Duchess Duchess

Nonzense

Thank you Mistress J, my valued reader and obviously a fellow insomniac. Your comparison has made me think further...

I do not feel the release has extinguished my candle nor that my feelings are solely dependent on longer periods of chastity. Dominance and control fulfill my submissive nature and respark my feelings, chastity is simply a tool.

My concern is Duchess, and how she is thinking/feeling about her 'journey'. Whilst she may say that I am not one for expressing my feelings readily, she has no problems communicating her emotions. But, as for her motives, her viewpoint and analysis - she is your average bleeding stone. Thus the value of a journal is realised, hopefully offering insight for the reader and reflective analysis for the author.

Alas, Duchess has less time for such reflection than I and she is less keen/confident about posting. So I over-analyse the responses I do get. The release was a big response, as it is a change to the one plan/structure/foundation that we have been following. My worry is that this change may indicate a limit. Maybe my submissive has to return to the playbox/closet only to emerge for the roleplay that may punctuate an otherwise vanilla lifestyle. If so then so be it, rather roleplay than nothing, rather vanilla than no relationship.

But that would be like drinking squash when there's juice in the fridge.

Anyway, ...back to bed! :cat:

 

A little sleep, a little slumber...

Three in the bloody morning, my running nose is keeping me up. I can watch celebrities sleeping on 4 or improve my sign language whilst boning up on art history, great! Crimbo and New Year seemed to suspend all play activities, things may be getting back to normal but I've been full of cold now for what seems weeks. Feeling very unsexy. Also, I'm mightily peed off that I've not been well enough to indulge my inner child and get out and photograph the white stuff. Strange how a few microbes can put things on hold, I can't believe how much my nose is running. The return of tudefisse!

 

Hurrah! The rivers of snot have dried up!

Boo! The PA5000 has split.

...and the annual post Christmas crisis of cashflow rears its ugly head. But Hurrah! we are emerging from recession they say, 0.01% ? I love it! One mile back and one step forward, that is progress its official. In anyone else's book we're still a mile behind give or take a yard.

Ah dear Fantasee, lovely to see you! Thank you for your good wishes. I hope that you also have recovered from your encounter with the snot fairy. How is RubberDuck? I have missed his philosophical quacks.


...well, here I sit writing, feeling pretty smug. A lovely, decadent weekend over which Duchess proved that despite a cupboard full of toys - "All you need is rope. LAt DA DA DADAA. All you need is rope. LAt DA DA DADAA".

And she proved this several times. I feel quite drained, which is just as well. Seeing as my PA5000 has split and repairing it may take a couple of days... at least :-}

Seems my earlier fears re Duchess' position were unfounded. I have to remember that whilst I may desire her to be the compleat Dominatrix asap, she has a full and complex life to maintain. Her journey progresses as and when these complexities allow. After a weekend like this my impatience is in perspective and I realise I how lucky I am.

Imperceptibly the days are getting longer in our part of the world, I for one can't wait for Spring and the rising of the sap. I feel hopeful about this year, for no particular reason at all, just hopeful. The nearest I have made to a resolution is to try to cut down on the cigarettes.... but, more to the point of this thread - I guess my optimism is for mine and Duchess' gentle journey into the kinkier side of life. Which I'm sure will generate at least a few more entries to pad out this journal.