How many interact with other like minded couples...

Just curious, but what "dynamic" is that? I mean, my wife and I don't have any other dynamic, locked or not. My wearing a cage is a really minor factor in our relationship, virtually nothing, in fact, except in the bedroom.

 

Wife see's this as our business. That's why I come to CM. I'd go nuts not being able to talk about it and I can't in real life.

 

How do you find people in IRL to talk about stuff like this with?. I know munches and such but even then I would be soooo embarrassed to even broach the subject. Don't get me wrong I would love to meet another couple similar to ours but it seems like there would be so much weirdness around finding them.

 

We have many kinky friends who know our set up.

 

We have done on a handful of occasions. It was a former colleague of mine and her husband. We played out a couple of different dynamics and although the last time left a sour taste in my wife's mouth, it is often the fuel for our fantasies.

I had introduced my colleague to Tumblr after a very casual chat about the film 50 Shades. After setting up an account, she was hooked and her man went along for the ride.

The first dynamic was a basic cuckold/chastity scenario that morphed into a ffm 3-way with myself as locked spectatator. A very drunken affair in an impromptu hotel booking but a fun none the less. The second dynamic was a cuquean one. My wife was the one in a belt this time. My colleague took total control of my wife and she had my wife orally service her and her husband. Once more for me, drink resulted in my inability to perform so I ended up spectating again. The third time was very special for me though. We had gone down the route of cucqueaning this time and mmf 3-way was arranged between myself, my colleague and her husband.

It was arranged for a daytime during the midweek. I skipped work for a few hours and went to my colleagues home. I was greeted at the door by my colleague wearing an electric blue satin Hawes & Curtis pussybow blouse with a shirt pencil skirt, suspenders and heals. My most favourite look on a woman. I was invited in and escorted up to the master bedroom which is where her husband was waiting naked on the bed. To cut a long story short, us two men had intercourse with my colleague twice in the time as well as lots of handwork and blowjobs from her. There would be a twist though and one which would prove to be the most exciting sexual eperience in my life.

After we had all calmed down and cleaned up, my colleague reached into a drawer and produced a metal tube style chastity device. My colleague and wife had conspired. My wife bought the device and had it posted to my colleagues address and for the next 5 weeks, both myself and my wife were in a bit of a state, but a the best kind, if you know what I mean! I left my colleagues house in chastity and my colleague would be the key holder!! My wife would be made to go without access to my cock. Instead, the plan was for my wife to earn chances of getting the key earlier than the scheduled date of release. For various reasons (life getting in the way) she never got the key until that date. But in the meantime, my colleague could do as she pleased with my cock.

In hindsight, we could have all planned things better. My colleague was a real new-commer to Kink involving others, but she did show true signs of being a natural and brilliant Domme.

On the date of my release, we all met up for drinks. After a short time, my colleague took my wife to the room her and her husband were staying in at the hotel and had my wife service her before returning and resuming the party. An hour or so later, we were all going up to the room together. I was then tied to a chair, gagged and blindfolded by my colleague and the then her and her husband used my wife constantly for the next hour or two before my colleague finally freed my cock and lowered herself on to it and took my cum before my wife could!

I would do it all again given the chance. I might change a few details but it would all be loosely the same again.

Fingers crossed something like it will come about again!

 

Except for a few friends from years past and they know of the lifestyle We live most if not all our friends are into the Lifestyle. Besides Playing We Hangout Dinners shows or even Vacations together We no longer try and hide it from anyone.

 

For us, trying to find a couple to be friends with in the first place is hard enough! The men have to get along, the females have to like each other, and each female needs to be comfortable around the other’s partner.

Adding a sexual behavior to that equation would be daunting.

 

We are in the swing lifestyle so we know a lot of other couples from parties and resorts. But we have never met up with another FLR couple. We have tried a couple of times but it hasn't worked out. So ... any FLR couples within 250 miles or so of Louisville, Kentucky -- give us a shout. We'd love to have dinner and drinks, and get to know you.

 

Most of our vanilla friends, and many of Mistress' close family know about our lifestyle and some of the rituals that we use as part of that, including chastity and control.

The key is usually around her neck when we go out, and neither of us are embarrassed to answer the questions which are sometimes asked.

Usually people are very interested and I am certain some of them have subsequently tried it for themselves.

 

Interacting with like-minded couples (for platonic friendship) in material reality is actually one of the driving reasons W/we're on this site. I'm not sure how making friends exactly works, but I know W/we would very much like to do so.

 

When I was with My Ex 1984-1999 we always seemed to have fetish friendly couples as friends.They were often fetish party friends, who we met for drinks/meals at other times too.But since meeting My vanilla partner in 1999 we/I have had no couples as friends at all.Plenty of single men wanting to get to know Me.But they are married men, who are trying to escape their married lives.And get a few hours holiday from their wives.

 

I'd also tend to this approach, regard it as a private thing. And kink, same as it is with vanilla sex is only a small part of our lives for most people (although, for many people on this site - with a constant remnder, hehe)

That being said, among my friends and acquantances I know a few who MIGHT be involved in some kink play with their partners - by their reactions when such topics are discussed, and the degree of participation at all. I know those who MOST PROBABLY are not too, and also suspect who would and who would not freak out if they learned about someone else's kinks by accident. Although, for the most part I have no idea about, simply because we never discussed that.

