Hi, it would be good to get some advice from the long time wearers on the time it takes to adjust both physically and emotionally to being locked up. I have recently acquired a jail bird cage which fits perfectly, so there is no issue with the cage. My question is at what point do most people adjust physically to wearing it 24/7. Emotionally what changes did you experience. What was harder?
Physically depends on you and the cage. Took me about 1 week when i finally got into my custom Evotion. But there were several cages before that. Emotionally, took a couple months to come into something of a balance with my keyholder. I wanted everything. Teasing all the time. I thought about my locked dick constantly. We had a few deep discussions about it and came to an agreement and equilibrium after a few months. Now i am locked 24/7 until my wife/KH wants to use my penis for her pleasure. I usually get to cum at those times. Otherwise I stay locked (usually... life things like doc appts dont count). My unlocks are random. 1-6 weeks go by, with an average around 3. Its just all her choice, and getting to and accepting that was hardest thing for both of us.
I don't think about the cage much at all. I just about always wear it, whenever, wherever. My wife has come to expect it. She doesn't make a big deal about being in charge of my dick, but she is and from time to time lets me know. One of my biggest struggles has been to get over my episodic resentment and expectations. I've been pretty good at that lately. It's taken me maybe 2 years to get where I am now, and I know I still have some distance to go. It's a long haul but for me it's been rewarding.
It’s different for everyone, I got used to wearing the cage within a couple of weeks, but it took a few months to fully submit and stop being bratty and moody at not getting my cock played with anymore.
It seems like the emotional part will be the most challenging. Physically i guess you get to the point where it feels natural. Emotionally I think it sounds like a journey. Personally I feel strongly that its a journey I want to take.
I think its about truely submitting and not trying to "top from the bottom". I keep making this mistake, but what I want deep down is for her to be in control.
There are ups and downs even at the earliest stages, and even while self-locking (although one might think ph, no big deal, i can unlock if i want)
My point of view is from the lockee's side, of course. And I was the one who suggested chastity, so those are definitely two variables that may change based on you scenario. I suggest two things: (1) Persistence. If this is something you *both* want, sticking with it until you can get over that hump will be very rewarding. My wife (who is my keyholder) was a little skeptical at first when I said I wanted to try this and leave her in control of unlocking me. But eventually - and it wasn't *that* long - she realized she *much* preferred me when I was locked up, versus not. It might take a few months, so stick with it ... But don't let that stop you from ... (2) Talking about it. We had to check in every so often, have a "serious chat about my dick". It helped us refine our journey and get to the point we're at now, where both of us are happy* with the situation. *Relatively speaking of course.;-) My wife is quite happy she's got a husband who's more attentive and willing to make her happy. I ... spend a lot of time sexually frustrated. But then again, that makes me happy...
Thanks, we are doing "lockober" in modified way. My wife does not want me locked up at work, so I am required to lock up as soon as I get home. On weekends its 24/7. I guess we will see how this goes for the month. Maybe have a chat as you suggest in November. Thanks again for the advice.
@MRS.Lilith, cel has it right, persistence. He wants this and you know it will make him a better husband. You need to make this real for him, to become the leader of your marriage. This can start with little things -- stop saying please, and instead say "I'd like another cup of coffee" -- and have a set of expectations -- the bed will be made, the dishes will be done -- and followup. Bratty and moody are not acceptable -- be explicit, "I'm training you to be a better husband. Your penis doesn't run our marriage anymore. You'll get an erection when I decide you deserve one." And discipline. A disciplined chaste husband loses the argument with himself every time, he comes to accept that you're in charge and that he's submissive.
From the very beginning my Wife said the most important rule was that i'm never allowed to ask to be unlocked (unless it's for medical reasons) and never allowed to hint, whine or complain or be pouty about being locked. She said that any of those things will lead to an automatic 3 weeks being added to my lockup. On a side note, i've never known how much time i have already that the 3 weeks would be added to and have never been unlocked since we started this.
Aside from no cheating, it's pretty much the first rule of chastity -- no whining. You asked for this, you know you need this, so shut up and be patient and accept your chastity and accept that she'll let you out when you need to be let out, a time she will know better than you do.
I spose it really is how much the man play with himself and makes messes. One man on here once sayed that he did it 6 times evry day. well if he did he must have found it very hard to be lock up in a cage.
Heh. Its funny about this, my wife actually enjoys it (sometimes) when I complain about how horny I am. She gets off on it, and on telling me "You asked for this, so deal."