or, if I am
    just totally sick and tired if the hinting and suggestions, (this is
    usually when I just don’t want to have anything to do with domination)
    I take him to the bedroom and into the closet, and lock the D-ring on
    the top of the gag (which is located on the top of his head), to a
    ring I have in the floor of the closet. I just leave him there for a
    few hours or until I go to bed. Remember, never leave your mate alone
    when gagged. I leave the closet door open just enough so I can see
    him from the bed. I don’t hear a lot about domination for quite some
    time after doing this. I highly recommend doing one or both of these
    when ever you first start to hear your man verbalizing about what he
    expects you to do. You don’t have to listen to this sort of thing
    when you are not in the mood for it.

    Now you have a basic understanding of the game plan you need to follow
    if you are going to place your male in a chastity device. Remember
    the difference between masturbation control, and orgasm control.
    Don’t ever, ever, let your male masturbate. This is the only hard and
    fast rule. This is how you control his fantasies. Orgasm control is
    a different issue. How often you let your man orgasm is up to you.
    You have total control of your male. Use orgasm control to get what
    you want, to control his behavior, and especially to have fun. For
    me, I have so much fun driving my male out of his mind after only a
    few days without an orgasm. I still can’t believe men can’t stand to
    go more than a few days without masturbating. I can’t tell you how I
    love to see him frustrated. I think it has to do with the fact that I
    went for weeks without orgasms, and I always thought he was doing the
    same. Now, I know he was masturbating behind my back to relieve
    himself. Well, no more. I want him to know exactly how I was feeling
    all those years. Making him stay excited and frustrated all the time
    gets me off. Drives him nuts, and I just love it! Hey, he’s lucky.
    I have women who write to tell me that they make their men go months
    and some don’t ever let their men come, ever. That’s the best part,
    you describe what schedule works best for you and your male.

    Now a word about security. I use the chastity device that is secured
    by a piercing. It is fairly easy for me to slip on and off him. Every
    time, I let him out I secure him. All I do is use a simple pair of
    handcuffs. He gets them, and locks his hands. Then, I unlock his
    chastity device. He can sleep, shower or whatever, but he doesn’t get
    out of the handcuffs until I lock him back up. I can’t tell you how
    important this is, both for security and to your male’s psyche. Your
    male needs to know he can’t get out, and you won’t give him the chance
    to escape. This is what makes it real for him and this is what will
    terrify him to the maximum. This is how you get him to obey you right
    now without question. This is what makes it all work. Don’t let your
    male think this is a game. You let him know you are pissed about his
    masturbation and you feel as if he has been cheating on you. And,
    rather than leave him, you are going to try to see if it will put a
    stop to his cheating. You don’t have to really feel this way, just use
    this as a way of telling him how important it is to you that you
    unlock him only when his hands are tied, that way you will have a way
    of getting him back into his chastity device. Except for masturbation
    sessions, he doesn’t have to be tied to anything. If he wants the
    handcuffs off to go to work, for example, he has to let you put him
    back into his chastity device.

    I have women who write me and tell me that they go as far as
    blindfolding their men when they let them out. They feel that they
    don’t want their men thinking at all about themselves. These men not
    only haven’t touched themselves for months, some haven’t even seen
    their penis for years! I have thought about doing this. I might try it
    for a few months sometime, it sounds like fun. Maybe, I’ll use this
    idea as a punishment for some delinquency or impropriety of some sort.
     
  2. MistressAngela
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    MistressAngela Junior Member

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    Thank you for pulling that article .
     
  3. sissified1
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    sissified1 Member

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    hello all, I figure it is about time to weigh in on my Mistresses post. I have read all the advice and have found some of it dead on. Mistress Watchful has pretty much on point with her comments. I am reluctant to become fully submissive to my Mistress, which i love very much, but do not want this or any lifestyle to ruin our relationship. Currently we have a wonderful life and also have really good sex with each other when we are not playing with chastity. Mistress and I are trying to figure out exactly how this lifestyle fits us. I appreciate all advice that you all have provided for my Mistress.
     
  4. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Thank you Mistress Angela :anim_37: curtsy to you.

    MM's sweetpea
    rachel
     
  5. sissified1
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    sissified1 Member

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    Ok here is a little more from me. Mistress and i have been discussing this at length lately, well at least the last few days. She has got alot of new ideas from here and i think i have tapped into a few good ones also. The best information i have found so far is the journal by xcitex2. Your experience seems to be very similar and shed alot of light on our issues. I hope Mistress finds some good friends on here to chat with and expand her knowledge. we are not practicing chastity right now, but hope to get back to it soon.
     
  6. Keptforher
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    Keptforher Member

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    I think this game thing is the right direction with a twist

    Thanks
     
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