But do I ask them what they do in the bedroom, or tell them what my member is sometimes adorned with? NO.

One female friend in a group of close friends i'm part of even accidentally outed herself once at a dinner, mentioning something briefly, after what we reconstructed the entire story. We had a brief laugh and it is a little dirty secret for those who were present that evening - but no one came back to discuss the story afterwards, it is their couple's life and their own business.

 

Right. In my 20s, a lot of my friends talked about their sex lives, in part because sexual exploration was new. In our 40s, 50s, 60s, for most of us it's a small portion of our day to day lives. Yes, there are some people who plan kink vacations and stuff, but my friends now don't even tell dirty jokes. I'm a fairly quiet, conservative seeming person in real life, and with my current group of friends, *I'm* the "crazy one."

And going back to the original post, Mrs Edge and I don't have an FLR, she's not a domme, and we (sadly) have almost nothing else going on kink-wise, except for this. For some people, it's a lifestyle, but for many of us, it's just a fun little thing.

 

I think I grew up in a bubble. Now in my 40s, more people know about my/our kinks than I am sometimes comfortable. Usually, it's not a couple, it is my wife sharing things with one of her friends. We live in a big city with lots of options and a diversity of people. I am surprised at the amount of couples we know where the woman (in 40s or 50s) is the one who wishes partner would experiment with kink more. I grew up thinking this would never be the case. Lately, busy real lives are getting in the way of social time, both vanilla and otherwise.

 

There's one (female) friend of my wife and I that we see a couple times a year (we live several states away) who half figured out *something* was up and asked me about it one day via online message.

In that conversation, she confessed she was majorly into BDSM and was poly. And her (at the time new) fiance liked to Dom her, but she was often was a switch. And I confessed I was locked up in a cock cage. And that my wife and I occasionally did bondage games. She even offered to help "train" or "guide" my otherwise fairly vanilla wife. That was like 1 1/2 years ago.

We (the two of us) occasionally will talk about it online. My wife knows about these conversations, but my wife and the friend never chat about it (at least that either has confessed to me). And the few times we've been together in person since it hasn't come up - though these are mostly with other groups of people around.

One of these days, I imagine we're going to be two couples out at the same time and it comes up for discussion. But dunno when or where. I think I'd like it if it did. Like said by several others, its part of the reason why I'm here - to talk about this with someone.

 

We're not very much into sharing. We're both agreeing that this is the best relationship of our lives and we've just not had any urge to share each other with others in any way.
We've thought about going to munches but reading the rules and such for those events doesn't make them appeal to us, we are practicing a loving form of BDSM that does not seem to resonate with many in the scene.
For instance my husband is my sub but he does not have to adress me as 'misstress' only or worship me outside the bedroom.
Our rule is that we're equals outside the bedroom, though my husband does do things we agreed upon that are pleasing to me as extra service. But I for instance never refer to him as 'slave' unless it is in a joking or teasing manner.
So the most we'll do is visit a lifestyle event to buy toys or other things of interest, but we're not really interested in mingling with other bdsm-ers as they seem to (often) hold a very different idea of the Domme/sub roles.

 

We don't know any In Ireland or in real life but I suspect by bro in law and his wife run a FLR.

 

I’m just curious why you suspect they have a FLR?

 

I have no idea if My sister in law, and her hubby are a FLR.
But she sure does boss him about, and seems to tell him off a lot these days.
He used to go with his mates all the time.But these days she always goes with him.

 

Same for me.

I do have the benefit of having a kink-friendly therapist who i can talk with, but that's not same as talking with friends. (I have suggested to my therapist that she try locking up her husband but her husband declined.)

 

W/we do a lot of inferring when W/we see a Bossy Lady/sweet and subby man combo. One day, I'd like to definitively know that one of these inferences is correct.

 

We are a small circle of 4 couples who share time together separately of all together. Mostly its dinner or drink at home or out, but occasionally we all get together at this one couples home. She is a Dom and she will host a mistress slave party in her home dungeon. The are a true FLR and she is the Queen Bee when the group is all together. The other couples are different, one is also a FLR, he screwed up and she is controlling him real tight. The other couple just likes BDSM and into male chastity, but during dungeon play she really gets into the scene. My wife and I also split responsibilities in real life, but in play she is the boss and knows how to push my buttons.

I only address my wife as Mistress when we agree we are in our roles and definitely all the time in our dungeon. When with others, once we start down the stairs to her basement we address the women as Mistress or the leader as Goddess. The other men are addressed as slaves and we are each assigned a nickname. Occasionally, my wife will have her best friend over (the 2nd FLR) for a swim or alone time and I am made to serve them during the visit. Other than this group, no one knows our business.

 

I wish we did. You know like friends over. I can only imagine what would happen with 2 KHs and subs in one house. It would be very cool to have some like minded friends .

 

In real life? None, we talk to a few on line, but in real life madam and I are not in to clubs or social gatherings.